A Modest Proposal (or maybe 2)

Here's what I would like today:

1. I would like to win the lottery, without having to deal with buying tickets.
2. I would like the dogface to learn how to walk on her front feet while juggling basketballs with her back feet.
3. I would like a pet monkey to be friends with the dogface.
4. I would like to be able to fall asleep at night.
5. I would like people who voted for George Bush to explain themselves to me in a way I can understand. I can accept the "I hated John Kerry" logic, if only for it's honesty.
6. I would like to be able to fly. Preferably w/o flapping my arms, but if I must I must.
7. I would like to be able to walk on my hands (just so the dog wouldn't feel weird)
8. I would like a baseball field in my backyard.
9. And a basketball court in my basement.
10. While I'm at it, a mt range in the backyard would be nice, but only at low altitude. Obviously I don't want to mess up my baseball stats.
11. I would like a sugar covered molasses donut.
12. I would like to see my grandparents when they were my age.
13. I would like to have the willpower to read War and Peace.
14. And the intelligence to understand it.
15. I would like to be considered for the Nobel Prize for Peace.
16. I would like to be impressed by my generation.
17. I would like the ability to teleport anywhere in the world, without having to ask Scotty.
18. While we're on the Star Trek thing, I would like Vulcan ears. But just for a day, they look like they might be prone to ear infections.
19. I would like a maid.
20. I would like to own a small island in the south pacific with all the amenities.
21. Especially hammocks with cup-holders.
22. I would like to be immune to mosquitos.
23. I would like to be able to perform a triple-lindy.
24. I would like to be the catcher for the New York Yankees.
25. Seriously, the pet monkey. The dog is lonely for Christ's sake!
26. A pooper scooper for monkeys. Just in case it's not house trained.
27. An ashtray for the monkey. Just in case it smokes cigars like Lancelot Link.

That's it for today I guess, I'm sure I'll want more tomorrow.