Dog Face Questions

The F Show

2007-11-07T14:32:00.001-05:00

http://thefshow.blogspot.com/

I blink, and it's Monday.

2007-11-05T12:52:00.000-05:00

I'm told that I had a weekend the last two days, but it went by quite simply too fast for me to remember/enjoy it. A few highlights:

Friday night - Celtics game: I actually left my house to watch the first half at Rat's Pizza. This isn't the first time I've done this in the last few years, but it is the first time there's been anyone else there with the intention of watching the game. Welcome aboard my bandwagon hopping friends, there's room for all of us. Follower. The game was great, and did nothing to dilute my excitement about this season, which is bordering on the absurd right now.

Late Friday night - Hour long conversation with Hendo rave about the Celtics and how they may never lose a game, and how if possible we would both have Kevin Garnett's babies. In a normal, hetero-sexual man crush sort of way, of course.

Saturday - Portland Brew fest, or whatever the hell it's called: I seriously want to sit down with the people who organize this event and talk to them about some logistics. Like, why not do this, say, outside? Or in a building big enough so that you have a little room between booths? I mean, I like beer and all, but a three hour wait in line punctuated by beers is a bit much. (Good beer and good company or not) Whatever the case, some good beers were tasted, mainly beers that I was already familiar with, but also a few newbies as well. My top newbies were Kennebunkport Brewing Companies Taint Town Ale, and Sheepscot Brewing's Brown Ale. The worst, bar none, was that pile of organic goo from Peak Organic Brewing, which tasted like flat mildly hoppy water.

Sunday - Time Change: Nothing better than that extra hour of sleep, especially when you didn't know it was coming. Fucking right Daylight Savings Time, in the fall I don't hate you. Come spring time you can go to hell.

Sunday - Breakfast: Since I wasn't suffering from a debilitating hangover, I was able to enjoy a delicious Eggs Benny at the Port Hole. Good stuff.

Sunday - dogpark: Why Orono doesn't have a dogpark baffles me. And angers me. Anyways, since we were in the land of Port, we took the dog face to the dog park, and for once she wasn't the worst behaved dog. She may not have even been in the top five. In fact, even with mud all over the place, she somehow restrained herself from rolling around in any poop/mud mixtures. We were very proud.

Sunday - shopping times: The wifey and I had some gift certificate shopping to do, courtesy of the wedding. So we shopped around at LeRoux's in Portland, and walked away with a pasta making attachment for the Cuisanart. (Thank you Joe T.) We also hit Freeport on the way back up north. Highlight of this part was the wine and cheese store, where we picked up a Pinotage from South Africa, a Cab. Sav. from Chile, some Genova Salami, and some 5-yr aged Cheddar. The cheese was so good that I actually just dropped a wee bit of drool on the keyboard.

Sunday afternoon sports: Unthinkably enough, the Celtics were actually being broadcast on Sports talk radio, so I got to listen to that on the ride home, and got home in time to watch the 4th quarter, and most of the overtime. Comcast then decided to cut out their video feed with a few minutes left, but I was able to sort of hear Ray Allen hit a game-winning three to make the Celtics 2-0. I then switched to the Pat's/Colts game, which actually, rarely, lived up to the billing of a big game. While I'm glad the Pat's won, I'm more glad that there was actually a fun game to watch this year. I didn't see anything to convince me that either team was better than the other, and I still believe that they will both be in the AFC finals.

It's (not) a hard life after all

2007-11-02T13:59:00.000-04:00

Happy Friday My People. It was a long time coming this week, but it's here, so enjoy your weekends. Going to the Portland Brewer's Fest this weekend, or whatever the hell it's called. I'm a bit scared of the crowds, but I'm more scared of the wrath of Liz and Major if we don't go.

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Read an interesting book yesterday, an imperfect and yet fascinating book that I can't quite seem to clear out of my mind today. Mister Pip, by Lloyd Jones, was nominated for the Man Booker Prize, and it is worthy of that, I suppose. Roughly, the book is about a small war-torn island near Australia, as seen through the eyes of a 13 year old girl named Matilda. Her mother comes from the hard-line religious school of thought, and her teacher is an agnostic/athiest white man who over the course of the novel uses Great Expectations by Charles Dickens as his core curriculum. The rough outline of the plot concerns Matilda's going back and forth between believing her mother and her teacher, all the while struggling to live in a harsh environment. In many ways, this book works, but only up to a certain point, a little over mid-way through the plot. At this point, abruptly, in the middle of the book, the plot takes a gruesomely violent turn. From this point on, everything that happens is colored by the violence Matilda has seen.

In some ways, what this book is really about is how people can identify with great writing, no matter what their life experiences are like. It's also about how two good people can be correct about opposite ends of an argument. I do wish the author had made a couple of different decisions, and I don't think some of the way the violence is described works very well.

Like I said, this is far from a perfect book. It did suck me in and carry me along, and I don't think I will forget it soon. (It's also fairly short, which didn't hurt. I'd rather have a book leave me wanting more, than have it carry on too long.)

---

Big plans tonight for this guy. Gonna go home from work, take the pooch for a long walk, and clean up around the house. Once the chores are taken care of, I'm going to crack upon a book, crank some music, and drink some wine and read for a while. Come 7:30, I'm going to tune in to ESPN to check out my new-look Celtics play their first game of the season against the Wizards and Gilbert Arenas. I assume I will fall asleep on the couch by nine. Good times, good times.

They just kept laterelling...

2007-10-31T12:54:00.000-04:00

If you haven't seen the end of the Trinity game the other day, check out this video:

Yawning through the weekend (A.K.A. the Red Sox won the World Series.)

2007-10-29T14:34:00.000-04:00

Yay. The Red Sox win, and the world yawns. Thank god there was at least a little bit of drama last night, because I honestly can't recall a more boring World Series, ever. Look, the Red Sox won, they deserved to win. The Sox and the Indians were the two best teams this year, and whoever won that series was going to win, no matter how many games in a row the Rockies won leading into the Series. (They won those games against NL opponents, unfortunately for them.) Anyways, congratulations, and blah.

As far as the Patriots go, yesterday's game wasn't all that fun too watch either. I mean, the only drama was whether or not the Patriot's were being poor sports by running up the score at the end. Of course they were. Who cares? Billy B. may have a reputation as a genius in Boston, but everywhere else his reputation, at best, is that of an evil genius. So, he's not a nice guy. Big fucking whoop.

--

Watched a couple of movies this weekend, of varying levels of suckitude.

Friday night we watched Knocked Up, which thanks to me not paying attention to the Warning, led to me having flashbacks to Senior year health class. Anyways, after watching the movie, my basic opinion is, huh? People thought this was a hilarious movie? I mean, there were funny parts, like every time Paul Rudd was onscreen, but there were general surrounded by 15 minutes of boring. I guess I just expected a bit more funny, and a bit less boring.

Saturday we watched Transformers, which while maybe 20 minutes too long, was exactly the movie I expected it to be. (And that is a good thing.) One thing you can definitely say about Michael Bay films is that they are not going to outthink themselves. (See: Armegeddon) Transformers was filled with fun, from the cheezy acting, to the great action scenes. Oh, and did I mention Meghan Fox?

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I'm going to try to keep writing at least a couple times a week, but we'll see.

Falling all over the place

2007-10-18T13:26:00.000-04:00

Summer's finally over my friends. And you know what? I'm ready. So far, this fall has been good to me, working our way gradually into the winter. Seasonably warm days, cold nights. Just like should be the case when you live in Maine. The steadily shrinking days are going to be a problem though, as they are already starting to cramp my golfing schedule. I mean, at some point I have to go to work, right? Right?

Anyways, a few random things today.

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Read a couple good books in the last few weeks.

The Bridge of Sighs, by Richard Russo - For those who have read and enjoyed anything else by Richard Russo, this is a must read. For everyone else, I would start with Nobody's Fool or Empire Falls, both of these are better books. Still, if this is not Russo's best effort, that still makes it better than most any other books out there right now.

The Soul of Baseball by Joe Posnanski - For baseball fans, this is a must read. Joe Posnanski is one of, if not the best sports columnist out there, and this is his story about taking road trips with Buck O'Neill, a former Negro League player and manager. O'Neill loved three things, baseball, jazz, and women, and in many ways this this book serves as on ode to all three. Like I said, a great read for anyone loves baseball.

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As always, there are a bunch of new tv shows out there this year, a few of which have actually captured my attention.

Pushing Daisies - Wednesdays at 8 - Don't read any reviews of this show, as a description doesn't do it justice. Don't worry yourself about the plot, as that is largely irrelevant. This is a show about tone and look. The tone of this show is overtly light-hearted, with a dark, dark sense of humor as a backdrop. Visually, Pushing Daisies does remind me of Amelie, or of Pan's Labyrinth possibly. (If you haven't seen either of these, go rent them today.)

Life - Wednesday's at 10 - I know, I know, yet another cop show. This one throws some curveballs, and has a structure that works for me. The main character of the show, Crews, is a former cop turned convict who spent 11 years in jail for a crime he didn't commit, was found innocent, and as part of his wrongful charges settlement was reinstated as a detective. Each episode focuses both on one "smaller" crime, as well as some portion of Crews' ongoing investigation into how he was wrongly convicted. The acting is good, the writing is good, and for you Replacements fans out there, Crews' lawyer is played by none other than Brooke Langton.

