Johnny Johnny bo Johnny

fee fi fo fonny... Johnny!!!

So the Yankees signed Johnny Damon. Now in New England, the world is ending. Johnny's a traitor, the Yankees stole him, blah blah blah. Get over it. Bob Ryan says it best...

First of all, why on earth should Johnny Damon show any loyalty to the Red Sox? They were his third team!!! It's not like he came up through the system!!! Second of all, he wanted to stay with the Red Sox, but the Yankees offered him 12 million more!!! Now, I have a coworker who asked me, with a straight face, how three million more dollars a year could possibly make a difference. Seriously? This argument sucks. Three million more dollars a year is a lot of fucking money. That makes a difference to just about anybody that can add.


As far as the Yankees stole him argument.. He was a free agent for Christ's sake! The Red Sox, the Royals, the Devil Rays, and the Yankees all had the same opportunity to sign him. He gave the Red Sox a chance to match the offer the Yankees made, and they refused! So where in this is stealing?

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So enivitably, this will lead to more of the "Yankees are buying a championship" argument. Horseshit. You know who the richest owner in sports is? Carl Pohlad, the owner of the Twins. Now, I'm not sticking up for Steinbrenner, who is a pompous old asshole in a lot of ways. But at least he puts his money where his mouth is and puts the best team he can afford on the field. Would anybody seriously prefer to root for a team where the owner pocketed money instead of spending it on players? Anybody that would is an idiot.

Just like anybody that would take a job, all other things being equal, with a three million dollar per year disparity in pay, needs to go back and review their basic math skills.

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So if you want to feel bad because the Sox just fucked up and lost your favorite player, go ahead. I don't want to hear about it being anybody's fault but the management of the Red Sox.

Hopping all over the cable bandwagon

Goody appears to have remembered how to type! And he was paying $120 for cable? What the fuck? I had digital cable and hi speed internet through ahellphia, and it never got up above $90. Particularly once my boss agreed to pay for the internet portion of it since I work at home so much. Still, for once, Goody's point is valid.

Digital cable is a rip-off, and the regular "classic" package isn't much better. I mean, I like a good informatial as much as the next person, but come on. 15 channels of QVC? (On a very related note, somehow I don't yet own a Ginsu knife. Yet.) I do know people that like the home shopping network, but very few of them also want Sportscenter and MTV. (On another related note, why is there no retirement network? Or is this what QVC stands for? Quit Vorking, Corporation? Quick, Vhile Cicking? What?)

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So why is it that there is no competition amongst cable companies? If you can read (I know, I said IF dummies) then you've read about how movie companies are going broke because people are staying home to watch tv instead of going to the movies. How hasn't this translated into some price competition? I mean, is it harder to get cable up to Maine than it is to get oil? Off the top of my head, in Orono I have the option of Dead River, RH Foster, Irving, Weber, Standard Oil, Murphy Bros... I'm sure there's more. Off the top of my head, I can name one competitor to Adelphia. DirectTV. Great fucking options people.

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As far as Goody's idea about a la carte cable companies, great idea. Not the first time I've heard it... But great idea. In fact, that might be another blog, what channels would I choose...

Thank God I Cancelled Cable

Busy, busy, busy.

Our friends in the federal government decided that the 12th day of Christmas looked like a nice due date for our renewal grants, so I've been crunching numbers this week. It's amazing how hard it is to get data from schools when they're on holiday...

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So I have to admit, I am addicted (sort of) to a couple tv shows. To be honest, I can't actually remember the last time this happened. Seinfeld, Friends, Cheers, all good shows. I never could even remember what day they were on, I was always to busy either with sports in HS, working, or partying/studying in college. Now, as I am an old, broke fucker, I turn on the boob tube every night, and try to stare through the static to catch a rhyme or meaning to the trashiness. While I still can't understand the appeal of reality shows, there are a few shows that I do kind of like.

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Lost - I like this show, I think. I missed the first season, and most of this season, but it's an interesting format for a show.

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Grey's Anatomy - I am absolutely confused by the fact that I like the show. As far as I can tell, it is basically a simple formula of:

(90210 + ER)
__________
( 1/4 Cheers + Scrubs.)

Does that sound good? It doesn't to me. Maybe I like it because the cute girl from Old School gets drunk a lot. Maybe I need to stop drinking partaking of the crack pipe while watching the tv.

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How I met your Mother:

OK, this show I've only seen twice, and I can't even remember what the name actually is, but whoever wrote this show, while they need to stop laying on the cheese, definitely knows people our age. And each time I've watched it (remember, twice) there have been a few laugh out loud moments. The first show I saw had a scene where one couple had to go to a wine party, and weren't allowed to drink the wine because wine had to air out. The other couples were talking about stock options and babies. The guy took the only rational response, and jumped out the window of their apartment's bathroom, and went to the bar to meet up with his buddies. I mean, haven't we all been there? Whatever. I have no life.

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OK, that's all I'm admitting to for now. If I feel braver tomorrow I might dive into my unexplicable laughter at a t.v. show involving Freddie Printz and Brian Austin Green. Crap.

Mini-rant Friday...

So apparently I wasn't meant to post twice in a day, as I forgot all about my pseudo-promise almost as soon as I made it. By the way, thanks for the reminder, Goody, that peepee jokes are still funny. It'll be great in two or three years when you and your kid just sit around telling poop jokes and laughing hysterically. Poor Amy.

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I was listening to the radio on the way to work yesterday, and it was time for the sports talk newsflash. Item number one was that NASA has just announced that this past year was the warmest year on record. (Sure as hell doesn't feel that way in Orono right now, but whatever.) They also said that it was warm in an unnatural way that can only be explained by, wait for it... Global Warming!!! (Doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that one out, oh wait...)

I'll let Johnboy explain why our government is cutting funding in environmental studies, as I'm just not smart enough to understand. Assuming of course that his brain bucket is still intact.

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Another rant: Yesterday in class my professor asked, "Who has read "Player Piano" by Kurt Vonnegut." One person. Me. He then asked, "Who has heard of it?" Same person. Finally, "Who has heard of Kurt Vonnegut?" Three hands went up. I was amazed that on a college campus, in a room of people who are, generally anyways, not idiots, only three people had even heard Kurt Vonnegut. And then I read this article in the Times, affirming what I already knew:

Kids these days just can't read like they used to.

What's this? A blog?

Apparently I am a creature of routine. I never would have thought that, until I stopped writing the blog daily. It's hard to start back up again, isn't it Goody?

Gonna start back up nice and slow, get it going again, you know?

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Apparently John has been hard at work proving that his brain can take a beating. Those of us that knew John in college already knew that, of course.

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My class of this semester is almost over, which means I have a final next week. Good times, good times. It's been a little while since I actually studied for one of these bad boys, I'm guessing, oh, maybe senior year in HS? Maybe junior year? Should be interesting.

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So I haven't gotten around to signing up for a new class yet. Partially due to being busy, but mostly due to the fact that I simply can't decide what program I want to do a master's in. Right this second I am kind of leaning toward creating my own, something like a "Effects of technology on education" or something like that. No doubt I will think that is a bad idea one class in.

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OK, that's all for now. I might check back in a few hours to rant about a small scientific discovery that was announced recently...

My Kingdom for a Plot!

Got a phone call from a polish kid the other day requesting a movie review of Jarhead. Sorry buddy, doesn't work like that. Especially since I've already left my house once this week, and I'm going to be in Puerto Rico next week. By the way, Cpt Polish, I swear I'm going to call you back one of these days, but I was busy hosting a bachelorette party until all hours of the night. Tonight might be the night that I return some phone calls, as the gf will be off getting pampered or some such thing in preparation for marrying off a friend from school.

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Watched Kingdom of Heaven last night, and I have to say...

It wasn't good.

But it had potential. It was actually the only bad movie I've ever seen where I was thinking, this movie needs to be longer. It wanted to be an epic a la braveheart or gladiator, but they kind of forgot to make you give a shit about any of the characters. There was just a bunch of action scenes involving Legolas the elven wonder, and then the big guy from Braveheart would say some thing zany and kill some people, and then Legolas would look serious and sad, and some girl would look strung out and sad like she was missing a fix, and then there would be more action and blood, maybe some fire, and all of a sudden the movie was over. Looking back they did have some almost plot development, but then all the characters were killed before it got too far.

It's too bad too, because the cast actually wasn't bad. (Except for miss heroin chic, who was supposed to play the hot queen who hooks up with the main character, except she wasn't hot, and I wasn't even aware that heroin chic existed in 1041.) Liam Neeson (Rob Roy), Jeremy Irons (Crazy Fucker), Brendan Gleeson (Big Guy in Braveheart,) and even Orlando (The Elf) Bloom weren't bad, they just didn't have quite enough to do.

All in all, watching this movie is kind of like watching a movie while taking a nap on the couch. Don't be surprised if you keep pinching yourself to make sure you weren't missing anything. (Like when people die that you don't give a shit about, but the music says you should, for example.)

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FYI: For anyone who gives a shit, odds are that I don't write too much next week, sorry. Unless something down in PR super-motivates me.

Parliament funkadelic

Sitting in class today, my professor said something interesting. Swear to god. I almost fell out of my chair, but fortunately my desk was designed for a little person, so I was wedged in pretty well.

He was talking about the canadian government, and how they are undergoing a new election, and mentioned that in a lot of ways their form of elections is better than ours. He was saying this because elections in Canada actually end, as opposed to here, where we are still debating the 2000 Florida results.

Canadia, much like England, follow a Parliamentary gov't. What that means I'm not sure. What I do have is a rough idea of how their elections work. From what I understand, the Prime Minister is basically the leader of the majority party, and has to call for an election periodically. They can do this whenever they want, but there is a time limit. So... When a prime minister is very popular, they might call an election so as to not have to call an election when they were in more of a down turn. For example, now would not be the right time for GW the stupider to call for an election.

