Reasons why this winter should blow me

OK, first off, a quick note in defense of the Celtics. For those of you not paying attention, the Celtics have won three of their last four with two starters out, and a third playing on one leg. Last night, that third didn't play at all, and Paul Pierce was out for long stretches in foul trouble, and the Celtics beat the Jazz by 20. I realize that there may only be three Celtics fans left in the world, but just so the rest of you know, the Celtics are showing signs of a pulse.

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Back to the titled subject, Reasons why this winter should blow me:

1. No Snow. Look, if I wanted warm winters I'd live in Florida. I like changes in season, it keeps things fresh. Even when it's been cold this winter there's been no snow. I literally have ZERO snow right now. It's the end of February in Maine for fuck's sake.

2. The moron in charge has once again cut our programs, to "Save Money". Seriously, have we ever had a more incompotent president? I mean, is too hard for people to remember that when Clinton left office he might have taken the keyboards, but he left a budget surplus? This was only a few years ago people.

3. I've not been skiing yet. This is closely associated with number one, but that alone isn't enough of an excuse. Hopefully this will be remedied tomorrow, when I plan on coming down with a case of the "too sick to work must go skiing" bug that's going around. But as of yet, it hasn't happened yet. And one of the primary reasons I like winter is skiing.

4. Did pitchers and catchers report yet? For the first year that I can recall, I'm not excited about the upcoming baseball season. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because I don't plan on playing this year or maybe it's because I am completely fucking sick of Red Sox fans and they're incessant, illogical whining about Johnny Damon. Maybe all of this will change once I see the latest Fantasy Team that wears pinstripes this year, but I doubt it.

5. Money is tight. Apparently, and nobody told me this, buying a house is really expensive. I thought that I had planned everything, but apparently my math skills suck. The mortgage, home insurance, taxes... I was prepared for all of this. I wasn't prepared for the butt raping that is my oil bill, nor was I ready for Sewer, Water, blah blah blah. Last night, I went through and built a monthly budget spreadsheet to help control costs. That was fun.

6. Grant writing is fun. Look, I work for federal grant funded programs. We have to write grants to get our money. I can deal with this. We aren't allowed to use money from those grants to write those grants. I understand this too, unfair competition and all that. What I don't understand is why the University is to cheap to pay for our time while we write the grant. They make millions from these grants. They would have to pay roughly $7,000 in salary time to the three of us that worked on the grants. We give them 8 percent of our grant every year for, well, office space and the right to use their name on our letterhead. This amounts to, over the life of the grant, a bit less than 500,000. But the U won't pay for our salary time, so we have to use vacation time. In other words, in the last two months, I have been on vacation for four weeks of it, and in that four weeks, I have worked almost 300 hours. Let's just say that I've had better vacations.

So in closing, this winter can, as was said so eloquently in that oh so classic movie,

SUCK ME BEAUTIFUL

End rant. For now.

Is that a Goody I see?

First off, I gotta say, GOODY!!! Where ya been buddy! Way to get back on your game. Now keep it up.

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I like the theme of history and repeating our mistakes. It does seem like our country has a way of forgetting history.. Probably because of who's writing them, but that's another story. And another blog to be honest. If I start writing history, I'll still be writing two hours from now, and it's Saturday morning and I'd like to get shit done today.

Missing ASAP though, that's something I can relate to. Working at ASAP isn't something that can be described to people who weren't there when we were there. I still work in the same building, and when I walk upstairs I expect to see the same sort of thing. Loud music, debating, group work, that sort of thing. Now? It's a bunch of nerds sitting at keyboards not talking to each other.

When we were there, it did seem like some sort of a nexus of creativity. The theory behind ASAP was 1/3 learning, 1/3 teaching, 1/3 producing. By working like this, it seemed like we were able to stay at the cutting edge of technology, while remaining interactive with everyone else that was working there. Now? Comp Sci majors all. None of the trash talking that we had, none of the diversity of backgrounds.

I relate to what Goody's talking about in other ways too. I've been working my job now since April 2000. I've learned quite a bit, done quite a bit in that time. I generally do enjoy my job, and I think that the work we do is necessary. Still.. I have moments of being really sick of the same shit over and over again. I'm almost always sick of University politics. What are the options though?

Go work in corporate America? I'm sure I'd make more money, but I'm equally sure that I'd feel like a sellout.

Go back to school? Well, unlike some people living in New Zealand, I'm not sure that I can be a professional academic. I am going to start taking Master's classes soon, but largely because my job pays for them.

What are the other options? Apparently I'm not going to make millions playing for the Yankees, I don't like my odds of winning the Lottery, and there aren't any millionaires in my family that I can mooch off of. Back to the drawing board I guess...

Happy Hallmark Day, and an ode to the Olympics

Thankfully, the gf hates Valentine's Day with a passion, so I don't have to scrounge around and find out which insanely over-priced for one day piece of chocolate or flower will keep me out of trouble today. What a stupid "holiday."