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Maybe if I have time tomorrow, I'll throw something out there about the returning shows we have been watching, and how some of them better get their shit together.

An Impossible Situation

2007-10-11T13:53:00.001-04:00

I suppose I should chime in about the Yankees situation. Thanks to Mr. Steinbrenner, the only possible success for a Yankees season is to win the World Series. While they may have won 4 out of 5 back in the late 90's, it's just not that easy to win it all. The most interesting stat from this postseason for me is the fact that 7 of 8 teams that made the playoffs this year, didn't last year. While football gets all the parity talk (somewhat deservedly thanks to their salary cap), it's baseball that has had 7 different champions in 7 years.

Anyways, getting back to this year's Yankees, according to many, this year was a failure. I'm just not sure I agree with that. It may have been the last gap of the group from the nineties, but in many ways I think was a re-building year for the Yankees. There's a real chance that next year the Yankees will have three starting pitchers who were rookies this year. Just making the playoffs with rookies carrying the weight is an achievement, never mind making up a 14 game deficit.

All that said, the thing that needs to be mentioned is that the Yankees lost because the Indians played better for four games. (Even the game the Yankees won.) They had better all around pitching, better hitting, better fielding. If they had played more games, would this have changed? I don't think so actually, I think the Indians were a better team this year. It happens sometimes.

As for next year, there is also a real chance that the Yankees will have lost ARod, Posada, Pettite and Rivera. (Honestly, at this point, losing Clemens is addition by subtraction.) Even for a team with the resources of the Yankees, that's a lot to lose. It would leave them with a team that looks something like this:

C - Me
1b - Giambi/Minkyvitch
2b - Cano
SS - El Capitan
3b - Betimit
LF - Damon/Matsui
CF - Cabrera
RF - Abreau
DH - Giambi/Damon/Matsui

SP - Wang, Hughes, Kennedy, Mussina, Chamberlain?
Closer - Chamberlain (If he is not starting)

And a mishmash of relievers who may or may not be returning. Seriously, I'd pick that team to compete against most teams. Even without ARod and Posada, they'd still score some runs. They'd miss Pettite and Rivera the most out of those two I think, by a long shot.

As for my feelings about this Yankee's team? Thanks to the wonder of mlb.com, I watched more Yankees games this year than any year since I moved to Maine. I liked watching this team. Watching rookies learn on the fly, making mistakes and great plays at equal rates, is to me one of the easiest things to root for. Red Sox fans know what I mean, after watching Pedroia, Ellsbury, Lester, and Buchholz this year.

To make a long blog short, I wasn't all that disappointed in the Yankees this year. I think they lost to a better team, and I think they battled the whole time. As a fan, I can accept that. (By the way, Red Sox fans, the Indians should scare the crap out of you. This is a good team.)

Why? Why I ask you? Why?

2007-09-26T13:40:00.001-04:00

Q: Why can't I write more often?

A: Because I am a boring sack of shit.

----

So. Since the last time we talked, I have done nothing that is remotely interesting to anybody, especially myself. Unless you count finally running my speaker wires through the basement so that I could stop constantly tripping on them.

I haven't been reading, or watching movies recently, as I've simply been brain dead. The wifey tried to talk to me last night, and I quite honestly didn't even know it was happening.

It could be the heat, I suppose, but while it is unseasonably warm for this time of year, its not so hot that I should actually be suffering mental consequences.

It could be work, which has certainly been busy enough to wear out the old cranium.

Dunno what it is, but I need a nap, and I am hours and hours from the ability to take one. Unless of course, I pull a Costanza.

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Quick congratulations go out to the Goose and Danielle, who celebrated the arrival of their second baby the other day.

quickly confidential

2007-09-11T14:44:00.001-04:00

Not a ton of time today, so just a quick book recommendation. I just finished reading L.A. Confidential, by James Ellroy. Apparently it was the third in a series of four books, but you don't need to have read the other ones to read this one. If you liked the movie, I would highly recommend the book. There are definitely some similarities, but they are more in the rough character outlines than in the plot points. (Which was nice actually, as I didn't know what was coming next, not that the plot twists were the hardest to decipher.) Anyways, the casting of the movie was done so well, that all the descriptions of the characters fit those cast to play them in the movie.

Not necessarily a quick read, as it took some time for me to get used to the changes in narrators, but not a hard read either.

There might be more later today if I have time, we'll see.

The Return of Football Sunday

2007-09-10T12:02:00.000-04:00

Or... An excuse to take naps, resumed.

Football gets much PR nowadays as the "New" American Pasttime. While I personally think this is a criminal reflection of the ever-shortening American attention span, and a reflection of the fact that there are only 16 games in the regular season, there is an undeniable draw to the first weekend of real football. I am not one of those people who are so desperate for something to do that they would deign to watch Pre-Season Football.

But really, there are only three real reasons to enjoy football.

Sunday afternoon nap time baby. I love my Sunday afternoon naps in the fall. In fact, I can't remember the last football game I watched all the way through without at least a little bit of shut-eye.
Fantasy football. There's nothing to make a bad football game interesting like the fact that your defense is getting the shit kicked out of it by Eli Manning. Not like this just happened to me last weekend or anything. Seriously, if you can't stop Eli, Dallas Defense, we may have to go our separate ways. America's team my ass.
Gambling. The not so hidden secret behind football's success. Can you think of another sport that routinely makes as big of a deal about point spreads and over/unders? Oh, you thought those were just for fun? Let me tell you another one: The NCAA Men's BB Tournament is a big deal because people enjoy the level of competition.

I suppose there are people out there who watch the games for the lure of the violence and mayhem, but to be honest, I get enough violence just taking the dogface for a walk. Seriously, the mutt can pull pretty hard.

---

In case you can't tell, I'm not the biggest football fan in the world. I do like the Patriot's I suppose, but not in nearly the same way in which I am a fan of either the Celtics or the Yankees. Still, this Sunday was a difficult weekend for me, testing my team loyalties against my fantasy team needs. The team I was facing had both Brady and Moss, and my team had Jerricho Cotherie of the Jets. Needless to say, I'm getting the shit kicked out of me. How did I resolve my loyalty conflict?

By napping. I do, after all, have my priorities.

Sadly, getting older. Much, much, older.

2007-09-08T10:17:00.000-04:00

Had a big Friday night last night. Played 18 holes, terribly. Got home, met up with the wifey, and went out to Pats, had a beer and a lard-ridden pizza. Came home, drank some wine, and put in Pirates of the Caribbean Two: I'm back for more cash. Actually it was called something else, but after watching the first half hour of those mailed in, lifeless "performances", the wifey and I decided it would be best to watch something, anything, else.

We flipped around through the tv/tivo for a bit, watching some random shows, and checking in on the Red Sox game. (<--- Jacob Ellsbury? Fast.)

Soon enough, we were tired and ready to go to bed. It was nine o'clock.

Wait, WHAT?

When the fuck did this happen?

NINE O'CLOCK?!?!?!?!

Lame. Lame. Lame.

I'd like to say we realized our lameness and decided to go out. We didn't. I finished my glass of wine, (and the wifey's too, for that matter) and went to read in bed. When I woke up, I was 65 years old.

Now he's really The Natural

2007-09-07T12:04:00.000-04:00

In the some stories are too good to be true department, I bring you Rick Ankiel.

For those of you who are unfamiliar, Rick Ankiel was brought up in the Cardinal's organization as a flame throwing left handed pitcher when he was 20 years old. He tore up the league, right up until the NLCS when he all of a sudden couldn't throw a strike.

I mean, literally, could not throw a strike. Ever.

Everyone thought he'd get over it, but he never did. So much so, that they sent him down to the minor leagues, where everyone thought he was done. But, in a Disney story come true, Ankiel converted to an outfielder two years ago. He was called up earlier this season, and improbably has been tearing up the league. His extended stats if he had played a full season would like Ruthian, something like 65 home runs, 15o rbi, that sort of thing. Last night, he had perhaps his best game, with two home runs and 7 rbi in a Cardinals win over the Pirates. Baseball writers all over the place were falling all over themselves making references to Roy Hobbs - Rick Ankiel, The Natural part Deux.

This morning, he woke up to headlines in the New York Daily News that he is accused of buying a year's worth of HGH (Human Growth Hormone). In other words, the Natural? Mebbe not.

Or wait a second..

In the movie The Natural, Roy Hobbs is played by Robert Redford as a Iowa farm boy who is a little too good to be true. Once a pitcher, he comes back as a slugger later in life following an incident involving a lady in black on a train. He comes back as a dominant slugger, who buoys the NY Knights to the pennant. Gamblers try to pay him off, but he loves baseball too much and just can't do it.

In the book, the story falls a little differently. Roy Hobbs in Bernard Malamud's The Natural, is a creature who falls victim to his own immense appetites. He gorges himself in women and food throughout the book, but his natural talent as a player carries him. Still, he is portrayed as a brutish, immoralist character, hardly one likely to be played by Robert Redford. In the end of the book, Malamud's Hobbs is guilty of throwing the game. One of the last lines of the book is from a small child who sees Hobbs after he is found guilty of conspiracy, and says "Say it ain't so Roy."