When the Prime Minister calls for an election, there is 5 weeks of campaigning, and then an election. I'm not sure if anyone else has noticed, but Hillary Clinton started campaigning during Kerry's disastrophy, and John McCain only took a brief timeout after losing to GW in the 2000 primaries. Wouldn't it be nice if we could have just 5 weeks to deal with their horseshit before we voted on them? I mean, does two years of open campaigning help anybody? Really all that accomplishes is that only the truly rich can win an election.

When they talk about election reform, how come ideas like this never come up?

No naps on this day...

The unthinkable has happened.

Somehow, that horror of horrors, the impossible itself, has happened.

Thanksgiving came and went, turkey was eaten, football was on, wine was drunk, and yet... No nappy nap.

Why is this? Simple. The bane of the holiday seasons: The Posed, Fake Smiley Picture. For years, we have been more or less past this event, what with everyone growing up and not being cute and smiley anymore. Now, my cousins have reached the point where they feel like inflicting their own issues on smaller versions of themselves, so there are small pooping machines that need to be forced to sit still and small at a small flashing machine. Thanks to the invention of the digital camera, there no longer is any excuse not to take pictures all day long, without pause for such necessities as naps, football, or, god forbid, hot turkey sandwiches.

As a matter of fact, I just realized that I somehow made it through the holidays without a turkey sandwich drenched in sweet, sweet turkey fat! I'm going to have to wait until next Thanksgiving, when there will be even more pooping and noise making machines running around.

DAMN YOU FAKE SMILEY PICTURE!!!

Seriously, who likes the posed picture? Is this something that happens with breeding? I.e., you pop out a kid and all of a sudden you need to pose for needlessly repititive pictures of people grimacing?

Can someone please answer me? Regardless of the cause, we need to find a cure. Once my naps and sandwiches get messed with, there's no more fucking around.

Am I a snob? Mebbe so.

I discovered Johnny Cash via Willie Nelson several years back. I'd listened to some Cash before, particularly "Ring of Fire," which for a while closed down Margarita's every night. (For a while, so did I.) But then I bought At Folsom Prison about four years ago, and I was hooked. I mean, anyone who can cover Tom Petty and Nine Inch Nails, and OWN it... That's a guy with some talent. I've bought many albums of his since then, and loved just about all of them. Folsom Prison is still my favorite album of Johnny Cash's, and I listen to it at least once a week, often more.

Needless to say, I was interested to see Walk The Line, but as much as anything I was a little apprehensive about it. For one thing, they had legally blond playing June Carter.

Well everything went well. All the main, and most of the minor actors in the movie absolutely fucking nailed it. Most everyone has heard that Pheonix really sounds like Cash, and blondie sounds like June Carter. True.

So why did I leave the movie a little bummed out?

Easy. I'm a snob.

Starting now, it's going to be impossible to distinguish people who listen to Johnny Cash, with the people who also listen to the Backstreet Boys but saw Walk the Line and kind of liked the music. Soon enough, people in Abercrappy are going to know the words to Folsom Prison Blues, and that's going to piss me off.

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I tried to explain this to the gf last night, and was informed that I was being a pompous ass, and that I should be glad people were going to learn to listen to music that I liked. Well, I certainly can be an elitist, but only because I know that there are an awful lot of stupid people in the world. And seriously, there are people in the world that thought the Spice Girls made good music. It's not hard for me to consider myself better than them.

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So ignoring my misgivings about new Cash fans, I really do highly recommend watching Walk the Line. It's gooder than most of the crap movies out there, and whether or not you already like Johnny Cash, you will at least recognize where the appeal comes from.

Recovery time needed...

Things that we learned this weekend:

We learned that West Virginia has palm trees, and that there are 17 original colonies. We alse learned that Joe is full of shit, but we knew that already, right Liz?

We also learned that sometimes, despite the best intentions, a shitty bartender or two can be the reason you don't get as drunk as intended. I don't want to mention any names here, but if you're an irish bar that can't claim the reigning bartender of the year in Portland ME, you suck. Unless you are named after an ancient irish king, in which case you are just fine, thank you.

What else was learned? Important lessons about dress codes. For example, if you claim to be a "pub," you shouldn't have an Abercrombie dress code. Let's see, which bar in Portland that brews their own beer but doesn't serve it very quickly am I thinking of?

We learned Drew has an accent that can't be explained easily, but we saw the beginnings of this a year ago. Good on Drew for somehow not blowing out a body part this year by the way! Bookies weren't taking odds on this one..

Above all else, we learned about laundry detergent. And Gushee. And I never, ever, ever want back any clothes that may have ended up his after any of the years we lived together. Because really, I just have a sneaking suspicion, he might have treated them like shit.

Balls? What balls?

So.. I cashed in my balls this evening. I didn't even know it happened, as I was asleep at the time. I came home from work, got comfortable on the couch, and began napping. When I awoke, I had lost control of the remote, and of my balls. The gf had taken advantage of my nap to put on Sex in the City.

Freshly out of balls, I decided to call Goody. If anyone would know how to cope with a ballless state it was him.

Unfortunately, Goody didn't know of any remedies for the problem. Maybe if I ask nice the gf will return my balls for this weekend, but I doubt it.

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In other news, I hear there's going to be about a zillion people in the land of the Port this weekend. I fear for my liver.

In related news, rumors that Joey T doesn't know how to use his cell phone appear to be false, but I'd still place money that he doesn't know how to check his voicemail.

Drunken Kiwis like dogs

So Johnson's moving back to the land of the Mormons. Well, I bet he can out drink most of them.

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Goody can only write once a month, whether or not anything new happens to him. Although, like always, he can be influenced by a drunk phone call.

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And the Kiwi has landed in the land of the Puritans. We tested out several of the new bars in the bustling Metropolis of Oh Row No. Of course, all the bartenders knew my first name, so maybe it wasn't the first test drive for me. Still, the common consensus was that having more than one bar to go to is a good thing.

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The dogface took an instant liking to the Kiwi. I mean, full on tongue kissing and everything. If the dogface had any equipment left, there is a halfway decent chance we could have seen little Kiwi/Boxer mixes running around. Of course we figured out that the Kiwi had been hunting recently and spilled some scent on his watch, which for the dogface is basically like an aphrodisiac. S0 the Kiwi has a new girlfriend.

Of course, the dogface is now physically incapable of putting out, but whatever. Does this make me the happy father? Or does this make the Kiwi a fan of dog sex? Should I be lecturing the Kiwi about keeping the dogface out past curfew?

Can we get a vote here?

holy batshit batman

Another movie recommendation for you kind folks today.

Batman Begins.

This is a fine piece of movie, full of sweet action scenes, a token cute chick, and a man dressing up like a bat. For the first time though, they addressed some key issues, such as:

Well.

OK.

I can't remember shit about the movie. Think I might have killed those particular brain cells Saturday night. Anyways, , there were a few thoughts that kept running through my mind while watching the movie about a man and the bats. I guess there might be spoilers below, if you haven't seen any previews or been to a grocery store recently.

• Interesting. There doesn't appear to be any batshit in that cave. These bats must shit, right? So... Where's the bat shit?
  
• So.. She's banging Maverick, huh. Goose must be pissed.
  
• So.. Unless I'm mistaken.. The Scarecrow in this movie really, really, likes LSD. Right? So this movie is like a long Don't do Drugs Ad, right?
  
• Christian Bale is better than the second Michael Keaton, but I'm not sure about the first. Batman three and four never happened, by the way

So anyways, despite what might seem like negative thoughts floating through my head during the bat movie, it was gooder than most movies I've seen recently. So watch it.

Burn baby burn

Ahhh

So another weekend come and gone, with yet another session of unproductivity. Unless of course, you count drinking a bunch of wine, burning a bunch of wood, and shooting stuff as a productive weekend. Which, fortunately for me, I do.

So my liver is another decade older today. Let's just say that the drive home on bumpy Maine roads was an experience that I'm not looking forward to repeating anytime soon. Fortunately, I have the next couple of weeks to recover before we head to the Port Land for a session with some folks from other parts of the world, namely Auck Land and West Vagina Land.

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Apparently the dogface had a good weekend, culminating in a makeout session with four girls Sunday morning. In my bed. Good times, good times. Unfortunately there were no pictures for you beastiality lovers out there. You know who you are.

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In related news, somehow JR and I managed not to cook any of his doglike cats this weekend. Not sure how that is, but I guess it could have had something to do with the fact that we never exactly made it to the late night. Oops.

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Just me and the dogface tonight, as the gf has officially moved into the "stay at school til all hours of the night teaching little girls to bounce around with smiles on their faces" portion of her schedule. Which means, I have to fend for myself in the kitchen. Thank god we reconnected the smoke alarms yesterday.

Votations, palpatations, and, quite possibly, some fire.

So it appears that it's actually going to be a close vote as to whether or not we're discriminating on Tuesday. While I hope that we will all be able to be fired from our jobs simply for gross incompetence, I think there is always the chance that Maine could decide that being gay is a good enough reason to get fired. Go Maine! So in other words, get your stupid asses out and vote no on 1 Tuesday.

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Also on the ballot are a bunch of other things which I'm sure we should all care about, but you all are on your own for those. Particularly those of you in parts of the country other than Maine.

Except Jeffy, who I am sure has to worry about highly concerning things like, "Should the Gubernator be allowed to star in the sequal to Commando?" (Absolutely) and "Which Ahnuld movie is the most funniest, Kindergarten Cop, Total Recall, or Junior? (Tough call, but I'm going with... Commando in a write-in vote.)

Also Eileen, who I am sure has to vote on such things as "Marrying your sister is ok as long as she has at least three teeth," and "Any more than 4 cars up on blocks in your front yard is considered a parking garage."

Drew, I'm just guessing they don't even let your ass vote down there, so don't worry about anything but the Maori women. I hear they're crazy. Oh wait, you told me that.