Now don't get me wrong, I don't mind buying flowers for my lady friend. In fact, I'm a big believer of giving flowers for no reason other than I wanted to. As for chocolate, I try to bring candy bars with me every time I leave the house with the gf. This way, when she gets tired and cranky I can bribe her into sugar-induced happiness for at least as long as it takes to get home. (When I get tired and cranky like that, the gf starts looking for hot dog stands or bars, whichever comes first and preferably all at once.)

Plus, $50 bucks for 12 measly little flowers that usually cost $15 is simply a fucking rip-off.

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I love the Olympics. I know that they're overblown and jingoistic, and I just don't care.

I like that sports that aren't even close to being on my radar all of a sudden became Must See TV. I like trying to figure out if someone is a great cross-country skier or merely a good one. I love when someone absolutely nails their event for a gold, like when the French guy one the downhill with an absolutely perfect run one year after blowing out his knee. I like it even more when someone busts their ass in front of the home crowd, gets a bronze medal, and a standing ovation, like the Italian guy in the long speed skating event.

I like the luge. I'm not so hot on ice dancing or figure skating, but curling? Not sure why, but I like it. I love the fact that random countries completely dominate sports, and I love the fact that very often the person/team that wins was not the favotite to win.

I like how Bob Costas makes everything that happens seem like the most important thing that's ever happened, and I love the fact that unlike professional athletes, I know all of the Olympic athletes are actually trying.

Nothing like having a plan

For those of you who have known me for some time, it might surprise you to know that I am a bit of a neat freak and a planner. I know, I know, my dorm room was a shit hole. And granted, at no point was the Peach House what any normal person would call "clean." Unless Lizzy was up visiting, and then sometimes the bathroom got cleaned. Thanks Liz!

What I'm talking about is project planning or organization in, oh, let's say... Your workplace. At work, I plan carefully, building timelines and setting deadlines. When I'm allowed to. I do this, because I hate working under a time-crunch. To me, working under a time-crunch means that I'm more likely to fuck something up, and not catch it. Unfortunately, my boss thinks that he works best under a time crunch. For example, we are currently working on our renewal grants, which are due Tuesday. We've known that there was going to be a grant due this year for FIVE FUCKING YEARS!!!! Obviously, we aren't even close to getting done. Because my bss hasn't gotten his shit done, I am going to have to work this weekend. And possibly around the clock on Monday. Just like the last set of grants, where I had to work 100 hrs in a five-day week to get the grant out. Right now, we're actually behind where we were that week.

I love my job so much right now!

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In other news:

Hockey players gamble, Mark Cuban said something wacky in his blog, and parents of middle-schoolers are insane.

Now for the laughers.

Recently, the gf and I have been in the mood for comedies. Sounds easy, right? Go to netflix, reserve some comedies, and good to go. Well, we tried that. We got The 40-year old Virgin, Wedding Crashers, and Anchorman. All got rave reviews as laugh out loud hilarious. Over the past week or so, we watched them. And were, for the most part, very disappointed.

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Wedding Crashers

We'll start in order of the biggest disappointment. This movie didn't suck completely, there were funny moments, and there were boobies galore. The problem here was that this movie was lazy. They took a great premise for a movie, and sharted out this piece of recycled crap. It was like everyone in the movie was playing characitures of themselves, only without bringing the funny. As I write this, I'm trying to think of one thing that made me laugh. Can't do it.

Anchorman

OK. There were moments of funny in this movie. Not because of Ferrell, who was OK I guess. Not because of the Married with Children whore/daughter, whatever her name is.

N, the humor all came from Steven Carrell, the guy from Saturday night live. Everytime I laughed out loud it was because of him. The rest of it.. Was almost funny. Good premise, great sound track, it just wasn't quite all the way funny.

40-Year Old Virgin

I almost peed myself during this movie. I was laughing so hard that my stomach cramped up and tears were rolling down my face. Why was it so funny? Not sure. Maybe because it's characters were not complete assholes, just broadside shots of people that we all know. And at least the writers of this movie liked their characters.

Steven Carrell was great. Great. I think the last time I laughed this hard was when Spaceballs first came out. I was ten, and in the hospital after a skiing accident. I laughed so hard I popped a staple. ("Man, we ain't found shit." Now that was some funny shit.) Last movie they let me watch at that place.

If you haven't seen this movie yet, I can't recommend it enough. Wait through the first ten minutes or so, which are a little slow. I can't promise that everyone will like this movie, but I can promise that if you do, the scenes at the end might make a top ten funniest scenes list for me.

Wow, that was exciting

So. Pittsburg beat the curse of Slash, or was it Maddox, or was it O'Donnell? Not the best game I've ever seen, it could have been worse. At least there were a few exciting plays, and it came down to the end, sort of. Seemed like Seattle was getting jobbed a little bit with the calls, but none of them were game costing, I didn't think.

Anyways, if your name isn't Joe T this Super was more about the commercials and the music than anything. The game was fine. The pre-game with Stevie and friends was good, the half-time show was good. No boobies this year, which I think was a mistake.