So maybe there are some more real parallels between Roy Hobbs and Rick Ankiel after all. Unfortunately for Ankiel, and for us, the parallels were between a literary Hobbs, and not the film one.

How to win the lottery without really trying

2007-09-05T10:51:00.000-04:00

Unfortunately, my current retirement plan involves winning the lottery. (My previous one involved a sugar mama.) Equally unfortunately, I've never bought a lottery ticket. I've probably played about ten scratch off tickets in my life, and won nothing. So... Does this make my odds of winning the lottery greater or lesser?

It's become clear to me that the path to riches doesn't seem to include working at a non-profit in education. Who knew?

So I need a knew plan. Possibly I should rob banks? There are enough tall, skinny people with glasses around, maybe they'd never find me. Maybe I should become a politician. That seems to be the first step to becoming a dirty politician, and all the graft that goes along with that. Hey, it worked for Dick Cheney, didn't it? I could invent the next pet rock, but that would require at least the slightest bit of creativity, and quite frankly, I'm fresh out.

Anyone have any ideas? I'm willing to share a significant (say.. 3%?) percentage of value for anyone who can make me unimaginably wealthy, so I can just spend my days lounging in the Caribbean with no plans that don't involve umbrella drinks.

Anyone?

The bestest part about long weekends

2007-09-04T13:07:00.000-04:00

Just time for a quickie today.

It's hard to say what the best part about long weekends is. It could be the simple fact that it's three days as opposed to two. That's nice. It could be that I don't have to work on a Monday. Which is also nice. (Although let's be honest, I don't get shit done on Monday's. Or Fridays. I should be on a three day a week schedule.)

The best part though, is when you forget that today is Tuesday and not Monday, and then all of a sudden remember and get to think to yourself, "One day closer to the weekend, fuckin' A right." God I love those moments. I've had a handful today.

(Is this a sign that I hate my job? Or just that I hate working, period? I am so ready for retirement.

---

A good use of technology:

My local library, the Orono Town library, has a search engine on their website where I can search for and reserve books. Simple, easy, and effective. Also, another way I can avoid talking to people face to face unless absolutely necessary. Which is what Technology's all about, right?

A couple big important things

2007-09-02T10:27:00.001-04:00

First off, happy Birthday Major. Yes, I know it was last week, but "better late than never" has been kind of a running theme for this blog. I heard lots of fun times were had by the ladies Friday night while celebrating. I heard this repeatedly actually, as I got a few phone calls that night with updates.

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So I'm just getting out of one of my busiest weeks of work in a while. Stupid work and it's throwing a cramp in my play schedule. Spent way, way too much time on a laptop this week, so needless to say I couldn't seem to get together the motivation to write at all. My schedule should open up a bit from here on out, so I'll see what I can do it about writing more. No promises though.

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School's back in session, which means two things. One, the wifey is definitely out of fun mode, and into "Educating our Young" mode, which means waking up at 5:30 every morning. For her, not me. Fuck that, if I was in charge, our young wouldn't get educated until mid-afternoon.

It also means that the students have started piling back into campus. It's a mixed blessing, really. They certainly bring more energy to the town, and they also dilute the percentage of self-righteous assholes. Parking spots quite simply disappear, and the bad driving factor multiplies exponentially. Also, I feel older every year. I know I've probably said it before, but I really do think the freshman look like children this year. I swear to god I saw a 12 year old moving into the dorms on Friday. I never, ever, looked that young. Except for maybe when I was 12.

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Good article this morning in the Kansas City Star, by Joe Posnanski. (<--- Spelling uncertain, but like you care.) I'd say this guys one of the best sports columnists in America right now. For more proof, check out his blog The Soul of Baseball. He's not updating the blog right now, but there is a ton of great articles about baseball, movies, and other random things. If you're looking to kill some time, check some of them out.

Saturday Morning Cartoons

2007-08-25T09:45:00.000-04:00

Whatever happened to Saturday morning cartoons? I remember growing up, I loved the cartoon section. Maybe even more than the Sports section. Maybe it was just that I loved Calvin and Hobbes. Man that was some funny shit. I mean, does it get any funnier than this?

Maybe, this?

Or this.

Nowadays, there just isn't that much to look forward to in the comics anymore. Maybe Shoe will come up with something great like this:

Or maybe Dilbert will somehow manage to perfectly capture my life in some way that makes me life while almost crying, such as this:

Most likely though, I'll accidentally read Family Circle (As perfectly captured in the movie Go, which for some reason I can't find a clip of on Youtube...), or Lucy, or any of the other piles of suck that pass for comics these days, and end up trying to scrape my eyeballs out with my cereal spoon. Is it me? Or is the papers? I'd like to think it's the papers, but it's not impossible that I'm souring in my old age.

Yowzah

2007-08-20T13:15:00.001-04:00

Despite the fears of Mrs. T, Joey T gave his first Triathlon a shot this weekend. (Placing number 111) Hell, I ran three steps the other day and pulled up lame. Nice work Joey, now get to work on that pig roast so you can put a little more fat on.

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Monday, schmonday. The boss is back at work today, which has already caused me to have to pay attention to my job today. (Which, obviously, is BS. I'm going to pull the JR and only use initials for curses for a while. Let's see how long that lasts.) Whenever my boss is out of the office for a long stretch (this time, for over about a month) it's a mixed blessing. I tend to get more done while he's gone, but then he comes back and I have to spend the first couple days justifying everything that happened while he was gone. Let's just say the frustration factor is high. Is it Friday yet?

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Currently reading: Underworld by Don Delillo. Interesting book, but not necessarily fast going. Doesn't help that the f'er is about a thousand f'ing pages. I've heard DeLillo's writings to be called "overstylized" and I guess I can see where that's coming from, but so far I'm enjoying it.

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In important breaking news, Robert Plant was born on this date in 1948.

Frank Caliendo does Seinfeld

2007-08-15T13:10:00.000-04:00

If you like Seinfeld, you have no choice but to check this out. Frank Caliendo is a Genius.

it's summertime, and the living is quesy

2007-08-08T21:38:00.000-04:00

I'm sitting on my couch, drinking a Blue Moon Summer Ale (<--- Delicioso), watching the the METS and El Duque match up against John Smoltz and the Braves. As much as I've always found the Braves to be mind numbingly boring, although this year I have John Smoltz on my Fantasy team so I've found myself actually watching a few games.

So... Some things are right in the world. Baseball in the summer, beer in the hand, life is good. Unfortunately, next to me a storm cloud is gathering.

Yup.

The wifey is writing thank you notes.

Now, there are very rarely times when I'm not glad to be a man. Never have I been more glad though, then during the planning for the wedding. Quite simply, men have it easy during wedding planning. Real easy. My entire job consisted of making sure that there was enough wine in the house to get the soon to be wifey through all of the trials and tribulations of being a bride. (Now, that was no small amount of wine, but still, not a hard job. Figuring out where to seat everyone so that everyone would be happy? Harder job. Wine helped though.)

Anyways, the wifey is writing thank you notes. It's a little scary, and she keeps stealing my beer. And she's only on the third note.

So the wifey is writing notes, and while I'm being supportive-ish, my brother is spooning the dogface on the other couch. Honestly, I think they're going to have puppies soon. (They do make quite a cute couple, actually.) What would you call that? An Irish/ Italian/ English/ Scottish/ Boxer/ German Shephard? Probably couldn't give those puppies away. They would certainly be stubborn as hell.

Anyways, I think I have to go hide now.

Some summer reading, maybe a bit late

2007-08-07T08:47:00.000-04:00

So some great big important news to start off this day: Goods is back, at a new location. He starts his comeback with a post, that, umm, just announces his comeback. I'm assuming there will be more to come soon.

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I've been reading a bunch this summer, some books have certainly been better than others. If you've read anything good this summer, go ahead and throw it in the comments section. Goody, this would exclude your php manuals and how to make babies books.

The Winter of Frankie Machine by Don Winslow
This is hardly the first mob/detective novel out there, but it might be the first surfing/detective/mob hitman story out there. This is the perfect book for the a beach blanket, light, interesting, and a quick read.

A Dirty Job by Christopher Moore
If you haven't read any books by Christopher Moore, I'm not sure this is the first one I would recommend. Either Lamb, the Gospel according to Biff Christ's Childhood Pal or Bloodsucking Fiends would be a better starting point. Moore writes fantastical stories with outlandish plot lines, yet somehow recognizable characters. In A Dirty Job, the main character, who is basically "your average Joe", becomes Death. Funny and zany situations ensue.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J.K. Rowling
For those who haven't gotten in on the Harry Potter phenomenon, I understand. You're not a child, you don't like fantasy books, blah, blah. But seriously, give it a shot. These are fun, energetic books that whir by. I think it took me about 5 hours to read this last one, and it was a fun five hours. And the characters? Let's just say that most literary works don't have characters with this many shades of grey.

Shutter Island by Dennis Lehane
Dennis Lehane is the author of Mystic River, which was a good book but was actually a better movie. He also has a series of five books out that feature the same two characters in a Spenser for Hire sort of vibe. These are all good enough books, well worth a read if you like those sort of books. In my opinion, Shutter Island was his best. It starts out as a murder/mystery based in the 1950's, and becomes, well, more. I don't want to ruin any of the details, but let's just say that by the end of the book, any surprise or shock that you feel has been earned.

