hot young milf home alone

My email is giving me a complex.

Everytime I log in to my email I'm told:

1. I have a limp dick,
2. Which is too small.
3. I need a new Rolex, and
   
4. I'm fat.

Now, this is a problem, but apparently not a huge problem as there are:

1. An abundance of horny girls in my area
2. hot, horny milfs just waiting for me
3. naked celebrities just waiting for action

What's a boy to do? I'm trying to work, and all I can do is think about these "hot, asian nymphos waiting to be tag-teamed..."

It was almost a relief to be told,

1. "We make screen t-shirts for cheap,"
   
2. Or, "Make Millions with our Stock Tips," or
   
3. "Steve, get off your email and get some work done!!!"
   

Oh wait, that last one was for real. Crap.