OK
So, I'm not a good foosball player. Those of you that have played with me in the past know that, particularly any that were around during the Water Street days. I'm better than I was then, but good never gets close to me. I have become a halfway decent defender though, or at least I have moments now.
Having said all that, I took a thorough stomping in foosball last night. I mean, our baseball team hasn't even lost this bad. I couldn't stop a single shot. At one point I decided to play one handed, and just concentrate on my beer, and I blocked more shots.
Ack.
I think I need to go to bar game camp. Ever since I stopped spending as much time in the bar, my pool game has gone down, my foosball game has gone down, and even the thought of playing beer die gives me a hangover. I mean, I had something like five beers last night, all of them of the see through variety, and my head is pounding right now, and I have a suspicious craving for bacon and egg sandwiches.
Forecast for this weekend:
25% sleeping on rocks
50% wiffle ball
99% sore body and liver on Sunday
Friday, July 29, 2005
Thursday, July 28, 2005
Orono - The Bustling Metropolis
I managed to show not even a single solitary ounce of productivity last night. I won't go into the details of what I did, but leave it at the fact that it involved my couch and my ps2. I'd like to say that I drank a bunch of beer at least, but I opened up one and forgot to finish it. Sad.
So the Blues Cafe is finally opening up today. For those who haven't been in Orono in a while, that makes the second restaurant in as many months that has opened up, yes, we now have options. In case you all forgot, the Blues Cage is right across from Ampersand's. Supposedly it's going to be fine dining. Not that I'm skeptical or anything, but fine dining in Orono seems like a tough fit. I mean, formal attire for Orono is a clean Birkenstock. They are serving a real breakfast though, including eggs benedict, so I am sure that I will be a frequent paying customer.
Forecast for this evening is for a chance of bar crawl, with 75% chance of see through beer. Barrign bar crawl, 25% chance my hands become numb with playstation.
So the Blues Cafe is finally opening up today. For those who haven't been in Orono in a while, that makes the second restaurant in as many months that has opened up, yes, we now have options. In case you all forgot, the Blues Cage is right across from Ampersand's. Supposedly it's going to be fine dining. Not that I'm skeptical or anything, but fine dining in Orono seems like a tough fit. I mean, formal attire for Orono is a clean Birkenstock. They are serving a real breakfast though, including eggs benedict, so I am sure that I will be a frequent paying customer.
Forecast for this evening is for a chance of bar crawl, with 75% chance of see through beer. Barrign bar crawl, 25% chance my hands become numb with playstation.
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
mea culpa, mea culpa
The gf has ordered me to inform everybody that "I am not the word of God" and also that I had my movies messed up and that it was Legally Blond that is the five star movie, and not The Wedding Planner. I wasn't even aware they were different movies, I just thought they were a continuation of one big shitty romantic comedy. Apparently I was mistaken.
So I am on my own tonigh, no furball, no gf, and in all likelihood, no dinner either. Damn. One night of bachelorhood midweek. One night to go out on the town, raise hell, sow the wild oats...
OK, so I'll probably play playstation all night and go to bed early. What of it?
Watched Say Anything last night for about the bazillionth time, and was struck, once again, by the fact that Ione Skye walks like a duck.
Thought about shaving my head last week, but I was a little worried about what I'd find. I was talking to a co-worker, and she said that she didn't know her husband was balding until he shaved his head. Now, I've already resolved to go bald with pride, and never resort to the comb-over, but how do you know when it's time to go bald? I mean, when does it switch from Receding Hairline to No Hairline?
Forecast for tonight:
%80 Champagne of Beers + PS2
%50 Champagne of Beers + Nappy Nap
So I am on my own tonigh, no furball, no gf, and in all likelihood, no dinner either. Damn. One night of bachelorhood midweek. One night to go out on the town, raise hell, sow the wild oats...
OK, so I'll probably play playstation all night and go to bed early. What of it?
Watched Say Anything last night for about the bazillionth time, and was struck, once again, by the fact that Ione Skye walks like a duck.