---

Don't worry Goody, next time I'll write about something with moving pictures.

A question of Bandwagons...

2007-08-06T14:56:00.001-04:00

OK, here's a quick question for you all.

I have a dilemna. (Goody, just so you know, a dilemna is defined as a problem with more than one solution. I mean answer. Sorry, I'll try to stay from the big words.)

So I have a problem with more than one answer. (Is that better Goody?)

I need a new Celtics hat. Not because they signed Garnett, but because I have officially sweated through the old one, and it is kind of disgusting. My problem is, I really don't want to be identified as a bandwagon fan. So should I wait a while and then buy a new hat? Buy a new hat and just deal with the grief from bandwagon fans? (If there are any.)

Help me Obi Wan, you're my only hope.

Landmark Weekend

2007-08-06T14:29:00.000-04:00

Big weekend in sports landmarks my peeps. Arod hits 500, Bonds ties Aaron, and Tom Glavine wins 300. Also, Tiger Woods made Rory Sabbatini his bitch.

Woo hoo.

The correct, and predictable reaction, to the first two was a collective yawn. (Or more accurately, a "well at least that's taken care of.") Nobody seems to think 500 homeruns will be the biggest achievement of ARod's career, nor does anybody think that Bonds hit 755 without some, well, artificial assistance.

Hell, everybody seems to think that it's just a matter of time before ARod breaks any record that Bonds sets. You'd think a quick flashback to the mid nineties and Griffey Jr. would be enough for people to remember that breaking records of longevity are not sure things, but whatever. I have to be honest, I just don't care. At all. Personally, home runs are about my least favorite thing to watch in baseball. I'd rather watch a triple or an inside the park home run any day. (Favorite play in baseball: The straight steal of home.)

Tom Glavine's achievement interests me a bit. Mostly because I've always thought that Glavine is one of those professional athlete's who gets absolutely no credit for being a good athlete. He was drafted in the 4th round of the NHL draft, which has to count for something. (I mean, in 1984 that counted for something. Doesn't really count for anything now, sorry hockey fans. All three of you.) That and the fact that we were born in the same town, and one of my neighbors was actually his HS teacher. Other than that, I honestly couldn't care less.

---

Did anything else interesting happen this weekend? Does me taking back the recycling count? How about mowing the lawn? Does that count?

---

How sad is that I am anxiously awaiting the start of Celtics season. I mean, I know it's sad, but is it Real Sad, Really Really Sad, or just simply Pathetic? It's certainly somewhere in there.

---

Also, was this the most boring blog ever? Might have been, might have been.

Buckets and Buckets of Sweaty Goodness

2007-08-03T11:30:00.000-04:00

Title = My new nickname.

Seriously, I work at a computer. It shouldn't make me sweat. As I type this, my fingers are slipping off of the keys because they are a bit slimy and sweaty.

I am one hot bitch. Damn I'm attractive.

----

So, umm, this heat is really getting to me. I made the wifey cut all my hair off. It was getting too long anyways, so I figured it was time to make my head a bit more, shall we say, aerodynamic. Yee haw.

----

I need Gold Bond.

Bad.

----

What I wouldn't give for a sweet, sweet beer right now. Only a cold Corona (or even better, a Land Shark) could possibly keep my brains from boiling inside my big fat skull.

-

I want to make sweet, sexy times with a glacier. Seriously, do you think the wifey would be jealous if I humped an iceburg? Do you think this is how Frosty the Snowman came into being?

This day can't end fast enough.

Welly well now

2007-07-30T11:14:00.000-04:00

Good times Mondays are. Good times. Yes Yoda, good times Mondays are.

So. Let's talk about this weekend.

On second thought, lets not. I think today we should concentrate on a most amazing discovery made Friday night. Jimmy Buffett, yes, that Jimmy Buffett, has created his own beer, called Land Shark. Not surprisingly, it is very Corona-ish. In a not unrelated discovery, vicious hangovers are possible when you accidentally drink a bars supply of a new beer.

---

As you last few Celtics fans out there may know, today has been a frenzy of hitting refresh on celticsblog, waiting breathlessly to hear the latest Kevin Garnett rumor. The last rumor that I heard had the Celts giving up Al Jefferson, Gerald Green, Ryan Gomes, Sebastian Telfair, Theo Ratliff, and two picks for Garnett. That's a ton to give up, but I still think you make the deal. A core of Paul Pierce, Ray Allen, Kevin Garnett, and Rajon Rondo, no matter who the other players on the team are, would compete at the very least for the Eastern Conference Champs. Can't wait for all the other "Celtics" fans to come out of the woodworks. (Just like I became a Pats fan around the Brady era...)

---

This fucking heat is killing me. Believe it or not, it's making me even crankier than I always am. Yes, this is when you should start feeling bad for the wifey.

Batshit Crazy singer girl

2007-07-24T11:39:00.000-04:00

No, I'm not talking about anyone you know. And certainly not anyone that any of us have dated.

Nope. I'm talking about a certifiably nuts girl who has put out an album that I simply can not stop listening to. Amy Winehouse's "Back to Black" is a great listen.. So long as you can get by the fact that the artist is going to end up in an insane asylum sooner rather than later. As I don't really listen to live radio all that often, I'm pretty often the last to hear of new artists. I had never heard of Amy Winehouse until she was on the front page of Rolling Stone. (Yes, I'm one of the last who still subscribe to RS. Shut up.) In the article, well, let's just say that she comes off as fairly nutso. In a "cutter", raging alcoholic, seriously mentally unstable, cross to the other side of the street when you see her sort of way.

Hearing the names of her songs did nothing to make me run out and buy her album. They sounded like typical weepy pop schmaltz of the oh no my boyfriend's left me variety.

Then I heard a couple of her songs, and was blown away. True, the lyrics are definitely of the typical weepy pop schmaltz of the oh no my boyfriend's left me variety, with the addition that she throws in the fact that she basically is drinking away all pain. And that everyone she knows wants her to go to rehab. So the lyrics are at best unimpressive. The voice though. Holy shit can this girl sing. She sounds like a cross between Macy Gray and Stevie Nicks, if they smoked a pack a day and drank way too much whiskey. Seriously, the voice is worth listening to, so long as you aren't bothered by the fact that these songs will be exhibit A on Amy Winehouse's VH1 Behind the Music any day now.

You heard it hear, well, not first.

Am I back? Am I really, really back?

2007-07-23T11:59:00.000-04:00

Maybe.

See, the problem is, it's Monday and I'm already out of things to write about. Fucking lame ass life and it's no story lines.

Part of my problem is, not surprisingly, exhaustion. I just got back at it again after 3 weeks off, the first time since I was 14 that I had that much time off. I enjoyed my time off. Really, really enjoyed my time off. Forcing myself to work again has been a grind.

See, our honeymoon spoiled the shit out of me. We went to one of those all-inclusive places in Mexico where they wait on you hand and foot, bringing you drinks, food, or anything else you want at all hours of the day. Instead of spending my days staring bleary eyed into a computer screen, I spent my days lazing by or in the pool, drinking Don Julio margaritas. If I was feeling powerfully motivated, I would play beach volleyball in the afternoon. Our hardest decision for seven days was, which restaurant should we go to, followed by should we go to the pool or the beach? (Actually the most difficult part of the trip was the toplessness of the sun bathing. Boobies were everywhere. And trust me, most of them were boobies that should have been left well under wraps. I felt like putting on my shirt in protest.)

So.. Needless to say re-adjusting myself to alarm clocks and deadlines has been a bit, well, shitty. Maybe it's time for another vacation.

Well. At least THAT'S done with

2007-07-20T13:11:00.000-04:00

So my many legions of fans have been knocking down my door screaming for more bloggity blog. While in the lead up to the wedding and it's aftermath (also known as a honeymoon), I was in no real shape to write anything even remotely entertaining. Unless you consider my slow disintegration into a babbling, drooling mess entertaining. (And yes, I know that most of you would be perfectly entertained by this. And I love you for it.)

So. The wedding. It's a weird thing being at your own wedding. There's really no way to prepare for it I guess, but it was still not like anything I expected. I was never really nervous, never had cold feet or anything like that. I was ready for a beer by the time we got mid way through the picture taking, but that's about it. Once we got to the reception it was really nothing but fun.

The only problem for me was that I didn't get a chance to hang out with some people as much as I wanted to. I didn't particularly feel like there was anyone I didn't see though. (Except the wifey. I couldn't keep up with her if my life depended on it. Everytime I almost caught up with her, someone would start talking to me, and I'd look up and she was on the other side of the room again. A lesser man than myself might have started to get a complex.)

People talk about how they can't remember things about their wedding, that it happened too fast. For me, that really wasn't the case. Things certainly weren't going by too quickly. Actually, it sometimes seemed like time wasn't moving at all. I'd like down at my phone for a time check, and it would be five minutes after the last time I checked, instead of the hours it felt like. When people started leaving, and it was time to go back to the hotel, it felt like about the right time.

As far as remembering things, I have plenty of vivid memories. (Some are a little too vivid, like John's vest/tie combo back at the hotel, followed by several tie/skin combos exhibited by several people. I think I just threw up in my mouth.)

