Sometimes it takes a miracle...

So. I haven't written in a while. I'm aware of this. Why? I've got a lot going on, I'm a busy guy, my computer was broken, my brain was broken, the F wouldn't let me, the dogface ate my homework. There were all kinds of reasons I couldn't chime in daily with my highly (questionably) witty comments on the goings on of the world.

But finally, an occasion has arisen (arose? arosen?) that can break me out of my no-blogging slump.

ROCKY BALBOA

That's right, the Italian Stallion is back baby. And from all reports, he is actually bigger than ever. (By bigger, I mean larger, not better.)

The reviews have actually been fairly kind to Rocky VI. Coming almost a decade after the steaming pile of donkey shit that was Rocky V, Rocky VI goes back to the roots of Rocky. Back to the meat factory, back to the dirty, rugged Philadelphia of the original Rocky. I'm not going to do a review of the movie, largely because I haven't seen it yet. But I'm excited. Real excited. I grew up on the Rocky movies, and have varying levels of love for all of them (except V, which is a steaming pile of donkey shit.)

Rocky (1976)- The best actual movie of them all. Sometimes it's forgotten that this movie came out to the perfect storm of the Bicentennial driven patriotic fervor of 1976. (I can state this for a fact, having been born two years later.) Regardless, Rocky won an Oscar and announced to the world the presence of the next great filmmaker, Sylvester Stallone.

Rocky II (1979) - Surprising dated, yet still a great movie. Coming on the heels of movies with the taglines of: The Carboni Boys. They haul ice, lay out stiffs and dance with monkeys. and A love story between a man, a country, the people he led and the woman he loved, It's very hard for me to imagine why Sly would have wanted to make a sequel to Rocky.

Rocky III (1982)- Starring Mr. T as a scary, scary black man who was in no way inspired by Mike Tyson. But only because Tyson's career started three years after this. A great movie. Tyson, I mean Mr. T, was very convincing. Plus, we get to see how small Sly Stallone is when he wrestles Hulk Hogan. Movies Sly made between Rocky II and III included Victory, a WWII soccer story co-starring Pele and Nighthawks, where Sly stars as "Deke DaSilva, the most dangerous cop known to man."

Rocky IV (1985) - As Bill Simmons puts it, This movie may have single-handedly ended the cold war. And no matter how cheesy this is, I dare you to watch the whole thing without getting goosebumps at the end.

Very rarely have a character and it's actor been so tightly aligned throughout the entire span of a series of movies. With the Rocky movies, Sly takes us on a journey from poor blue collar worker in Rocky to rich prima donna in Rocky III, back down to the bottom of the career and life path with the brain-damaged (on many levels) Rocky V. My hope, and from what I read it might just be the case, is that Rocky VI or Rocky Balboa, will find Rocky where Sly is. An old, former superstar prize fighter/oscar winner, no longer in their prime, but still with a puncher's chance to tell one last great story/fight one last great fight.

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This blog was for Gushee, and all the times he made me watch all of these fucking movies. Don't worry, the Transformers the Movie entry is coming soon.