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Forecast for this weekend:

Seeing as how a severe Pi Phi warning is in effect for Saturday, it seems like a good time for me to get the fuck out of Dodge for the night. I'm cruising down to good ole Starks ME, where I hope to shoot some shit, burn some shit, and drink a whole messload of shit. Probably going to be messy, something tells me the events in the house are going to be worse.

Good Luck Dogface!

O Sweet Litigious Society

Listening to the radio this morning on the way into work, and a person came on from CDC (Center for Disease Control.) He was talking about the avian flu. He sounded, understandably enough I suppose, depressed. According to him, its basically just a matter of time before we get hit with the flu. And then he said

"Fortunately we have developed a vaccine that is very effective."

While saying this, his voice remained in a Ben Stein monotone, and I was thinking to myself, shouldn't he be happy about this? This is good news, right? Then he says,

"Unfortunately we don't have even close to the capacity needed to create enough of the vaccine."

Ugh

It appears that many companies have gotten out of the creating vaccinations business because there were too many lawsuits.

I don't know about anyone else, but that sure makes me proud to be an American.

givlomh vp,[iytd

See if you can guess the code to the title by the end of this blog.

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So, fairly productive weekend. No big hangovers, no serious partying, in other words, it was definitely not a peach house weekend. I did manage to rake some of the lawn until I managed to see some leaves still in the trees. Cancel that thought for at least another week then.

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There are rumors in the wind of a Ziemak landing on the shores of Borono, but we'll see. A Ziemak sighting is not official until he walks through the doors.

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Plans for this week include building (more) shelves. Wahoo. Maybe this time I'll figure out how to cut a straight line with my skill saw. Then again, maybe this time I'll figure out how to hide a table saw in the basement until such a time as I can convince the GF that it was a good idea. Which it so obviously is.

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Halloween tonight. Trying to figure out if this means that I'm responsible for being polite when people come to the door. For example, when my loser-ass neighbor brings his little loser-ass kids to the door, do I have to pretend they're not geeks? Or that their costumes are anything other than pretentious? (<-- Just a guess here.)

Can I sick the dogface's tail on them?

Let me know quickly, time is running out...

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(Oh as to the code, look to the left of each letter on your keyboard...)

An Ode to the Peach House

Sweet it's Friday. Thank God. Time to put away the laptop for the weekend.

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Time to go home, take a quick powernap, before cruising out to the store to buy either a 30-rack or a keg, depending on the amount of people that will be coming over later. Better pick up a 30 rack as well, just in case, for some late night beverages, you know. Better safe than thirsty.

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Alright, we got beer, we got some friends together, music's on, time for some beer die. Maybe some flip cup if there's enough of the girls around.

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Holy shit, it's 11 already. No wonder I almost fell off the porch last time I got up to take a piss. We gotta get our shit together if we're going to get up to the bar for last call. God knows "one more beer" for the Spaniard can take a good hour.

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Last call

Hey where the fuck did Tomazin go. Oh wait, there he is, talking with that random dude. Oh wait, now he's talking to someone else. Tell you what Joey, we'll meet you back at the house.

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more beer die. I think I just heard Gushee cursing someone out in the other room. Couldn't have been that bad though, didn't hear any furniture getting thrown.

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3 o'clock already. Jesus, where are we going to get more beer at this hour. HA! I hid a 30 rack in my room. Warm Busch beer, is there anything better?

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5 o'clock

skljnsdf laksdfn alkdfs sdf Think I'm going to go to . . as dasd zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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Good god who set off the bomb in my head? And my stomach? What time is it? Noon already? Is that a die hitting a table I just heard? Better get upstairs and check it out.

ugh

Maybe a quick nap first.

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Wow this room smells great. Let's avoid this mess and go get some Rat's. That's more like it. Then we can hit the store on the way back and get some beers to drink while we throw some shoes and figure out what to do tonight. Wonder what that's going to be.

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I almost, ALMOST, miss those days. Not sure I'd re-do it, but it was pretty fun while it happened.

huh.. they have baseball in Chicago?

Color me fooled. I thought that the postseason stopped about a month ago when the Sox and the Yankees lost.

OK I'm lying, I watched an inning or two of the World Series. But seriously, I like baseball about as much as anyone I know, and this was World Series absolutely bored the fuck out of me. I know the games were close, but that's because they were close with suckiness.

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One more baseball note: I honestly could not care less if Roger Clemens comes back this year or not. I'm not sure how he went from being a fat fuck with a bad temper to one of the all time greats, but somehow he just kept playing, and playing, and playing, and all of a sudden he wasn't a sellout anymore. Interesting.

OK that's it for baseball. Judging by the amount of people that watched, nobody cares.

Crazy Yes, Wrong No

"The Bush White House is the most corrupt administration in U.S. history since President Warren G. Harding's" - Howard Dean

(http://pressherald.mainetoday.com/news/state/051023dean.shtml)

Howard Dean may be a madman, but he's not wrong this time.

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For those of you who couldn't remember their history classes (like , umm, me) the parallels between Harding and Bush are striking.

• Once in office, Harding admitted to his close friends that the job was beyond him. (I wonder who Bush has admitted this to?)
  
• He allowed Andrew Mellon to push through tax cuts for the rich. (No comment needed here)
  
• Most historians regard Harding as the worst President in the nation's history. (HA!)
  
• Here is an article comparing Harding's administration and oil companies with Bush's administration and Enron.
  

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Well, it's good to see that someone in the Democratic party knows their history. Hopefully they can

Speaking of Hurricanes...

Hurricane Homecoming has come and gone, and left behind some vague memories, hangovers, and good times. Oh, and a shit ton of dirty dishes.

Thought the day (Saturday) was going to get off to a drunker start than it did when Robinson and I ended up at the Blues Cafe for some lunchtime beers while the girls Pi Phi'd it up. After several Bud's the girls (the gf and Elizabeth) showed up, and we ate, and somehow made a ?wise? decision and hit the coffee for a bit, and watched a little Starsky and Hutch. As Robinson had never seen it before, this directly led to us saying "Do it." for the rest of the weekend. As you can imagine, we were beating the girls off with sticks all Saturday night.

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I'd love to tell a bunch of details about this weekend, but the important thing to know is that Robinson and I ended up with sitting on opposite couches, warring with mp3s. I started off strong with I'm too sexy, Fat Bottomed Girls, and a few others, but Robinson fought back, and eventually overwhelmed me with Um Skinny Bop. I had no response, and the battle of music was over. This time.

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Let's just say that the most productive thing that was accomplished Sunday was John and I making an emergency grease run to the BK for whoppers and bacon double cheeseburgers.

Time for some optimism??? Or just time for some progress.

Johnson's pissed.

I hear you John.

Still, I'm not sure that proposing our government start an opium habit is going to fly in the red states. Although, to be honest, it seems like the pipe has been passed around there a bit too much already.

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Let's look back a bit. 86 years ago, women gained the right to vote for the first time. This marked the first time that over half the population could vote. Now, less than half the population doesn't vote out of apathy.

135 years ago, people were granted the right to vote regardless of race. (A whole vote, instead of 3/5 of a vote!)

5 years before that, slavery was abolished.

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Now, When was the last time any real progress was made? We live in the 21st century, and people are still discriminated against all the time, we just can't always see it as easily. We have no separation of church and state, nor do we have equal rights for all. Gay people aren't allowed to be united in a civil ceremony because, well, I guess I just don't know why. Couldn't possibly be because of religion.

Now the laws that are being passed are regressive instead of progressive.

In 1965 Lyndon Baines Johnson passed the Higher Ed Act, which was intended to provide access to college to people that were not able to access college without some assistance. These programs have grown into things like the Pell Grants, TRiO programs, Financial Aid, etc.

In 2005 George Bush the Dumber tried to cut out a large part of these bills, and has resisted efforts to reauthorize the bill. He is still trying to cut out sections of these bills to pay for his war in Iraq, and damages from Katrina.

This is what I call progress.

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We still have racism and prejudice in this country, but it is now based on things such as family income or mental/physical disabilities. Any wonder that "No Child Left Untested" doesn't allow for reasonable accomodations for students with disabilities? Students are being pushed out of schools because they are hurting percentages, instead of being given extra help because they don't fit an educational niche.

While I'm talking about prejudice, I don't want to imply that racism based upon color of skin has gone anywhere. Not to harp on an old subject, but I firmly believe that if the victims of Hurricane Katrina were white, never mind wealthy, we would have had them out of there the day before the storm, never mind had a reasonable response rate after the hurricane.

Agghh

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I'm disgusted with my country today.

Baby steps, misc

Well, the sink doesn't leak anymore, and there is both hot and cold water, and there is still a ceiling in the kitchen. So, I guess all's well that leaves only a watermark.

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Got the shelves for the closet nailed together. Note that I said nailed and not glued. I had routed some lines for the shelves to fit into, but apparently I was drunk when I was cutting the boards, so only one fit. Nothing a rubber mallet and some will power couldn't fix though. Looks like there will be some caulking going on when those shelves get installed.

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At Robinson's recommendation, I bought "A People's History of the United States" the other day. So far, I can see what John was talking about when he said that he had to read a chapter, put it down, and go back to it because he got so angry. The introductory chapter deals with Columbus and the natives that he encountered/enslaved when he reached the New World. Hard passages to read. Hard reading, particularly to anyone who has any view of Columbus as a hero. So far, this seems like a must-read to anyone with any interest in revisionist history.

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My pops put in his notice of retirement as of January. Hard to imagine, but he's been at his job for almost 37 years. I wonder if that will be the case for anyone of our generation. It doesn't seem like I can even name anyone that's held the same job for 5 years, let alone 10. I know it's been expounded on by many, but it just doesn't seem like there's any loyalty on either side of the employee/employer relationship anymore.