But to be honest, almost all of the stress leading up to the wedding was worth it. We had a great time, and it seemed like everybody else did too. Thank god, because we thought that we had the real potential for a fuck show at a couple different points.

---

I'll write about the honeymoon another time. Let's just say that couples only/ all-inclusive is a great thing. Waiting for lines at Customs/Security/Check-in on the way back? Not as great of a thing.

---

So I'm back. Am I better than ever? Doubt it. Am I about the same? That's what it feels like to me right now, but I'm only in my second day back on the job. I still haven't adjusted to the ring on my finger, but the married part of it seems about the same. I still don't get to make any of my own decisions, and it's yet to be seen if God loves us anymore now that we are no longer living in sin. The wifey seems to be adapting to the new last name just fine, and no, we aren't becoming baby factories yet.

You stink and you smell and you look ridiculous

2007-04-10T14:14:00.000-04:00

Hmm

Looks like it's time for one of those, gee I really meant to write, I just haven't had the time, and oh I'm so soo Sorry posts. Seems like they're getting to be a habit, so I'll just refer you to my post from February 07, or December 06, or September 06, or.... let's just say the list is long.

Look. I'm a creature of routine. I'll write every day, so long as I write every day. The moment something comes up that stops me from writing for a day or two, BAM done for a week, or a month. This applies to everything else in my life. Meals, exercising, breathing, name it. OK, don't.

So. Anyways, I'll see if I can keep it up for a bit now that I should be back on a regularly routine schedule for the next month or so. If you don't see something tomorrow though, just remind me and I'll see if I can avoid waiting until May to write again.

---

For those of you who were/are fans of "Whose Line is it Anyways?" there's a new show out there: "Thank God You're Here." There were two episodes on last night, and the first one was laugh out loud funny almost all the way through, and the second one was closer to kind of funny the whole way through. Still better odds than most of the pieces of shite that pass for comedy these days.

That's it for today. I'm open for suggestions as to future topics. I have a few things that I've been meaning to write about that I'll get to over the course of the next couple days, but most of them are more comments that aren't really worth a whole entry. So I might just take care of them all at once on Friday, or I might spread them out. Either way, if you have any ideas let me know.

Whirlwind weekend

2007-03-19T11:32:00.000-04:00

Oh Monday, Monday, Monday. You piece of shit whore you.

Seems more and more all the time like I close my eyes for a brief "only resting my eyes it's not really a nap" nap at work on Friday afternoon, and I wake up and it's Monday morning, and back to the grind. Sigh. So sad, so sad.

Saturday was a whirlwind filled with epic, enchilada and Guiness fueled drunkenness, topped by a vicious hangover on Sunday. Ugh. So sad, so sad.

More about the drunkenness later, but first the enchiladas. Perfectly crispy on the outside, full of cheesy and meaty goodness on the inside, these were primo enchiladas. Nice work Miss Major.

Saturday started off fine, with some coffee and lounging around in the early morning. Mimosas followed, and led gradually into Guiness and Enchiladas. (A combination that should be tried by all.) In the back of my mind I was pacing myself constantly, reminding myself that St. Patrick's Day is a marathon, not a sprint. By the time we left for the bars at around 3ish, I had nursed my way though maybe three beers and a couple of mimosas. So far so good.

Then we get to the bar, where the crowd is raucous with drunkenness and a weird, somewhat angry energy. RiRa's is packed to the rafters with boozers, and it seems like everyone wants a Guiness at once. Being an idiot, I forget my plan to pace myself and decide the only way to deal the lines is to order two beers at once. A great idea in theory, right? Wrong. Lesson number 1: Beer in hand will be drank at the same pace whether or not it's one beer or two.

Fast forward several hours, and I am a slobbery, drunken mess. Fast forward several more hours, and we are home again, scarfing enchiladas and lapsing into food comas that gradually slip into a night's sleep. Lesson number two: After eating enchiladas and drinking beer all night, it is very, very important to brush your teeth.

Woke up with a vague feeling of disorientation, plus a smell coming from my mouth could only be described as rancid. I vaguely suspect that a buzzard has pooped in my mouth. God damn you buzzard! You mouth shitter you!

First things first, I need to move, but can't. Lesson Number three: The heaviest object on an air mattress will actually be sleeping on the floor.

Some time later, I've managed to stand up, and make my way to the first of many trips to the bathroom. I contemplate pulling the trigger, but don't. Largely due to the fact that I'm afraid I will actually puke up my small intestine, and that would be embarrassing.

Fast forward ahead ten hours or so, and my almost wife and I have finally completed the extremely dangerous trek back to the north. Dangerous because of the wind, and dangerous because I was using toothpicks to prop open my eyes. Plus, despite multiple scrubbings of my teeth, the air inside my car was getting a little thick. Let's just say that every time we stopped I kept looking to see if the dogface had shit herself. She hadn't. Goddamn you buzzard.

Goddamn you buzzard.

Clearly UMaine doesn't get it

2007-03-16T09:17:00.000-04:00

So much for the faint glimmer of optimism.

Sitting at the sports bar last night, watching the news. Headline story? Not anything about peace marches or Alberto Gonzalez's lying ass. Nope. Headline story for the local news was the fact that UMaine has sold the rights for radio broadcasts of sporting events to Clearchannel. For financial reasons, supposedly. Never mind the fact that the radio station that held the rights for year did a pretty decent job. Never mind the fact that the owner of said radio station is Stephen King, one of the biggest doners to UMaine. Oh, and apparently Mr. King was rightfully bullshit mad. So long big donor to UMaine.

Pay a little attention to the fact that UMaine has once again sold their soul in a short sighted cash grab. Once again, UMaine is ignoring the fact that they should be supporting local industry, not the media conglomorate with no actual interest in anything local.

You would think Clear Channel bid more at least. Nope. There was no real bid. Just the promise of being on in more areas. That's not the point. Nor is it really the point that UMaine should be trying to get along with Stephen King. Although, for all the altruism that King has shown the University, it wouldn't have bothered me if that was at least a factor. Nope. The point is, as it was with the Coke deal ten years ago, once again UMaine has made an assanine, short-sighted deal, for no real reason.

Looks like President Kennedy is no more forward looking than President Hoff.

Fighting off generation apathy

2007-03-15T11:18:00.000-04:00

A little bit of everything today my people. I got back in from DC yesterday afternoon, bleary eyed as hell after 4 days of arguing, debating, and staying up too late. No, it wasn't a flashback to York Hall. Nope, I was engaging in the political process. Every year, representatives of the programs I work for come from every state, and many islands, to DC. We meet for three days, combing leadership training with political analysis (by actual experts, not me.) On the fourth day, we go to the hill and meet with our legislators, bringing alumni from programs, as well as key issues affecting us. It's an exhausting yet rewarding experience, that in my case gives me some much needed faith in the political process, while still souring me on parts of the process. I talk enough about the politics of things that bother me though, so today is going to be in the vein of John's Notpocalypse.

The visits
In Maine, we are lucky when it comes to the programs that I work for. All of our members of Congress are big supporters of our programs, especially Senator Collins, who has been a big voice in maintaining our status after the budget cuts of the past few years. This year, she is co-sponsoring a letter once again, this time asking for an increase to help make up for the flat funding of the last years. During our visit she was on the floor, defending a bill. Her staff brought us down to the little room adjascent to the Senate Hearing room (this is the room you see in C-Span as you channel surf), and she took the time to come in and talk to us for a bit. Say what you want about any legislator, but it's amazing how fast they have to shift gears. Within 15 minutes, Senator Collins was having detailed conversations about rights for Firefighters, education issues for low-income students, and immigration rights. (Coherently no less.) Needless to say, I can't ever write a three paragraph blog entry coherently.

One other thing that was impressive about the visits was how relatively easy they were to schedule. In Maine anyways. Some other states tell of getting the run around, or having never met with their legislators. For us, it was simply a matter of calling up the office and asking nicely. When they weren't as familiar with us, they asked for more information first. That seems fair. The whole time we were in the offices, there was a constant stream of people. Some were basically lobbyists, like us, but others were families visiting from Maine or aides from other offices. Without fail, everyone was dealt with at the least politely.

The Aides
One of the most impressive things about visiting the offices of any legislator, is the aides. Generally, they range in age from 20 - 25. There are usually an aid or two that are a bit older, like the Chief of Staffs and that sort. Still, the average age has to be under 25. They work crazy hours, and get paid next to nothing. (Especially when you take into account that they live in DC, one of if not the most expensive cities in the US.)

And you know what? They all seem to love their jobs. Sure, it looks good on a law school application to have worked in a Senators office. But that alone couldn't explain it. Most of these people excelled in college, and could most likely get any job or into most schools. Many, I'm sure, are interested in eventually running for an office themselves. In talking to one of the aides, it was very interesting. She was talking about how she liked working on the education issues, because it was exciting. Exciting to work on important issues.

Could it be that it's not our whole generation that's suffering from apathy? Watching the aides in the offices, and the other young people that were out, like myself, lobbying for education issues, while on vacation time, I felt, for just a moment like there might be some hope for our future. Not a ton of hope maybe, but even the slightest glimmer of hope is an improvement for me.