As far as the commercials? They were good. Not great, but good. I liked the Budweiser table/refrigerator, and the Monster.com monkeys/jackasses was good. Actually, in the first half it did seem like there was a few right in a row that I laughed out lout at, but those were the ones that jumped out at me. Oh, and the godaddy.com Ad? Sucked.

All in all, I give this Super Bowl a solid C+. The game was certainly not a failure, but it certainly didn't bring it's A game.

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Somehow I forgot to post this yesterday. So there may be another one later today, but there may not as well.

OK, It's really Friday, right?

Thank god.

This is definitely one of those weeks when it's hard to watch the clock tick down til 4:30, when I can finally make the mad dash for the door. As it is, I don't punch the clock at my job, so I will be leaving as soon as Woodman's opens. (4:00) Leaving before the bar opens is just reckless on weeks like this.

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So we got the word, more or less. Bush's budget for 2006-2007 does not include any money for Talent Search and Upward Bound programs. We won't know for sure until Feb. 6 when the budget actually gets announced, but at this point, when you get word like this it very rarely changes. This means that the lobbying efforts begin again. Last year we managed to get money back on the House floor, so it's certainly possible that will happen again. Still, it would be nice if we were getting increases at some point.

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Plans for the weekend? I fully plan to not have a conscious thought if I can avoid it. Next week begins the next cycle of grant writing, hoo ahh.

And yes that was a Scent of a Woman reference.

Are we there yet?

At Goody's request, I'll abandon my John hat for the day, and talk about something else besides politics and the fact that our governent is being run by a hyperactive eyelid.

Met a couple of my friends for a beer yesterday after work. Needed to happen. This hasn't been my favorite week of all time, for no particular reason other than the fact that it sucked. So anyways, there I am drinking my Casco Bay Riptide Red, which is a fine beverage, only to realize in the middle of out conversation that I had no idea what day it is. No clue. And I was still on my first beer. Now, my tolerance isn't what it was back in the days of 30-pack marathons, but I haven't yet fallen to the point where one beer makes me forget what day it is.

So I asked my friend what day it was, thinking that it was Friday, but prepared for Thursday. You can imagine my shock when I found that somehow I was off by two days, and it was really Wednesday. I wanted to curl up in the corner and cry. As that wasn't really an option (I go to this bar often) I had to man up and drink another beer. Yup, that's right. Two beers on a school night. And, believe it or not, I didn't fall asleep on the couch when I got home.

Trust me, that's not a trend I'm looking to continue. In fact, I'm going to make it a goal to nap on the couch every day. Everybody's got to have goals, right?

State of the Onion

Ahh the pomp. Oh, the circumstance. Eek the tedium of a bunch of self-important politicians standing and applauding, occasionally interupted by a small little boy standing on a podium blinking and winking.

Yup, I watched the State of the Union. It was interesting, at least up until the point that it actually started. First off, Cindy Sheehan got arrested before the event even started. She was the guest of some congresswoman from California. Can you imagine that invitation?

" So, you're going to behave yourself, right? No screaming and yelling? No egging the president? You promise?"

Seriously, you have to respect Cindy Sheehan. She might be completely insane, but at least she's consistent.

The other interesting thing that happened before the State of the Union was that the GF got so pissed of at Shrubby that she stormed out of the room and started angrily doing dishes, Before he had even been announced! Of course, I'm just assuming it wasn't something I said.

The content was predictably dull. In fact, after the speech one of the pundits said that something like 48 out of 62 of the paragraphs could have been read by Clinton. I mean, seriously. Clinton was a Rhodes Scholar. He can read anything Bush can.

Seriously though, I'm guessing that the big portion of the speech was supposed to be the whole "the United States is addicted to oil" thing. First of all, no shit. Second of all, Bushy fucked up reading it! Shouldn't he have been practicing that portion above all others? I mean, seriously. What a dumb fuck.

Anyways, the best part of these is always the faces the senators make. You would think, with these being people in the public eye, I don't know, ALL THE TIME, that they would have some control over their facial expressions. Nope. My all time favorite is when they zoom in on Ted Kennedy when Bush is talking about education. Kennedy's face just turns redder, and redder, until he looks a little like a big scary strawberry. None of that this year though. They did zoom in on Hillary at one point, and she looked like she was going to die a painful death if she didn't take the shit she was brewing. And at another point, Collins and McCain laughed outloud at something said. Good stuff.

And once again, the Democrats dropped the ball. The Democratic response is an interesting new tradition, one that seems like it would be a good place to display someone they are grooming to run for a higher office maybe, or who has an election upcoming this year, or something along those lines. Like last year, when Barack Obama gave the response. Nope. The Dems pick a governor from Virginia who has been office all of three weeks. They picked him because he was a good speaker, used to connecting with people. If that's the best that the Dems have to offer as far as speakers go...

Well let's just say he made GW look smooth and collected.