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Next steps for projects on the house? While it's looking like the kitchen has moved up the priority scale, I was thinking it was time to put down some new baseboard in the dining room. Also, there are several bottles of wine in the wine rack that I was thinking could use some help. Oh, and my couch could use a nap with me too.

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Just got word of the arrival of two people that like to play with rocks and dirt, from West Virginny and somewhere on the other side of the world. Not sure Orono can handle either of them anymore, but then again, the Orono that they knew didn't have Naughty School Girl contests at the Bear Brew either.

Home (dis)repair and other (mis)adventures

So the gf finally convinced me that having hot water in your bathroom sink is a good thing, so this weekend I decided to tackle the installation of a new faucet and drain in the sink. Now, I've done some plumbing before, but largely of the camp or pool variety. So, I decided that, instead of fixing what was broken, we would buy a whole new set up for 40 bucks and install that instead. Easier, right?

Well, it was. After some minor setbacks, (like the fact that I don't actually fit under the sink, and my hands were too big for several of the openings, and my left arm is a useless apendage so I had to do everything right handed,) I had everthing going nicely. Drain was draining, water was hot, etc. I was a little proud, I mean it wasn't hard, but at least I hadn't fucked it up.

So, let's quickly go over some of the differences between plumbing in camps, pools, and houses. The biggest difference? When you fuck up plumbing a pool, the filter loses it's prime. Big deal, run a hose, re-prime, bam. You're good to go. When you fuck up while you're working on plumbing at a camp, some rocks get wet. When you fuck up in a house, well...

Monday afternoon, after a halfway decent Monday of work, as I reach into the fridge, I feel an drop of water on my head. Ominous. As I slowly tilt my head up to see why it is raining inside, I am a tad bit surprised to see a bubble of paint in the sailing. With a drip of water coming down towards me. Mind you, this isn't a small bubble, but a c-cup sized bubble.

At about this time is when the gf came home. I haven't yet resorted to cursing or killing small animals yet, but that moment isn't far away. Fortunately, I am fairly easy to read when I am in this mood, so both the gf and the dogface are still around today.

To make a long story short, apparently I somehow stripped some of the valves while I was running the pipe from the water pipes to the faucets. Unfortunately, it was only a slight stripping (think pasties and a thong) so there was no visual or audial drip. Instead, the water trickled slow down the water line, pooling on the floor behind the counter, where it eventually seeped through onto the seiling in the kitchen, where it de-mudded the sheetrock on the ceiling.

So, let's just say that improvements to the kitchen have moved up in the timeline.

Remember this if you ever hear me recommending that anyone else buy a house.

Willie

I'm not sure why I love Willie Nelson's music. I think a large part of it is that he is an "American Classic" whatever that really means. I like the fact that he sings about shit other than gang banging and whores, and that he's been around a bit. I'm in awe of him for somehow owing the IRS a gi-normous amount of money. But really, I think it's just that his music fucking rocks. If you don't agree, don't tell me.

So I decided to kill my lunch time on a Friday by trying to figure out which Willie song is the best.

City of New Orleans - This is a distinct possibility, but to be honest, the meaning of this song has shifted so recently that I'm not sure. A song that used to make me think about going home, cruising around on a train...Well... Those just aren't the thoughts that it brings to mind any more. So It'll have to be something else.

Crazy - Great song, and Willie wrote it and does a great version of it. Anyone who hasn't heard Patsy Cline's version of it might be tempted, but as it is, I have heard Patsy Cline's version and Willie's kind of... just isn't as good.

Always on my mind - Another great song, but I challenge you to think of this song without thinking of a guy who trades a super hot chick for a pair of jeans.

Mammas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Cowboys - I actually think I like the name of this song more than the song.

September Song - This is a good song, but it's just a bit too slow. When Willie's at his best he's morose, and sad, but funny about it. The perfect example of that is;

Last Thing I Needed First Thing This Morning - I love this song, but I just haven't had any days this bad in a while. Still, I've always thought that this was my favorite song of Willie's, and am just finding out that right now anyways, it's not.

I'm embarrassed to admit it, but right now my favorite Willie Nelson song is On the Road Again. I'm looking outside right now, and it's nice out, the thought of a road trip is a nice (but unlikely) thought. I also get this sneaking suspicion that this song is just a bit closer to Willie than all of those songs about him being sad about this or that. I mean, he just doesn't look that depressed to me, and this is a fun song that screams DRIVE FAST. I suppose the amount of travelling I've been doing could factor in here, but I'm not sure. I don't really like to travel that much, I just don't mind it as much as some.

I dunno, but that's all I've got for today. I'll try to write some this coming week, but I'm away all week so I can't promise anything.

Never home and other things.

So I have this house, with this dog, and this gf, and this yard, and plenty of unfinished projects. (Also, due to me falling asleep on the couch last night, plenty of dirty dishes.) With all of the travelling I've been doing recently, I'm starting to lose track of the simple things in the house. I mean, since the gf has moved in and rearranged things, I can never find out where any of the food is (the beer - I can find.) This I've just learned to deal with -- She is better at hiding things than I am. That's fine.

No, the things that I'm losing track of are much more fundamental than that. Just last night, I woke up in the middle of the night and almost went to the bathroom in my office. Oops. Try explaining that one to your boss: "Ummm nope, no idea why my laptop smells like urine. Must have been that damn dog."

Fortunately, I came to in time and made it to the bathroom. Of course, running through the house with your willie hanging out is at the very least undignified, so my ego feels like it has taken a small beating. Never fear, there's more ego where that came from, so I should be fine.

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Things I'm thinking about today:

1. Operation Offset - Or, Hey, let's not call off a stupid war that gets worse every day, let's cut programs that might actually help these displaced people. Fucking morons are running this country.

2. Does it scare anybody else that Bush is appointing one of his friends to be a Supreme Court Justice? And that she has no practical experience? Yes, she's better than I expected. But seriously, the parallel to this would be me being elected President and saying, you know what, I'm going to nominate Gushee for the Supreme Court instead of Avery. Jesus. The thought of Gushee on the Supreme Court is going to keep me up tonight, I just know it.

3. My toe itches, but if I take off my shoe to itch it I am going to stink up my office. Does this happen to other people?

4. Whatever happened to Sly and the Family Stone?

Some good advice to everyone

Do not watch The Upside of Anger.

Do not be fooled into thinking, oh, Kevin Costner plays a drunk, that must be entertaining.

This movie is two hours of hatred, whining, and putridness. Also, it's lazy. I can't emphasize how little I liked this movie, or how stupid I feel for watching it. The whole fucking thing.

Actual quote from the gf about 20 minutes into the movie: "You are going to hate this movie."

Another quote, this time from my insides? "This movie makes me want to poop myself."

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Things I care about today.

1. It's Friday, and that's a good thing, except when you have projects that need to be done by the end of the week.
2. But.. it is payday, so I'm rich.
3. At least until my car payment, car insurance, and mortgage/insurance/taxes are all taken out automatically on Monday. Baa.

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And in closing, by no means, at any time, should anyone ever, ever, ever watch The Upside of Anger.

A Modest Proposal (or maybe 2)

Here's what I would like today:

1. I would like to win the lottery, without having to deal with buying tickets.
2. I would like the dogface to learn how to walk on her front feet while juggling basketballs with her back feet.
3. I would like a pet monkey to be friends with the dogface.
4. I would like to be able to fall asleep at night.
5. I would like people who voted for George Bush to explain themselves to me in a way I can understand. I can accept the "I hated John Kerry" logic, if only for it's honesty.
6. I would like to be able to fly. Preferably w/o flapping my arms, but if I must I must.
7. I would like to be able to walk on my hands (just so the dog wouldn't feel weird)
8. I would like a baseball field in my backyard.
9. And a basketball court in my basement.
10. While I'm at it, a mt range in the backyard would be nice, but only at low altitude. Obviously I don't want to mess up my baseball stats.
11. I would like a sugar covered molasses donut.
12. I would like to see my grandparents when they were my age.
13. I would like to have the willpower to read War and Peace.
14. And the intelligence to understand it.
15. I would like to be considered for the Nobel Prize for Peace.
16. I would like to be impressed by my generation.
17. I would like the ability to teleport anywhere in the world, without having to ask Scotty.
18. While we're on the Star Trek thing, I would like Vulcan ears. But just for a day, they look like they might be prone to ear infections.
19. I would like a maid.
20. I would like to own a small island in the south pacific with all the amenities.
21. Especially hammocks with cup-holders.
22. I would like to be immune to mosquitos.
23. I would like to be able to perform a triple-lindy.
24. I would like to be the catcher for the New York Yankees.
25. Seriously, the pet monkey. The dog is lonely for Christ's sake!
26. A pooper scooper for monkeys. Just in case it's not house trained.
27. An ashtray for the monkey. Just in case it smokes cigars like Lancelot Link.

That's it for today I guess, I'm sure I'll want more tomorrow.

back from another land

OK, so I didn't write a blog yet this week, as I was away at a conference in DC. It was a good conference, but I was glad when it was over. DC is a bizarre place, but I kind of like it. Besides the fact that it is the most expensive place I am aware of, there is a ton to do. We got there early, as it was cheaper to fly in on Saturday than on Sunday. So I got the chance to go to the Museum of Natural History on Saturday (Hope Diamond = Big Fucking Rock), and the new WWII Memorial and the Museum of American History on Sunday. The WWII Memorial was very nicely done, lots of water and marble, sitting just behind the Washington Memorial, and to the right of the Jefferson Memorial. The American History Museum was good. Their exhibits ranged from Brown vs. Board to Ella Fitzgerald to the Presidents. Looking through the row of presidents, there was one who looked out of place, less dignified, than the rest of them. See if you can guess who I mean.

Anyways, the conference was good. Lots of hobnobbing and politicking, plenty of beers andexpensive-ass food. ham sandwich + iced tea = $12, plate of spaghetti + glass of water = $17, cup of coffee 5 bucks, and there goes the per diem. Glass of Yeungling beer off the tap, $6.25. Cosmopolitan = $10. Bottle of Bud = $5. It was nice to drink the hometown beer again though, it had been a while.
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On to other things...