Jobs just don't seem to be getting any better

2007-03-08T13:10:00.000-05:00

Big plans this afternoon my people. Once again, we are celebrating the end of a job for Jason. Pretty sure we've done this three times this year already, but whatever. If that's what it takes to get us out of the house, that's what it takes.

Some people it appears, have a natural optimism that the next job will be the best one. Me? Not so much. In order, I've been a lawnmower, a babysitter, an umpire, a lifeguard, a librarian, a worker on an assembly line, free lance writer, project manager? (yeah, what was that I did at ASAP again?), and now I suppose I am basically a database and web designer. If I were to rank those jobs in order for enjoyment, I think it would go a little something like this:

Lifeguard - Seriously, it doesn't get much better than this.
Whatever it was I did at ASAP. Web design, project planning, writing grants, it was probably the perfect job for me at the perfect time. Even if I had to put up with Goody's shit way too often.
Free lance writer (Started working in their office in Princeton, and then continued on from Orono. Pretty interesting and well paying job, basically I had to do research on foreign countries and write travel reports for businessman and expatriates living on those countries.
Current job
Librarian - Not a bad job really, at least I don't think so. Honestly, one of the only things I remember about this job was Luke coming in and harrassing me with his mad up dance - The Library Shuffle.
Assembly Line worker - A friends father got me a job boxing boxes. The work was completely and utterly mind numbingly boring, plus there was the added bonus that I had to be on the line at 7, and with NJ rush hour traffic it used to take me an hour to get there. The saving grace was that I was the only one on the line with a full grasp of English, and trying to talk to everyone else was just interesting enough to keep me from going fully crazy.
lawnmower - Boring, boring, boring.
umpire - Little league parents are just barely human beings.
baby sitter - Let's just say that shitty diapers make this last by a long shot.

Barring the possibility that someone is going to pay me big bucks to lie in the sun and work on my tan, I'd say that I've already had my best job. In fact, looking back at that list, I'd be shocked if any jobs that I might have in the future might make the top 3.

A bit depressing really, but I have a sneaking suspicion that a lot of other people aren't currently working a "top three" job. Hell, with Jason, just cracking his five for this year is hard enough.

Handicapping the candidates..

2007-03-07T12:18:00.000-05:00

Has there ever been an election, even at the early state of this election, with so many legitimate candidates that would be precedent setting? Feasibly, in January 2009, we could be introduced to our first woman President, or the first African-American president, or the first Hispanic President. (Hey, we've even got a Mormon running this time! How cute.) This in a country that has only had one president who wasn't a male, white, and Protestant. (That would be JFK, the only Catholic president we've ever had. And it's not as if he was an outsider.) We've had female candidates before, and we've had black candidates before. Hell, we've even had black female candidates before.

So this must be progress, right? Is this another of John's notpocalypse's? I'm just not sure. Race has certainly been an issue for Barack Obama. Oddly, he has been accused of being "too white." It's not a big stretch to see that what he is really being called is an "Uncle Tom." I'd hardly consider that a sign of any sort of progress.

So is it progress in gender relations that Hillary Clinton is a viable candidate for President? Possibly. There have been powerful woman politicians for some time. (For example, Margaret Chase Smith, whose portraits are all over the Senate House, and, by the way, who was also a candidate for President at one point.) I think in evaluating Hillary Clinton's candidacy as progress, you need to look, at least in part, at the way she is covered in the press. In my mind, Hillary gets a tough go of it in the press, especially in regards to her personality. Hillary is often referred to as cold, or vicious; i.e. bitchy. Male candidates with relatively similar personality issues (driven, stubborn, bad temper) include, well, most of the candidates for president. Still, Clinton has managed to at least somewhat be seen on her own as a political figure. No small achievement considering the size of the shadow cast by her husband. This alone should probably be considered some progress.

So does the makeup of the candidates serve as a sign of progress in this country? Maybe. Real progress will be seen when it's not newsworthy that we have minority candidates or female candidates. Color me as one person who will still be shocked if we end up in 2009 with anyone who doesn't fit the standard of straight, married, upperclass protestant male.

Feeling a little crazy here

2007-03-06T13:32:00.000-05:00

Someday I'm going to write about the good things about my job. There are a few good things mixed in with all day to day shit that drives me crazy. Someday I'll complile a list and write about them. Someday.

One of the weirder things about working where I work is most noticeable this time of year. In most offices around the US, I imagine people are starting to get excited about basketball. You know, March Madness? The small little college basketball tournament which just so happens to be the biggest gambling event of every year?

I would imagine soon there will be office pools being passed around, daily commiserating at the water cooler about Cincinatti's (or know K-State's) surprising early round loss, and shared excitement about this year's George Mason. Not so much in my office. In fact, I'm pretty sure that I'm the only person in my office that has even heard of Kevin Durant, Joachim Noah, or Greg Oden. (In a related story, I am also the only Celtics fan in the office.)

Nope. No sports in this office. If you want to hold a conversation with people in this office, it better be about babies, politics, or the rising price of gas. (Of course, everyone checks in daily on the status of the wedding planning. This, they understand.) Needless to say, talking about fantasy sports is a no go.

As I haven't been fired or quit my job yet, looks like I should be prepared for another March Madness of cheering alone in my office, sadly watching scores scroll by on the ESPN score updater thingy, letting out barely audible wahoos whenever there's an upset. Sweetness.

Don't look know...

2007-03-05T12:54:00.000-05:00

No grab bag on Friday, I was too busy not working and nursing a small to medium sized hangover to do write anything. Remember hearing rumors about UMaine not cancelling classes? Falsehoods. Might have been try when everyone who went to school there lived there, but nowadays UMaine cancels classes like a high school. So, as of 3 o'clock on Thursday I knew I wouldn't have to work on Friday. Also, there is a new sports bar in town. Add those two things together and smush them around a bit, and you can figure out what my Thursday night was like.

The rest of my enforced long weekend was good, but not as eventful. See, we're old. Going out two times in a weekend isn't really recommended anymore. Might cause intestinal problems, not to mention irrecoverable hangovers.

---

Don't look now, but the Celts can't lose. Way to play your way out of last place! I get shit for it, but I still have optimism for this team. Add one more star, and this is a team that compete in the East. Shut up Jason, I can hear you snickering from here.

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Went up to camp on Sunday. We're getting a fair amount of work done, so it was time to check it out. Check out the pics below.

A new arrival

2007-03-01T12:44:00.000-05:00

Well now.

The campaign is off to a slightly rocky start, thanks to Joe noticing I'm not old enough, John noticing that I'm too Italian, and the almost wife not allowing me to screw any interns. My brother on the other hand, is definitely going to be my press secretary.

If these are the only things holding me back, I think my campaign can surmount them. Even if the almost wife isn't going to allow me to sleep my way to the top.

---

Woke up today feeling ok. Sounds small, but generally I wake up and I'm either a) cranky as shit because I haven't slept all night, or b) cranky as shit because my back hurts.

Don't get me wrong, I still wouldn't say I slept well, but I did at least sleep last night, and I can actually sit up straight today without my back screaming at me. Which is nice. Remember the days when we could play basketball all day, drink all night, sleep through class the next morning, and repeat? And there would be no repercussions? (Other than accidentally infuriating some pretentious poser in the English department, who was most likely going to try to make me explain how the theme of some book was a pre-cursor to the post-modernist feminist movement. Somehow, I don't think I was missing much be skipping class to either sleep or play basketball. Both my body and my mind are still thankful.)

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One last thing for today, I heard through the grapevine last night that there might be a new Goodwin in the world. Miss Molly Goodwin, welcome to the world, and good luck dealing with your father. You're going to need it. You're mom on the other hand? She's a saint. (Proof for this is the fact that she always picked up your father from our parties after we accidentally got him completely and utterly intoxicated.)

You know what? I think I'll run for president too.

2007-02-28T12:15:00.000-05:00

As of February 12, there are 17 candidates for president who have filed with the Federal Elections Commission (FEC). This list includes: Joseph Biden (D), Samuel Brownback (R), Hillary R. Clinton (D), Christopher J. Dodd (D), John Edwards (D), James Gilmore III (R), Rudolph Giuliani (R), Mike Gravel (D), Duncan Hunter (R), Dennis Kucinich (D), John McCain (R), Barack Obama (D), Bill Richardson (D), Mitt Romney (R), Tom Tancredo (R), Tommy Thompson (R), Thomas Vilsack (D)

This list doesn't include some people who are thought to be interested in running, including: Al Gore (D), Wesley Clark (D), Al Sharpton (D), Mike Huckabee (R), Ron Paul (R), Newt Gingrich (R), and Chuck Hagel (R).

This list also doesn't include 19 other candidates from other parties, including candidates from the Constitution Party, Green Party, and Libertarian Party.

This makes for a total list of official (or close to official) presidential candidates totaling 43.

I repeat. As of February 12th, there were 43 candidates for President of the United States.

---

So what's one more? I think I'll run for President.

Problem Number 1:
My primary problem that I am facing, as I see it, is this (approximate) statement from the chairman of the FEC: To be taken seriously, a candidate must raise $100 million.

Holy Fuck!!!!

If you took the grand sum of the yearly salaries of everyone that I have ever met in my life, I'm not sure it would total $100 million. According to preliminary estimates, this election will cost over 1 billion dollars! No wonder many people feel like we have a government of the (rich) people, by the (rich) people, for the (rich) people.