Thought about shaving my head last week, but I was a little worried about what I'd find. I was talking to a co-worker, and she said that she didn't know her husband was balding until he shaved his head. Now, I've already resolved to go bald with pride, and never resort to the comb-over, but how do you know when it's time to go bald? I mean, when does it switch from Receding Hairline to No Hairline?
Forecast for tonight:
%80 Champagne of Beers + PS2
%50 Champagne of Beers + Nappy Nap
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
Cleaning House, la la la
Cleaned up a little bit around the house yesterday. Would have cleaned more, but I got distracted by a bottle of wine and dinner, and motivation for anything but a nap was nonexistent after that. Also signed up for netflix, so I spent a large part of the night ranking movies that the gf and I had seen. I have the feeling that any database that looks at our rankings might think that we are schizophrenic. (I don't care what anyone says, there is no way the Wedding Planner should have the same amount of stars as the Godfather.) So it's interesting to see the recommendations we were given, number one was...
Princess Diaries 2
Needless to see, I will cut off my own foot and feed it to the animal before that particular movie works its way to my house. Next three movies on our queue...
Dial M for Murder
Lemony Snicket: A Series of Unfortunate Events
The City of Lost Children
See if you can guess who chose which movie.
Does this mean the death of cable in my house? It certainly gets us closer. I went to pay my cable bill last month and just about had a heart attack. All we have is the entry level of digital cable, and it costs us $75. Not even HBO or Skinemax!!!! I feel so used.
Forecast for tonight
99% chance the dogface waits until I fall asleep before taking jumping up into bed and cuddling with the softie sleeping next to me.
75% chance of me waking up to puppy tail in the face at 5.
65% chance furball will mistake, "Get the fuck off me you mangy mutt" for "Oh it's five in the morning? I can't think of anything I'd rather do than wrestle with a dog that's just been licking her own bum hole!"
Princess Diaries 2
Needless to see, I will cut off my own foot and feed it to the animal before that particular movie works its way to my house. Next three movies on our queue...
Dial M for Murder
Lemony Snicket: A Series of Unfortunate Events
The City of Lost Children
See if you can guess who chose which movie.
Does this mean the death of cable in my house? It certainly gets us closer. I went to pay my cable bill last month and just about had a heart attack. All we have is the entry level of digital cable, and it costs us $75. Not even HBO or Skinemax!!!! I feel so used.
Forecast for tonight
99% chance the dogface waits until I fall asleep before taking jumping up into bed and cuddling with the softie sleeping next to me.
75% chance of me waking up to puppy tail in the face at 5.
65% chance furball will mistake, "Get the fuck off me you mangy mutt" for "Oh it's five in the morning? I can't think of anything I'd rather do than wrestle with a dog that's just been licking her own bum hole!"
Monday, July 25, 2005
What's a free weekend?
Forgot to write in on Friday, and just about forgot today as well. Not a lot to report back, that the water in the camp is now on and this was sure as hell a nice weekend to be up there. Read the first half of Conferacy of Dunces, good book so far, not really like anything I've read before. No pictures, sorry Goodwin. Also spent some time floating in the innertube drinking tall boys.
Looks good up there, the guy who did the work knows what he's doing, and he took some care. Big improvement on the last guy that helped us out, who basically just took a big dump under the green camp and charged us for it.
Split our double header yesterday against the Hermon team. It was a weird day, they beat us 10 - 0 in the first game, and we got them 12-7 in the second, with neither game being as close as the score. I caught the first game, with a guy pitching who hadn't thrown in three years. Fortunately he remembered how to throw his fastball over my head, and his curveball in the dirt. At least the weather was nice.
Second game was basically over after the second inning when the score was 12-0 good guys. I'm not sure we had scored that many runs all season, so that probably means we're done for the year. Of course, we only have two games left, so that shouldn't be too painful. Unless I catch again.
Forecast for tonight - 75% Champagne of Beers, with a high possibility of house cleaning in the late afternoon, early evening. Unless of course, I can avoid it, in which case a 65% chance of a nap on the couch comes into play.