So I see Goody is once again concerned about his "manliness" and boobs. Also, to agree with John, Goody, for christ sake, even you can drink more than one beer in an hour of football. And, that's your only beer a week? Jesus. It looks like Johnson and I are going to have to make an emergency stop in your neck of Brunswick to save you. This requires beer die.

It appears that John got out of roofing with beer, but is tired and needs coffee. I hear you. The GF had to be at work at an obscene hour of the day today, and apparently forgot to make coffee. Thus, I am without coffee today. I did manage to make my own sandwich, but it was hard. Had to cut the roll and everything, but thankfully, still have all my fingers.

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Things I'm thinking about today.

1. The keynote for our conference was Jonathan Kozol, author of several books, most recently Shame of America. He basically spoke about how the public schools of America have been resegregated, and are in fact, as seperate as they have ever been. He was fairly persuasive, but after I finish reading his book I am going to have to read up this some more.

2. The most unifying thing about the conference, to me, was race. The people I talked to, largely african american, feel that there is absolutely no getting around race when you talk about the aftermath of Katrina. I have to say, I fear that we might have seen faster response times and less deaths if it was poor white people dying instead of poor, largely black people.

3. Yankees and the Sox, September, 1 game apart, season ends on a three game series in Boston. Does it get any better than this? Even if the Yankees are relying on the genetic mutation that is Randy Johnson?

4. MVP or not, doesn't matter. Ortiz is a monster, and he is a much bigger part of the Sox than Arod is of the Yankees. In an important at-bat, Ortiz is the last person I want to see come up (followed by Damon and Nixon, and only then Manny.) For the Yankees, in a clutch spot I think most Sox fans would say they are most scared of Sheffield, followed by Jeter, with Matsui/Arod/Bernie all at about the same.

5. That said, the Cy Young this year should be Mariano Rivera.

Crash

So I'd been hearing a buzz about this movie Crash, and added it to my netflicks list. The GF and I finally got around to watching it last night, and were stunned. Before I get any further, watch this movie when you have some time to kill afterwards.

This movie isn't easy to watch. It's largely about racial issues in LA, but it is also about how nobody is all bad or all good. Even the worst character in this movie, played by Matt Dillon, has highly redeemable characteristics. Crash is one of those movies that takes a couple scenes from a a bunch of different people whose lives are intertwined in LA. Some are cops, some criminal, some both. (There's also a TV director, a District Attorney, and Tony Danza.)

I know, that sounds sucky. Trust me though, you want to see this movie. I'm not sure how to describe it other than to say that at one point the gf and I were actually holding our breaths to see what happened next, hoping that we were wrong.

I've watched a shit-ton of movies in my life, and very rarely do I actually care what happens to the characters. This movie was an exception.

In defense of reading

Yeah, so I was busy not working hard yesterday and I forgot to blog it up. I think I'm going to be throwing out quick reviews of books or movies, just because I can, so you get a twofer today.

In response to Goody not reading, sorry, I just don't buy it. In my opinion, if you don't like to read, you haven't found the right book yet. (By the way, when I say read I include audio books Goody, your ears still work don't they?) For me, the first book I read was Charlie and the Chocolate Factory when I was 5 or 6. That book taught me to love to read. For me, there is no better way to escape than to read a great book. I love movies, but very rarely is there a movie that I can get as sucked into as I can the average book. You always hear about "movies not being as good as the book." Well, it's true. If a movie is better than a book, than it generally means that book sucked donkey balls.

People should read more for multitudes of reasons. In my history class the other day, the professor asked who Horatio Algar was. No one besides me and the prof knew. Fine. He then asked if anyone knew had read anything by Nathanial Hawthorne. No one answered. I fear for a generation that is incapable of drawing the parallels between the puritanism of the Scarlet Letter and the Republican "moralism" of today. In fact, that lack of ability to draw a parallel explains quite a bit to me about the last couple elections.

I have a theory about how Al Gore lost an election on a blowjob he didn't even receive, but that's another blog, for 6 years ago.

I am in complete agreement with Goody on the fact that a lot of times I would rather get stuff done around the house than sit down and read or sit down and watch tv. Still, just about every day I make time to sit down at the counter and at least read the headlines of the papers, and most days I read the whole paper. I can't stand watching the news, so if I didn't read the paper I would have no clue what's going on today.

I really think that a big reason people don't read as much as they should is because they feel they need to finish the book. Fuck that. Start a book if you're interested in it, stop it when you're not. I'm willing to bet that eventually you'll find books that suck you in and you make time for. Even you Goody.

Grinding it out

No goody you pervert, I'm not talking about rubbing one out with sandpaper. (Although, hey, worked for Pinocchio!)

No, I'm talking about those days at work when you just don't have your A game, but just have to get shit done anyways. It could be due to hangover, lack of sleep, stupidity, anything. (In my case today, I seem to be working on a combination of all three.) Still, due to deadlines, procrastination, or upcoming leaves from work, you really have no choice but to be productive. I can't speak for other jobs, like say Liz's, where lives are actually at stake when work isn't completed, or the gf's, where there is a classroom of little ones staring at her all day, but in my job it can be very easy not to get a damn thing done on certain days. The reality of it is, I'm the only that would know if I've legitimately been slacking off, or if things are just going slow on a certain phase of a project with good cause.

So days like today can be tough. I'm basically working only through my own motivation, on a long-term project, on a day where all I really want to do is clock-watch. Yet, somehow, I've gotten quite a bit done today so far. (At least, until I started writing this...) These next two hours are the the worst of the day though, no matter what. Either the clock is frozen at the 2:30 point for an eternity, or I'm working on something that needs to get done by the end of the day, it's 2:30, I've got time, and then BAM! it's 5. Right now, I can't decide which day it is yet, but I'm leaning towards the first.

Book I'm reading right now that probably interests only me:

The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell
Interesting book about all the factors that go into social fads. Also about the correlation between viruses and social fads, or the doubling effect. If you like this sort of thing it's easy reading and not to long. No pictures though Goody, sorry.

Back in the saddle again

Yup, I'm taking a class.

I know, I know, I wasn't much of a student the first time around. "Students" go to class. "Students" do their homework. "Students" don't prostitute themselves for C's. Bahhh. "Students" also couldn't play 14 straight hours of beer die if the situation dictated it. Not, of course, that I would ever have considered such a thing.

Well, I'm hoping back on the wagon. Work pays for the classes, which wasn't a good enough reason to take any my first couple (5) years on the job, but now I'm at the level where I can't make any more money or get any more promotions until I have at least one more degree.

Now, in my experience, promotions lead to more responsibility and harder work, and that's not really what I'm shooting for. More money though...

So I'm back in class, but since I didn't want to leap in headfirst, I'm dipping my toes in. Yes, I am taking a 100 - level class. Or, if you will, a "Holy shit freshman are stupid" class. Before class started today I had to listen to two girls talk about how much they paid for their Gap Jeans. That was fun, but not as much fun as the blank looks that went around the room whenever the Prof used a big word. "Technological Determinism" has apparently not made it to the dorm quite yet.

Still, the class is actually interesting so far, we'll see if that keeps up.

Problems I have faced today:

I forgot to eat my potato salad before lunch, so now it's been sitting on my desk for four hours and seems to have congealed a bit. Is this bad?

Some sleep for the weary

Finally, finally, slept last night. This might sound like nothing to some people, but for me, this is an achievement. Before that I hadn't really slept hard for weeks. I've always been like this, not sleeping soundly for extended periods of time, and then having a body shut down for a long sleep. Haven't had one of this in a while, but if I hadn't finally slept last night I could feel one coming on. After my conference next week, I'm guessing that I'll need a nice 12 hour sleep to feel like a human being again.

So what's the topic for today? So far, Goody's talked about his lack of a golf game (Too bad diaper changing's not a sport, huh Goods?) and John has... No John yet today. Personally, on Monday's I'm not really ready to tackle anything too grueling, so I was thinking, ahh, nope I wasn't thinking at all, I was staring out the window.

Watched some football this weekend, from the games I saw it looks like the Jets are going to be pretty piss poor and the Giants are going to be alright. Yes, Eli threw two interceptions, but he looked a lot better than he did last year. At least he didn't look like he was going to cry the whole time, which is an improvement.

I'd like to write about my fantasy football team, but I think I might even put myself to sleep (hmmm might have to try that next insomnia spell....) Suffice to say that I lost this week in one league and won in another.

I'm told that as I own a house and a cock that I need to have projects and lists for them. Well, I am less ambitious than Goody, and have already built a flagstone patio this year. (Ingredients: 1/2 ton 3/4 inch gravel, 2 tons stone dust, 1 pallet ME black slate flagstones, 1 shovel, 1 loam rake, 1 push broom, one hose, rinse and repeat.) So my projects for this winter are going to consist of not outspending myself so I can afford to heat the house. I'll mix in small projects like building some bookshelves and the current project, building a closet for myself. Somehow I've found myself w/o a closet since the gf moved in, strange that.

Ingredients for Closet/Shelving unit;

2 4x8 sheets of 3/4 inch birch plywood (Why birch? Why not?)
1 porter cable router, borrowed
1 bostich finsh nailer, plus compressor (Just kidding)
1 hammer
47 nails
1 trim saw, cordless
1 packet of presson laminate to make the ply look smoov like me

3 Things I'm thinking today:

1. Johnny Damon is a caveman
2. Randy Johnson may be the ugliest human being ever.
3. The. Ugliest. Human. Being. Ever.

Gas... rhymes with Ass!!!

So I'm with Goody on this one John, how talking about the price of gas could possibly not turn political I'm just not sure. Since I drive about 1/4 mile to work every day, this simply does not impact me that much. It does irritate me that gas companies have supposedly shown a record profit while raising prices, but it reassures me that there 45 out of 50 District Attorneys are banding together to look into it. If career lawyers and politicians can't fix what's broke, who can?