Problem Number 2: Campaign slogan.

I think I've got this down. My campaign slogan is going to be simple: No more fucking up.

If elected, I will not bang any interns, and I will not bomb any middle eastern countries unless they really, really, deserve it. I will not increase the national deficit to the point where my children will owe an unpayable debt.

I will not be bribed, I will not sleep with little boys. Or little girls.

Sounds simple enough right? I think I've got a winner here.

Oh there may be more problems, but never feel my people. I still have a year and half before the election.

Podcasts and booboos

2007-02-27T09:22:00.000-05:00

Hello Boys and Girls

Playing a little hurt today, but I'm about as tough as it gets, so it's ok. Who's that laughing? I'll sick the dog on you.

Thanks to some melting snow/ice from the roof, the front steps of the mansion were pretty much sheer ice. Rushing down the stairs to take the mutt out to yellow up the snow, while simultaneously talking to my parents on phone, and wearing pretty much traction-less shoes, might have been seen, by a lesser human being, as a recipe for disaster. Exceptionally balanced and graceful individuals such as myself rarely think of "traction" or "Hey, I might fall down the stairs if I'm not careful." Well, color me shocked when for once my super human balance failed me, and I went down the front steps ass over tea kettle.

While my dignity had taken a beating, my pinkie took a worse one. not sure if it's broken or not, but it is kind of swollen and purple today. Thanks to having broken most of my fingers before, and thanks to my overall toughness as a human being, I didn't cry like a little girl. I thought about it though.

---

In keeping with new re-organization of the blog, Tuesday's are all about "Entertainment." Maybe tv, maybe movies, maybe sports. Most of these things only interest me. Sometimes I might attempt to write a relatively serious film or book critique. Others I might talk about what sort of embarrassing tv shows I'm sucked into these days.

Today? No long dissertations on anything, just a list of a few podcasts worth checking out if, like me, you like sports talk radio. Now, I understand completely people who hate sports talk radio. Is it completely useless? Possibly. Are most hosts borderline morons? Yes. Accepting all of these things as true, here is a list of some Sports podcasts that don't always suck.

Pardon the Interruption - Sometimes great, usually good. Same as the tv show. Usually about 25 minutes or so.
Mike and Mike in the Morning - A fat guy and a metro-sexual talk sports. Surprisingly entertaining, even if they have Dick Vitale on to scream once a week. 30 plus minutes
Dan Patrick Show - Dan Patrick is an annoyingly pompous past his prime putz. That said, sometimes he has on some pretty entertaining guests. Desperately needs a co-host, sometimes Keith Olberman fits the bill. 15 minutesish
ESPN Daily Dish - ESPN basketball writer Chad Ford and a few others interview basketball GMs and others to talk about various issues. Usually 10 minutes or less.
Baseball America - Reviews minor league and college baseball players, farm systems, and the baseball draft. Anywhere from 20 - 60 minutes.
Tony Kornheiser Show - From his Washington Post radio show, Tony doesn't really talk a ton about sports, but for fans of his old ESPN show, it's nice to have him back. 60 - 90 minutes.

All of the above update daily. Some of them suck for the most part but are interesting sometimes, others are generally worth listening to, others are at best good background noise.

Refocusing the blog

2007-02-26T15:39:00.000-05:00

Hi!

Feels like every time I write a blog these days I need to write an apology, or an explanation for why I haven't been writing all that frequently.

No apologies this time, my reason for not writing this time is pretty straight-forward: I've been busy as hell at work. I have started several, maybe 5, blog entries in the past month or so, but I haven't been able to finish them to my (admittedly low) standards. I don't care to edit for spelling or grammar, but coherence is nice. Also, depending on the topic, I need to make sure I agree with what I wrote. Sometimes the brain isn't meaning what the fingers are typing, if you know what I mean!

Still, writing a daily blog has proven to be something I'm not capable of doing consistently. Generally, time is not the issue. While there are times of the year when I don't have time to write a decent blog entry, they are few. No, generally the problem for me is that I can't narrow down what I want to write about.

So, I've decided to change up the format a little bit. I'm going to try to stick to a system of writing about certain things on certain days of the week. I have generally written about the same sorts of things since I started this up, and I'll stick to the same sorts of things now. There will just be (hopefully) a little more structure. I haven't decided on anything definitely, but along the lines of what I was thinking was:

Monday - Most likely, anything I write about on Monday will in some way involve a rant about how much I hate Monday's.

Tuesday - Media. This could include a book or a movie review, TV recommendations, etc. Also where I would write about sports.

Wednesday - Politics. Generally mid-week I am smarter than I am on Monday's or Friday's, so this might be the best day to tackle thorny subjects.

Thursday - Being our age. This is where I will (maybe) write about things that occur to me that have changed, or are changing, for people my age.

Friday - Mish mosh of things, on a day when my brain is generally mush. Probably will include some things such as plans (or lack thereof) for the weekend, ranting about the long, boring week just concluded, etc.

Weekends - If I ever write a blog on the weekends, I hope it is about what I pathetic loser I am, and how I have no life. While I would like to think this could never possibly happen, expect one soon.

Thoughts? Fire away in the comments section. I'm certainly game for ideas, reprimands, or mockery.

Not of my generation

2007-01-26T12:54:00.000-05:00

All of my thinking about the success and failure of generations the last few days started me thinking. What defines a generation? Our parents were/are generally baby boomers, depending on their age. But us? I was unsure. So I pulled up the list of generations page at wikipedia. You can imagine my reaction when I found out that I am grouped with the MTV generation. Fuck. My generation is named after a tv channel best represented by brainless bimbos with fake boobs, willing to hump anyone in order to get their 15 fleeting seconds of fame. Great. Other option? The Boomerang generation, named after a group of people who moved in with their parents after college. No wonder I feel pessimism about my generation. We can't even figure out how to get our own apartments.

---

I submit that if my generation has to be named after a tv channel, that it might as well be ESPN. At least I can feel a little ownership there.

More realistically, couldn't we be the CNN generation? I mean, isn't the onset of the 24 hour news channel more groundbreaking than the Real World? Maybe MTV was culturally important back in the days of Yo MTV Raps, and back when they actually played music videos? I mean, I still have fondness for a certain Chris Isaac video.

Seriously, I feel like we need a new label for people our age. The one thing that resonated in the description of the Boomerang Generation, was that we grew up during the onset of AIDS, and came of age post-9/11. Not that I want to be a part of the AIDS generation, or a part of the Police State generation, but at least I could relate to it.

State of the onion; taking a deuce

2007-01-25T15:10:00.000-05:00

Debbie downer here, trying to bring a little optimism today. I just got out of a two hour conference call followed by a three hour meeting, so.. Acting out some optimism might be a stretch. Putzing around the house last night, I was thinking about what I wrote yesterday. And also thinking "Man are we fucked." And I still feel that way. At the same time, I couldn't help but think that there must be some things that have improved from our parent's generation to ours.

So, loosely defining these things as things that have happened since about 1955, I tried to come up with a list. It's not pretty, but hopefully it will at least in some ways balance my pessimism from yesterday.

Medical Care has improved. I'm not talking about the cost of healthcare, or insurance, or even necessarily the availability. Nope. Those things have not, in my mind at least, improved. No, I'm talking about straightforward cures of diseases. At least in the US. If you live in Africa or parts of Asia, sorry, you're still fucked.

Liz, if you know otherwise, don't tell me. I'm grasping at straws here.

Access to information has improved. With the coming of the internet, anyone with access to a computer can get access to any information you could possibly desire. (Unless, of course, you live in China. Sorry, no free speech for you.) Of course, there is an equal amount of false information out there, and most people have a hard time telling the difference.
Porn. This is one thing that has indusputibly improved. One thing the dawn of the internet has brought us is free access to plenty of smut. Even in Asia.
More sports on TV. When our parents were our age, there was no ESPN, no NESN. There was one game on a week. Otherwise, you listened to the radio.
Speaking of TV, our parents generation has brought us cable tv. Thanks to this wonderful invention, I can know see the truth being distorted on 15 different channels!

I'm really stretching it here... Thinking.... Thinking...

Seriously, there must be other things that have improved in the last 50 years, right? I mean, smut, sports and the world wide web are great and all, but as landmark achievements for a generation, I'm not so sure they're going to stand the test of time.

So much for optimism. Maybe I'll try again tomorrow.

State of the onion

2007-01-24T15:46:00.001-05:00

I tried to watch the State of the Union. I really did. I spent part of the day preparing myself mentally for what I was going to hear. I bought some wine, you know, as a crutch to get through the applause. I even turned on the tv.

When it came right down to it, I just couldn't do it. Not because of the President's policies (which I by an large hate.) Nope. I couldn't subject myself to listening to one of if not the worst public speakers this country has ever had in a president. Look, Reagan had his faults as a President. (Actually, he had a shit-ton of faults as a president.) At the very least however, Reagan could deliver the lines that were scripted for him. Our current bad president can't even convince me that he knows what the words are he's reading. God I miss the days of Clinton. You could question his morality, you could question his politics, but you couldn't question his intelligence.