Looks good up there, the guy who did the work knows what he's doing, and he took some care. Big improvement on the last guy that helped us out, who basically just took a big dump under the green camp and charged us for it.
Split our double header yesterday against the Hermon team. It was a weird day, they beat us 10 - 0 in the first game, and we got them 12-7 in the second, with neither game being as close as the score. I caught the first game, with a guy pitching who hadn't thrown in three years. Fortunately he remembered how to throw his fastball over my head, and his curveball in the dirt. At least the weather was nice.
Second game was basically over after the second inning when the score was 12-0 good guys. I'm not sure we had scored that many runs all season, so that probably means we're done for the year. Of course, we only have two games left, so that shouldn't be too painful. Unless I catch again.
Forecast for tonight - 75% Champagne of Beers, with a high possibility of house cleaning in the late afternoon, early evening. Unless of course, I can avoid it, in which case a 65% chance of a nap on the couch comes into play.
Thursday, July 21, 2005
God Have Mercy on the State of Maine
This was the response from my friend Chris from High School when he found out that I am responsible for the care and feeding of a live animal. This is the same Chris who thought that we were going to eat at Rat's when he came to UM to visit. Also the same Chris that once had a microwave stolen from him during a party he had at Northeastern.
----
Did you hear that Denver is banning pit bulls?
Or the problems that New Zealand is having with karma?
Dave Barry's Ebay item of the day
----
Anyhoo, enough links for today.
The following is actual dialogue from our game last night.
----
me (catching): Thank god there's a beer store between here and my house.
batter: There's a strip club between here and my house.
[Several pitches go by. I mean, like, to the backstop by.]
me: Yup, you got me beat.
----
Forecast for tonight's poker night: 6 beers is gonna cost me 30 bucks
----
Did you hear that Denver is banning pit bulls?
Or the problems that New Zealand is having with karma?
Dave Barry's Ebay item of the day
----
Anyhoo, enough links for today.
The following is actual dialogue from our game last night.
----
me (catching): Thank god there's a beer store between here and my house.
batter: There's a strip club between here and my house.
[Several pitches go by. I mean, like, to the backstop by.]
me: Yup, you got me beat.
----
Forecast for tonight's poker night: 6 beers is gonna cost me 30 bucks
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
Ass whoopins to commence shortly
I'm not sure why waking up is such a traumatic thing some days. It could have something to do with my dog doing cannonballs onto my stomach and then kidney punching me after I curl into the fetal position, but I'm not even sure that's it.
On my way to work I had to stop and buy some batting gloves, as I had officially destroyed the last pair last weekend. Not sure how, as I didn't hit a hell of a lot, but whatever. The old pair was severely funky in a "ooh what died in there" sort of way, so it's not a bad thing that I bought new gloves. So I dropped 60 bucks on a case of game balls and a pair of mizuno batting gloves (cost to manufacture: three dollars), and I'll probably go 0-4 anyways, unless the gloves have secret robot eyes that can help me lay off of the high fastball and the low curveball.
I am now sitting in my office, dripping sweat on the keyboard. Fortunately I once again forgot my deodorant, so everybody wins today.
Forecast for this evening: 75% bruised ego, with a chance of thrown helmets. 25% chance of a victory, if other team forgets location of field.
On my way to work I had to stop and buy some batting gloves, as I had officially destroyed the last pair last weekend. Not sure how, as I didn't hit a hell of a lot, but whatever. The old pair was severely funky in a "ooh what died in there" sort of way, so it's not a bad thing that I bought new gloves. So I dropped 60 bucks on a case of game balls and a pair of mizuno batting gloves (cost to manufacture: three dollars), and I'll probably go 0-4 anyways, unless the gloves have secret robot eyes that can help me lay off of the high fastball and the low curveball.
I am now sitting in my office, dripping sweat on the keyboard. Fortunately I once again forgot my deodorant, so everybody wins today.
Forecast for this evening: 75% bruised ego, with a chance of thrown helmets. 25% chance of a victory, if other team forgets location of field.