I suppose in this day and age you just can't expect to trust the prices set by huge international corporations, but what's the alternative? Nationalizing oil? Do you really trust the feds to deal with this sort of thing? Hell, they can't even maintain the price of a postage stamp.

Still, I will give the feds the benefit of doubt (which they certainly haven't earned) and hope that they will figure out what's going on with this inquiry that the AD's are starting up. In a similar vein, I'll give George Bush the benefit of the doubt and guess that he actually does know how to tie his own shoes. (Can't you just hear it now, "Daddy, Karl... Can you come tie my shoes? Dick? Somebody help me I keep tripping...)

On to more interesting topics, i.e. the fact that Goody tips by breast size. That's fantastic. Does this apply even if you have a male waiter? I mean, if your guy needs a serious man-bra, do you splash him an extra dollar? I bet you do.

Things of interest to me today: Cheetos and chimpanzees.

Shrub vs. Mother Nature

John boy has a blog now, and no surprises here, he's gone all political on us.

I'd love to play devil's advocate here, but I can't. In fact, I started writing about how we can't blame shrub for a natural disaster. But then, I stopped. Quite a bit of this is his fault, if only because he is the Commander in Chief, and the buck (supposedly) stops there. I pin the blame more directly on the department of Homeland Security.

How is it that we aren't prepared for disasters? What else is this agency for?

Should it not have been noticed, by someone, looking for vulnerabilities that terrorists might look for, that hey, New Orleans is in danger! I talked to a friend the other day, and he told me that his Meteorology class at UMPI, ten years ago, was taught that New Orleans was a disaster waiting to happen. This was not a secret.

As far as oversight goes, our fearful leader has proven that he will pass on corporate favors as he sees fit, at any opportunity. It's no secret that he is a friend of big business. What is equally clear is that he is a vengeful bastard. Dems (or moderate Republicans) that have stood up to his Fearfulness in the past have faced, for example, military base closings that cause thousands of job cuts in their home states. Wonder what will happen to the Reps and Sens that demand accountability?

I'm taking this base and I'm going home.

Can we have a moment of silence for Lloyd McClendon? Yes he lost quite a few games the last few years. But, to be fair, he had to deal with quite a bit of this... Sorry Joe, just couldn't let that go without a comment.

(Wrote this yesterday, but forgot to put it up, so you get two for the price of one...

Tuemonday

Why is it that Tuesday's feel the need to jump on the long weekend grenade and act like Monday? It's just not nice.

Sorry about the long layoff, but I was at meetings and camp from Thursday on, and didn't feel the need to update. Had a great weekend, caught up on reading and eating, just didn't catch up on sleep. Actually had moments of productivity as well, so it was a good weekend all around.

Had our fantasy football draft Sunday afternoon, good timing boys, let's have the draft in the middle of a long weekend. Still, a good time was had, apparently, a few of the drafters had a bit too good of a time before the draft if you know what I mean, judging by the draft results. I particularly enjoyed the fact that Goody had another "Technology Malfulnction" and drafter two quarterbacks with his 2nd and 3rd picks. Good times, good times. Also enjoyed the fact that he had to take a timeout in the middle of the draft to wash the baby.

Not sure if I liked my team or not, I felt like I made a lot of "Oh, what the fuck" picks, because the people on either side of me literally picked every player I want right before me. At least I did manage to draft one drug dealer (J. Lewis) so the day wasn't a complete loss.

responsibility takes it up the ass...

It seems like I'm at an age where I'm supposed to be more responsible than I want to be. From recent conversations with many of my friends, this seems like a common theme. For some, it's the new feeling of owning a home or a small child or both. For others, it's the hunt for a career, or, failing that, a satisfying job.

Does anyone really have a truly satisfying job? I'm trying to think of anyone I know who actually doesn't complain about their job. My brother comes close, but he lives in LA, so his judgement is obviously questionable.

I constantly waffle between career choices. At times I want to work for the programs I work for know. I am working my way up the ladder in a way, although I have gone as far as I can without at least one more degree. Other times I think that I would like to work in business, but then I think about the horror of having a cubicle and get claustrophobic.

As far as having children go, I really can't see that happening. I've come a long way in the last few years, but it's still best for all if my shoes don't have laces, and I leave the house with my fly down as often as not. My foresight is so weak that I'm constantly amazed when eating my lunch at 10:30 leads to hunger at 2:30, and starvation by 5:30. This is the person that's going to have a kid? Not likely. Talk to me in 20 years, maybe then I'll have the maturity needed.

On second thought, better make that 30.

Procrastination mode commenced

Had a good weekend this time around. Bunch of folks up at camp, couple hundred beers drank, many lawn games played, and yes, the return of beer die to my life. All that seems like a long time ago though, as I sit in my office staring at my (2) monitors and seemingly endless lines of error-ridden code. Last time I try to do anything difficult on a Friday before a weekend up at camp.

Anyhoo, today was the first day for the gf at her new job. I'm sure she's doing fine, as she's much more friendly than myself. In a way, I'm envious of her. I remember my first days at work, and the excitement and worry that came with them. I've been doing my job for 5 years now, and there are very few days that I get either excited or worried. (Unless, of course, our fearless (fearful?) leader in the White House decides to cut funding for our programs again.)

Which leads me to a discussion I had this weekend with a couple friends who are in the midst of trying to figure out what they're going to do for a career. I'm fortunate in a way, as my career is kind of happening while I try figure out what I want to do when I grow up. I am constantly amazed by the previous generation, and their ability to do the same things for their entire lives. My father has worked the same job for 30 plus years, and has neved talked about the boredom that I feel some days.

forecast for tonight: As apparently a tornado hit the house while we were gone, tonight is going to be a night full of cleaning. Wahoo.

mental long weekend

Is there anything worse than the last few hours of work before you leave for a weekend you're looking forward to? I'm sitting here, pretending that I can write code, when all I'm really thinking about is that I have to remember to pack a towel this time. I mean, I have a hard enough time concentrating on work anyways without the thoughts of inner tubes and pbr, bocce and koob, barbecuing and more drifting through my head.

Like Goody, I also have a litany of things to do around the house. And many of them really need to be done pretty soon. Unlike Goody, I'm not working on them. In fact, I only cut half the lawn this week. Why? Because I'm lazy?

Well... That could be a factor. But I prefer to think that my lack of productivity comes from the realization that summer only lasts so long, so I need to enjoy it while I can. The amount of times more that I am going to want to dive off the dock this year is limited, so while I can, I am going to put off the work that I don't get paid for.

Yes, that might mean that the hot water faucet in the bathroom needs a wrench to work right now, and yes, that means the shelves in the guestroom haven't even been measured out yet. It most certainly does mean that the winterizing of the lawn is going to have to wait until, oh, I dunno, I have a lawn made of something other than weeds.

Forecast for this weekend:

Partly drunk with a chance of silly

hot young milf home alone

My email is giving me a complex.

Everytime I log in to my email I'm told:

1. I have a limp dick,
2. Which is too small.
3. I need a new Rolex, and
   
4. I'm fat.

Now, this is a problem, but apparently not a huge problem as there are:

1. An abundance of horny girls in my area
2. hot, horny milfs just waiting for me
3. naked celebrities just waiting for action

What's a boy to do? I'm trying to work, and all I can do is think about these "hot, asian nymphos waiting to be tag-teamed..."

It was almost a relief to be told,

1. "We make screen t-shirts for cheap,"
   
2. Or, "Make Millions with our Stock Tips," or
   
3. "Steve, get off your email and get some work done!!!"
   

Oh wait, that last one was for real. Crap.

the end of the world as you know it

Well I finally got my shit together and cancelled cable. It was harded than I expected it to be, and I'm not just talking about finding the phone to make the call. I've watched so much tv in the last few days that it feels like my brain has truly been sucked out my eyes. I called Adelphia, and hit a combination of a bazillion numbers, and finally got to talk to a real person. Not that she was that much of an improvement over the machine once I got to her.

First I had to explain why I wanted to cancel cable. Easy. "Too expensive and we don't watch it enough to be worth it." Well, no it's not quite that easy. The kind woman on the other end of the phone then proceeded to list off all of the options that were possible that would be less than what we were paying now, including, apparently, prostituting myself on the street corner. Like there's not a market for that in Orono.

After I finally convinced her that I didn't need any of the lesser channel packages, she pulls out the trump card. "Well at least get the basic 13 channel package so you can watch the news..." I almost snorted, but decided that a simple response of "We have rabbit ears, we'll be fine if we want to watch the news." was fine. Nope. My dear phone lady was very concerned that the reception wouldn't be good enough for me. Like I want to see the recent news clearly anyways, a little fussiness might make it more palatable.

So, as of Friday, we will officially be cable-less, just in time for the last of the Roger Moore Bond's, and the first rounds of the playoffs, and the fall sweeps seasons, and...

I think I'll live.

Tid bit nipply out there

Aghh it felt like fall this morning. Not that it wasn't nice out, because there wasn't a cloud in the sky. Rather, it was beautiful but slightly crisp, like a nice fall day. Unfortunately, I'm not done with summer yet so fall is just going to have to hold off a few more weeks. There is more floating to be done, more pbr's to be drank, more baseball to be ignored.

As Goody mentioned today, fantasy football starts up soon. Every year I wonder if I feel like playing again, and every year I do. Largely so I can talk shit to the other people in the league, which reminds me of a funny story from last year. Goody was sleeping at the wheel during draft times, and ended up with Steve McNair and the Patriot's Defense as his first two picks. Good times, good times. Needless to say, it wasn't long into the season before Goody's team was also sleeping at the wheel. I on the other hand came in second, largely on the performance of my boy horseface. Or as some like to call him, Peyton. As I had the last pick out of 14, the only reason Peyton was available is because Goody fucked up his pick. So, thanks Goody!

This year I plan to draft Randall Cunningham first, he usually puts up good numbers, right Goody?

booze, books, and bond

Well I had a semi-restful weekend, going up to camp with the pooch on Friday night. Caught up on some reading, did some work on the camp.

That was fun and all, but come Saturday night I was feeling a bit restless. So I travelled back to town and went out to Woodman's and the Blues Club. Played some pool at Woodman's, and then went and listened to a bluesy funk sort of band at the Blues Club. They were pretty good, but way to loud for that sort of band. I mean, I couldn't even hear what I was saying, never mind what the people around me were saying. Somehow I stayed out until 4, not really sure how that happened.

As a result, I spent most of Sunday laying down on the couch watching Bond, reading, or napping. Finished a book called "The Rule of Four." It was alright, kind of a DaVinci Code knock-off based on the Princeton University campus. Certainly wasn't higher-order reading, but with the headache I had, any reading was a lot to ask.

Watched Goldfinger and Live and Let Die in between and around Little League baseball and the Padres vs. the Braves. I was amazed at how dated the Roger Moore Bond's seem to be, at least from those two. Largely, Roger Moore just looks like a pussy. Remember that scene where the two little Asian girls defended him from the karate school? It was believable that Moore needed the little girl protection. It's been a while since I've seen a Timothy Dalton Bond movie, but right now I'm leaning towards Pierce Brosnan being the second best Bond. We'll see though, Octopussy is on tonight, and as I've been way to lazy to cancel cable yet, I might just have to catch a bit more Bond this evening.

Oh Sweet, Sweet Friday

Oh Sweet, Sweet Friday, day of rest at work. Kick back, turn on computer, don't think too hard, day's over before you know it.

What's this, Mr. Bossman? You want that report today? But, but, it's Friday.

Sonuva....

Guess I have to work after all.

At least tomorrow's Saturday, and I'm in for... Oh wait for it, a long weekend of partial cloudy with a chance of thunderstorms and a high of 72. Sweet. It'll probably be 90 degrees and sunny Monday.

What's this? A day for humping?

Ah thank god Wednesday is over with. I'm starting to thing that it's the worst day of the week, yes, even worse than that damned Monday.The problem is, When Wednesday morning comes around, all I can think of is the fact that I have three more days of work! Yes, Tuesday mornings mean that there are four more days of work, but I can at least still vaguely remember the weekend. By Wednesday, it's all I can do to remember my own name, never mind remembering whatever level of drunkenness I got myself into the weekend before.

Thursdays? Not a problem. Thursdays mean that with a well timed "illness" I could be on my way to a long weekend in an emergency situation. Plus, Thursdays are often poker nights, which mean that I get to Friday with enough of a "wow I'm really fucking tired" buzz that its over before you know it. Also, on the off chance that I've won a bunch the night before, there's always the possibility of me floating through Friday's work day with a "I wonder how the gf is going to help me spend this" glow.

Misunderheard

Goody, Goody, Goody.

I'm not sure that you understood what I was going for, but I do appreciate the vote of confidence. When I said I wanted to go out and blow some money to make my wallet feel younger, I was thinking more of last call shots, pitchers of see-through beer, and lap dances than I was of Bed, Bath and Beyond.

Anyhoo

You know, it's not that easy to find something to write about every day. Especially since I live a life of redundancy and boredom. I suppose I could talk about the fact that the house needs to be cleaned, or that the lawn needs to be mowed, but I'm pretty sure I covered that already. Or, I could write about the fact that I woke up to a tongue bath from the dogface, but I'm pretty sure you all knew that already.

In fact, I'm pretty sure that everything that's happened to me so far today has happened to me before. Is that pathetic?

Yup.

The only problem is, I'm pretty sure that if something truly new happened I might have a heart attack, and that would just be embarrassing.

Is it really only Tuesday?

Good lord the weeks get long when you actually have to work.

I could swear that there have been a couple other days mixed in already this week, but my calendar says my mind is lying to me again. This happens a fair amount.

Read Goody's blog today about work boredom and the like, and I have to say, I hear ya goody. I'm now well into my fifth year in this job, and there are many days when it seems like I could do my job with my eyes closed. Actually, there's a possibility I just tried that for the last 5 minutes, I'm a little blank on what I just did.

Back to non-work talk, because, well, even if you don't find your work boring everybody else does.

Got all sorts of projects planned for the next couple months, building bookshelves, closets (I seem to have misplaced all of my closet space recently), redoing the dining room, etc. Judging by Goody's model of building a table, I could be 35 by the time I'm done. In reality, I'm just trying to beat the snow, and not go broke.

What this brings my to is the realization that a true test of age is what you spend your money on. Used to be, I'd blow a bunch of money at the bars, Itunes, and Best Buy, and they just suck it up and eat cheap until the next pay check. Now my big expenses are mortagage, car, 15 different types of insurance, and feeding the dogface. I think I might have to go on a bender just to make my wallet feel younger.

Ahhh, sweet, sweet, vacation.

Freshly back from my week of sunning in the lake with an ice cold domestic, working on my tan and napping away afternoons, I turned on the television last night to find out...

Terrell Owens is STILL on the Sportscenter.

I can't express how much I don't care about this.

It does, however, bring me to a very important point. It's hard to be a sports fan these days. OK, stop laughing. Seriously, seriously, hard to enjoy watching sports these days. There's just no mystique anymore. I mean, we now know why the sluggers can hit that far (Viagra, obviously) and how football players can take those hits and bounce right up (they're all clearly insane.)

It used to be that sports could be a vacation for real life. You could turn on the tv and watch Mattingly's sweet swing, or Boggs rap another double off the wall, and it would be a refuge from the commute to work, or the shittiness of another day of school. Now, you need a law degree (or at least a subscription to Court TV) to follow sports. I now know what salary arbitration means, and I understand why the Sox would consider trading Manny despite the fact that he's one of the best hitters in the game, and has nice hair to boot (plus, the Manny Ramirez fielding highlights dvd will be a best-seller someday.)

What is there as a release from real life now? There's more reality shows than comedies, and none of them will ever be the equal of a show like Cheers (which was funny without being mean.) Watch MTV for five minutes and you see more T and A than you used to see on the late night showing of skinemax. Where's the mystery? Poker on tv is now mainstream, there are more fixit shows than there used to be channels (none as good as This Old House, by the way.)

Sports, in a lot of ways, are worse. I know now that Kirby Puckett was not just a delightfully round centerfielder for the Twins, but a serial groper. Barry Bonds is a prick, Ricky Williams a pothead. Paul Pierce is a 12-year old girl, Rafeal Palmeiro can't get it up (or out) without meds, OJ Simpson is not a funny character in a movie, or the spokesperson for Avis. Kobe Bryant can't keep his pants on, but at least he could afford to buy off the his wife, his victim, and the state of Colorado.

So...

the gf and I have decided to cancel cable. Cost was a factor, but a minor one. The real problem is that there are 200 channels of nothing that are sucking our brains away. And I for one, don't have enough brains to lose mine watching MTV. Or Sportscenter for that matter.

Don't worry about us though, we'll still get the newspaper, so I'm sure I'll still manage to be disgusted by the goings on around us.

Getting old on schedule?

Seriously, what is this?

Since when was there a schedule for this sort of thing? I was under the impression that I could coast through life gradually shifting from one sort of immaturity to another, and end up drooling on myself without ever having gotten "old." Oh wait. I already drool on myself.

Speaking of drooling on yourself, is anyone else looking forward to retirement already? I think that we should be able to be retired when we're young, and capable of enjoying it, and then forced to work when we're older. I mean, how many old people do you know that can sleep late? Shouldn't they be the ones that have to get up early for work? Doesn't this just make sense? I would be so much more willing to work for half my life if I could be assured that I would get 20 years of doing whatever the hell I want at the end of it. As it is, I'll probably retire and get hit by a bus. Goddamn buses.

So when we get old, do you think they're going to have playstations in the nursing home instead of shuffle board? I mean, when do you get too old for playstation? Am I going to start liking Matlock? These are the sorts of things that keep me up at night.

Getting all serious all of a sudden

I was planning on being serious for today, following Goody's lead, but I couldn't really do it. Just not in the mood, really.

In other Goodwin-related news, Goody managed to find his hammer but by the time he did it was time to go to bed. Seriously Goodwin, Just finish the damn table already, the lawn needs mowing. I don't want to have to hear about it when Amy smacks your ass around for having the only house in your neighborhood with a jungle.

In completely unrelated news, the gf and I are introducing our parents this weekend. Why? Good question, I think I was drunk when the topic came up. Should be interesting, if it gets too interesting, I can always escape outside with the furball and play fetch. Or as she calls it, chase after me and wrench the slobbery ball out of my mouth only, and repeat.

Forecast for this evening:

All we're doing tonight is cleaning up in preparation for the arrival of the fam this weekend. I think I need a drin

Once Again Mistaken

So I thought that we couldn't lose any worse than we already had this year, but I was mistaken. We forfeited due to the fact that only 6 people on our team showed up, an all new low. We scrimaged instead, and of course I had my best day at the plate going 2-3 with three rbis. Needless to say I will be 0-3 tonight, probably with multiple ks.

This is our last game of the season, so I don't feel particularly bad about writing some more baseball. Actually, I seem to have been blessed with an almost complete lack of guilty conscience. This balances me nicely with the gf, who feels guilty for just about everything. For instance, anytime the dogface wants something, she's getting it, and right quick. Anytime the dogface wants something from me, it better be a necessity for life, or it's only coming at my convenience. Unless what the dogface wants from me is to take a nap on the couch, in which case I am usually more than willing to help out.

Forecast for this evening:

Last day of baseball? 75% chance of cheap beer, and I'm going out on a limb to say: 50% chance of a win. The team we're playing is worse than us usually, but there's always the chance we're not going to have enough people.