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
Brain Dead from the Get Go
Woke up this morning feeling like a truck ran over me, then I realized it was just the dog face hopping up onto the bed. It appears she is on a mission to permanently separate the gf from me, and me from my sleep. At the best of times I don't sleep well, and that only escalates when you add in a 60 lb dog doing gymnastics on top of me. Severe beatings almost commenced, but then I was gifted with a tongue bath and furious tail wiggles, and I was forced to hold off on the beatings. Next time, watch out animal!
Rented a movie last night that I'm kind of excited to see, A Very Long Engagement. The only problem is that it's in French, which means subtitles. I like foreign films just fine, but if I'm tired I sometimes can't handle them. So needless to say we watched the Yanks/Rangers game (one of the sloppiest games I've seen since our very own Bay League game on Sunday) instead of watching what promises to be a very fine movie. Maybe if I had a bigger tv the subtitles would be easier to read? Thus leading us to watch more foreign films and becoming more culturally enlightened? It could be...
Yes, I think a new tv could be answer.
Forecast for this evening is partially cloudy, with a strong chance of disagreement from the girlfriend front about the need for a new tv to bring us cultural enlightenment.
Rented a movie last night that I'm kind of excited to see, A Very Long Engagement. The only problem is that it's in French, which means subtitles. I like foreign films just fine, but if I'm tired I sometimes can't handle them. So needless to say we watched the Yanks/Rangers game (one of the sloppiest games I've seen since our very own Bay League game on Sunday) instead of watching what promises to be a very fine movie. Maybe if I had a bigger tv the subtitles would be easier to read? Thus leading us to watch more foreign films and becoming more culturally enlightened? It could be...
Yes, I think a new tv could be answer.
Forecast for this evening is partially cloudy, with a strong chance of disagreement from the girlfriend front about the need for a new tv to bring us cultural enlightenment.
Monday, July 18, 2005
Ahh, sweet, sweet Monday
Without going into too much details on this weekend, I can assure you that nothing of interest happened. I went to sleep Friday night, blinked, and it was Monday morning and I was late for work.
Apparently some things of interest took place over the weekend, like:
In a remarkable game Sunday afternoon, our team managed to give up 1o runs in the first inning of our second game of our double-header, ON ONE HIT!!!! Final tally for the inning, 8 bb, 2 hbp, 1 1b, 1 sac fly. Sometimes we even amaze ourselves. Next game is Wednesday, against the team in our league with the best record.
So what's the forecast for this evening?
95% mosquito bites, with a chance of skunk in the evening.
Apparently some things of interest took place over the weekend, like:
- Tiger winning the British Open with no real competition from anybody;
- The Yankees took 3 of 4 from the Red Sox with the waiver wire pitching;
- Lance rode his bike uphill some more.
In a remarkable game Sunday afternoon, our team managed to give up 1o runs in the first inning of our second game of our double-header, ON ONE HIT!!!! Final tally for the inning, 8 bb, 2 hbp, 1 1b, 1 sac fly. Sometimes we even amaze ourselves. Next game is Wednesday, against the team in our league with the best record.
So what's the forecast for this evening?
95% mosquito bites, with a chance of skunk in the evening.
Friday, July 15, 2005
Repository for randomness, Step 1
Not exactly sure what I have to say today, except man has it been a long week. I'm sure that this weekend will truck by, filling me with beer, books, and baseball, and I will be sitting in this very same seat on Monday saying, "Where the fuck did the weekend go?"
Only, on Monday my liver will hurt, my hand will be swollen from catching (and I may or may not be able to bend my knee) and I may or may not have west nile from reading outside in a lounge chair in the middle of bug central. Also: a forecast of stepping in dog poop is about 80%, with a 20% chance of me wearing shoes.
Only, on Monday my liver will hurt, my hand will be swollen from catching (and I may or may not be able to bend my knee) and I may or may not have west nile from reading outside in a lounge chair in the middle of bug central. Also: a forecast of stepping in dog poop is about 80%, with a 20% chance of me wearing shoes.
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