When the Hell did August Happen?

Seriously, I went to sleep last night and it was June, woke up and it was August 2. Crazy shit man. I gotta lay off the peyote.

Not much to talk about today. It's going to be interesting to see if I can find anything to write about as this goes on. My life is simply not that interesting. I mean, I woke up, started working, took a shower, drank coffee, etc. That's it for more days than not. Tonight I'm playing baseball, which is fun for me, but not for anyone else generally. Unless you happen to have a skinny guy in tight pants fetish, in which case I'm your man.

Forecast for this evening:

I think we're going to ride our momentum from winning our last game into a moral victory of a 6-4 loss. Even using at my most optimistic I have a hard time thinking we'll beat a team that has beaten us by a combined 24-3. I'll settle for not embarrassing myself at the plate.

Weddings, fires, and goodwin

So I accidentally lit my hand on fire this weekend.

Makes you think I spent the weekend in an endless alcoholic daze, doesn't it? Well, as those who know me may know, I'm not scared of a beer or ten. But I actually was on good behavior this weekend. I kept a keg company for a little while, but managed not to do any keg stands. There was a sword fight involving lit tiki torches, but I was not a part of it. In fact, I'm pretty sure that I didn't even suffer from one hangover this weekend.

On to other things, one of which is a response to Goodwin, who writes here about blogs and why there stupid. (Irony intentional, I hope.)

As you can see, goody wonders why I would write a blog without writing about people that piss me off. Trust me, this will happen eventually. I just don't really give enough of a shit about most people to write about them. When my friends piss me off I think they generally know it almost immediately. If they don't, they're pretty unobservant. I will, however, not hesitate to mock my friends when they deserve it.

For example, Goody, in the first line of your blog you reference the single most annoying movie character of all time. Probably not a good way to start out. Also, Leave the thesaurus closed and on your desk. The headache those big words are causing you can't be worth it.

And finally, weddings. What is it that makes people feel people my age should be married? I know people, like Goody, who were married when they were 15. That's fine, he never wanted to make his own decisions in the first place. But why is it, everytime the gf and I go to a wedding, people ask us if we're next? Is there an easy answer to this question? Every time, we both say, strongly, "NO WAY IN HELL!" And then we have to stand there awkwardly while people reptend like they're not trying to figure out if we're having trouble in our relationship. Seriously, can't two happy, not ready to get married, normal people in their mid-twenties, just not get married right away? Marriage is forever! I've only been able to tie my own shoes for a few years, and you want me to make a commitment for 50 years from now! Doesn't seem like a good idea, does it.

Forecast for tonight:

50% Cleaning frenzy
50% nappy nap

Ego Beatings and Other Bar Stories

OK

So, I'm not a good foosball player. Those of you that have played with me in the past know that, particularly any that were around during the Water Street days. I'm better than I was then, but good never gets close to me. I have become a halfway decent defender though, or at least I have moments now.

Having said all that, I took a thorough stomping in foosball last night. I mean, our baseball team hasn't even lost this bad. I couldn't stop a single shot. At one point I decided to play one handed, and just concentrate on my beer, and I blocked more shots.

Ack.

I think I need to go to bar game camp. Ever since I stopped spending as much time in the bar, my pool game has gone down, my foosball game has gone down, and even the thought of playing beer die gives me a hangover. I mean, I had something like five beers last night, all of them of the see through variety, and my head is pounding right now, and I have a suspicious craving for bacon and egg sandwiches.

Forecast for this weekend:

25% sleeping on rocks
50% wiffle ball
99% sore body and liver on Sunday

Orono - The Bustling Metropolis

I managed to show not even a single solitary ounce of productivity last night. I won't go into the details of what I did, but leave it at the fact that it involved my couch and my ps2. I'd like to say that I drank a bunch of beer at least, but I opened up one and forgot to finish it. Sad.

So the Blues Cafe is finally opening up today. For those who haven't been in Orono in a while, that makes the second restaurant in as many months that has opened up, yes, we now have options. In case you all forgot, the Blues Cage is right across from Ampersand's. Supposedly it's going to be fine dining. Not that I'm skeptical or anything, but fine dining in Orono seems like a tough fit. I mean, formal attire for Orono is a clean Birkenstock. They are serving a real breakfast though, including eggs benedict, so I am sure that I will be a frequent paying customer.

Forecast for this evening is for a chance of bar crawl, with 75% chance of see through beer. Barrign bar crawl, 25% chance my hands become numb with playstation.

mea culpa, mea culpa

The gf has ordered me to inform everybody that "I am not the word of God" and also that I had my movies messed up and that it was Legally Blond that is the five star movie, and not The Wedding Planner. I wasn't even aware they were different movies, I just thought they were a continuation of one big shitty romantic comedy. Apparently I was mistaken.

So I am on my own tonigh, no furball, no gf, and in all likelihood, no dinner either. Damn. One night of bachelorhood midweek. One night to go out on the town, raise hell, sow the wild oats...

OK, so I'll probably play playstation all night and go to bed early. What of it?

Watched Say Anything last night for about the bazillionth time, and was struck, once again, by the fact that Ione Skye walks like a duck.

Thought about shaving my head last week, but I was a little worried about what I'd find. I was talking to a co-worker, and she said that she didn't know her husband was balding until he shaved his head. Now, I've already resolved to go bald with pride, and never resort to the comb-over, but how do you know when it's time to go bald? I mean, when does it switch from Receding Hairline to No Hairline?

Forecast for tonight:

%80 Champagne of Beers + PS2
%50 Champagne of Beers + Nappy Nap

Cleaning House, la la la

Cleaned up a little bit around the house yesterday. Would have cleaned more, but I got distracted by a bottle of wine and dinner, and motivation for anything but a nap was nonexistent after that. Also signed up for netflix, so I spent a large part of the night ranking movies that the gf and I had seen. I have the feeling that any database that looks at our rankings might think that we are schizophrenic. (I don't care what anyone says, there is no way the Wedding Planner should have the same amount of stars as the Godfather.) So it's interesting to see the recommendations we were given, number one was...

Princess Diaries 2

Needless to see, I will cut off my own foot and feed it to the animal before that particular movie works its way to my house. Next three movies on our queue...

Dial M for Murder
Lemony Snicket: A Series of Unfortunate Events
The City of Lost Children

See if you can guess who chose which movie.

Does this mean the death of cable in my house? It certainly gets us closer. I went to pay my cable bill last month and just about had a heart attack. All we have is the entry level of digital cable, and it costs us $75. Not even HBO or Skinemax!!!! I feel so used.

Forecast for tonight

99% chance the dogface waits until I fall asleep before taking jumping up into bed and cuddling with the softie sleeping next to me.

75% chance of me waking up to puppy tail in the face at 5.

65% chance furball will mistake, "Get the fuck off me you mangy mutt" for "Oh it's five in the morning? I can't think of anything I'd rather do than wrestle with a dog that's just been licking her own bum hole!"

What's a free weekend?

Forgot to write in on Friday, and just about forgot today as well. Not a lot to report back, that the water in the camp is now on and this was sure as hell a nice weekend to be up there. Read the first half of Conferacy of Dunces, good book so far, not really like anything I've read before. No pictures, sorry Goodwin. Also spent some time floating in the innertube drinking tall boys.

Looks good up there, the guy who did the work knows what he's doing, and he took some care. Big improvement on the last guy that helped us out, who basically just took a big dump under the green camp and charged us for it.

Split our double header yesterday against the Hermon team. It was a weird day, they beat us 10 - 0 in the first game, and we got them 12-7 in the second, with neither game being as close as the score. I caught the first game, with a guy pitching who hadn't thrown in three years. Fortunately he remembered how to throw his fastball over my head, and his curveball in the dirt. At least the weather was nice.

Second game was basically over after the second inning when the score was 12-0 good guys. I'm not sure we had scored that many runs all season, so that probably means we're done for the year. Of course, we only have two games left, so that shouldn't be too painful. Unless I catch again.

Forecast for tonight - 75% Champagne of Beers, with a high possibility of house cleaning in the late afternoon, early evening. Unless of course, I can avoid it, in which case a 65% chance of a nap on the couch comes into play.

God Have Mercy on the State of Maine

This was the response from my friend Chris from High School when he found out that I am responsible for the care and feeding of a live animal. This is the same Chris who thought that we were going to eat at Rat's when he came to UM to visit. Also the same Chris that once had a microwave stolen from him during a party he had at Northeastern.

----

Did you hear that Denver is banning pit bulls?

Or the problems that New Zealand is having with karma?

Dave Barry's Ebay item of the day

----

Anyhoo, enough links for today.

The following is actual dialogue from our game last night.

----
me (catching): Thank god there's a beer store between here and my house.
batter: There's a strip club between here and my house.
[Several pitches go by. I mean, like, to the backstop by.]
me: Yup, you got me beat.
----

Forecast for tonight's poker night: 6 beers is gonna cost me 30 bucks

Ass whoopins to commence shortly

I'm not sure why waking up is such a traumatic thing some days. It could have something to do with my dog doing cannonballs onto my stomach and then kidney punching me after I curl into the fetal position, but I'm not even sure that's it.

On my way to work I had to stop and buy some batting gloves, as I had officially destroyed the last pair last weekend. Not sure how, as I didn't hit a hell of a lot, but whatever. The old pair was severely funky in a "ooh what died in there" sort of way, so it's not a bad thing that I bought new gloves. So I dropped 60 bucks on a case of game balls and a pair of mizuno batting gloves (cost to manufacture: three dollars), and I'll probably go 0-4 anyways, unless the gloves have secret robot eyes that can help me lay off of the high fastball and the low curveball.

I am now sitting in my office, dripping sweat on the keyboard. Fortunately I once again forgot my deodorant, so everybody wins today.

Forecast for this evening: 75% bruised ego, with a chance of thrown helmets. 25% chance of a victory, if other team forgets location of field.