---

So, what is the State of the Union today? Lacking a president with a firm grasp of his public, the task of assessing our countries mood falls, once again, to me. And in my mind, our country is in a very dangerous place right now. As a Super power, as a Democracy, you name it. For the first time since the founding of our country, our parent's generation is passing off to us a country that is in worse shape than the one they inherited. I dread seeing what we will pass on to our kids.

There is a very real chance that free speech will be a historical anecdote
We may live in a police state
Given the way global warming is accelerating, we may need to put on SPF 100 just to leave the house.
Finding a job and career path that can lead to financial security as well as personal happiness will be a fiction
War may become just another part of the daily news, in addition to stabbings, murders, and drug busts.

Think about that list. How many of those things have we improved upon in recent memory? How many of those things are already a fact of life today?

So.. What is the State of our Union today? Pretty fucking weak if you ask me.

Screw you Persia

2007-01-17T14:00:00.000-05:00

Debates are fun, debates about whether or not Iraq is Persia are not.

From Wikipedia:

"The Persian empire has become as what we know today as Iran."

Sorry Joey. I didn't particular have an opinion on the debate, but I did have enough curiosity to spend five seconds looking it up.

Fighting my own apathy

2007-01-12T14:12:00.000-05:00

Reading Johnson's blog entry the other day made me wonder what's wrong with me. Once upon a time, and it wasn't that long ago, I could watch the news and have an opinion about quite a few of things going on. Not only could I have an opinion, but I could generally articulate an argument.

Now? I can't recall the last time I watched the news. It's been even longer since I've watched the news and felt anything resembling surprise. Amish student brings gun to school, shoots 10. No reasons given. Huh. Bush eats a piece of shit he found on his farm? Not surprising. California fell into the Pacific, Republicans feel this helps them in the upcoming Presidential election. I believe it. Seriously, I think the only thing left that could surprise me is if they started telling positive stories on Cable News. Teacher loved by his students. That's a headline that would surprise me, unless of course it was closely followed by, He loved them a little too much, if you know what I mean.

Where did all my apathy come from? Could be 9/11. In a very real way, that was the last time I actually engaged myself in the news. Could be Bush's re-election in 2004. The amazing lack of historical perspective that went into the inasion of Iraq is a distinct possibility as well. In all reality though, I'm sure it was all of these events and their coverage, combined with a couple of other factors that led to my general not-giving of a shit.

1. The collective dumbing down of conservatism. Seriously, the fact that people think being against gay rights or abortion makes them politically conservative is disgusting to me. (Never mind the fact that in the year 2007 we are still having debates with supposedly intelligent people arguing over whether or not a segment of our population has the right to marry eachother.) This is not to say that liberalism is in better shape, but liberals piss me off less than religious zealots masquerading as a false conservative.

2. It's becoming increasingly obvious to me, that my vote does not matter. At least I don't live in a state like Ohio or Florida, where peoples votes aren't even being counted before they're ignored.

3. My job bores me.

Throw all those things in a blender. mix until smooth. What have you got? Me asleep on the couch, feet up, mouth open, puddle of drool forming, remote in hand, thumb permanently on the channel up button, with dreams of sugarplums floating in my head.

Aww, screw it. I'm going home.

Last gasp of the twenties

2007-01-05T14:59:00.000-05:00

Hard as it is for me to believe, I'm turning 29 this year. I'm looking smack dab in the face of the end of my twenties, and the beginning of my thirties. Just seems like this should feel different somehow, more momentus. I mean, shouldn't the world stop and look and collectively gasp at how such a young looking individual as myself could possibly be entering the tail end of his late twenties? "Can't be!" people should be saying, or "He doesn't look a day over 22!"

I'm waiting people.

OK, it's possible that the sideburns going gray, and the hairs falling out of the top of my head are giving people the physical reminders of what my years are. But mentally? Surely people all around the world should be stopping and taking notice of my boyish personality, my gawkish innocence, my... OK, that seems a stretch.

Looking back a decade seems an eternity. I was 19, and getting ready to enter the second semester of my second year at UMaine. I was living in the dorms in a double-single, and no doubt trying to convince myself that this, THIS! would be the semester when I would finally (re)dedicate myself to my classes. Also, as it is 3:10 on a Friday, I was probably already well into a case of busch bar bottles (our afternoon beers) in Robinson's room, passing time playing NBA Hangtime until the dining commons opened for dinner. Oh, and I had a beard and long hair. Surprisingly, I was single.

Now? I'm getting married in June, and to be honest, the thought isn't really all that scary anymore, in fact it's more reassuring than anything. I own a house, a truck, and a dog. I've worked for the same place since April 2000, and have been promoted a couple dubious times. If my hair gets longer than two inches, I start to feel shaggy, and I shave once a week whether or not I need it.

Looking forward to ten years from now, I'm not sure what would surprise me. Kids? Wouldn't surprise me. New job (s)? Hell, if you offered me one today I just might take it. Same truck? Why not? It's a toyota. Hair? Yup, having hair in ten years would surprise me.

Oh well, I'm off to enjoy the last gasp of 28. By which, of course, I mean that I'm going to go play some raquet ball.

Dragging my ass through the day

2006-12-21T11:15:00.000-05:00

Is it this way for everyone?

I woke up this morning, and the thought of going to work made me hide under my pillow. Fortunately the dogface thought this was a game, and tried to join me under the pillow. Stupid dogface, I'm trying to hide from the world here!

Fuck. With hiding out as an option, I had to actually get up and try to clear off my work plate for before the holidays. This may require talking to people, which will require patience, which, right now? Seems a bit out of the question.

I am absolutely just dragging right now. I'm not "tired" exactly, I actually slept ok last night, and it's only 11 or so and I still have some relatively warm coffee. I'm just flat out fucking sick of being at work. The thought that I have 5 more hours makes me very, very sad. Is this the way it is for everyone?

Thank god for the holidays. Not that they're going to relax me at all, what with driving all over New England and sleeping in beds designed for Little People. Still, I would do just about anything for a break from work right now. My goals for the rest of today are simple: I would like to not lose my fricking mind. What there is left of it.

Sometimes it takes a miracle...

2006-12-20T13:57:00.000-05:00

So. I haven't written in a while. I'm aware of this. Why? I've got a lot going on, I'm a busy guy, my computer was broken, my brain was broken, the F wouldn't let me, the dogface ate my homework. There were all kinds of reasons I couldn't chime in daily with my highly (questionably) witty comments on the goings on of the world.

But finally, an occasion has arisen (arose? arosen?) that can break me out of my no-blogging slump.

ROCKY BALBOA

That's right, the Italian Stallion is back baby. And from all reports, he is actually bigger than ever. (By bigger, I mean larger, not better.)

The reviews have actually been fairly kind to Rocky VI. Coming almost a decade after the steaming pile of donkey shit that was Rocky V, Rocky VI goes back to the roots of Rocky. Back to the meat factory, back to the dirty, rugged Philadelphia of the original Rocky. I'm not going to do a review of the movie, largely because I haven't seen it yet. But I'm excited. Real excited. I grew up on the Rocky movies, and have varying levels of love for all of them (except V, which is a steaming pile of donkey shit.)

Rocky (1976)- The best actual movie of them all. Sometimes it's forgotten that this movie came out to the perfect storm of the Bicentennial driven patriotic fervor of 1976. (I can state this for a fact, having been born two years later.) Regardless, Rocky won an Oscar and announced to the world the presence of the next great filmmaker, Sylvester Stallone.

Rocky II (1979) - Surprising dated, yet still a great movie. Coming on the heels of movies with the taglines of: The Carboni Boys. They haul ice, lay out stiffs and dance with monkeys. and A love story between a man, a country, the people he led and the woman he loved, It's very hard for me to imagine why Sly would have wanted to make a sequel to Rocky.

Rocky III (1982)- Starring Mr. T as a scary, scary black man who was in no way inspired by Mike Tyson. But only because Tyson's career started three years after this. A great movie. Tyson, I mean Mr. T, was very convincing. Plus, we get to see how small Sly Stallone is when he wrestles Hulk Hogan. Movies Sly made between Rocky II and III included Victory, a WWII soccer story co-starring Pele and Nighthawks, where Sly stars as "Deke DaSilva, the most dangerous cop known to man."

Rocky IV (1985) - As Bill Simmons puts it, This movie may have single-handedly ended the cold war. And no matter how cheesy this is, I dare you to watch the whole thing without getting goosebumps at the end.

Very rarely have a character and it's actor been so tightly aligned throughout the entire span of a series of movies. With the Rocky movies, Sly takes us on a journey from poor blue collar worker in Rocky to rich prima donna in Rocky III, back down to the bottom of the career and life path with the brain-damaged (on many levels) Rocky V. My hope, and from what I read it might just be the case, is that Rocky VI or Rocky Balboa, will find Rocky where Sly is. An old, former superstar prize fighter/oscar winner, no longer in their prime, but still with a puncher's chance to tell one last great story/fight one last great fight.

---

This blog was for Gushee, and all the times he made me watch all of these fucking movies. Don't worry, the Transformers the Movie entry is coming soon.

OK, let's get political.

2006-09-14T10:58:00.000-04:00

Actually, I'll just let Keith Olberman do it for me. And I thought John was on the watch list.

Watch the video on this page.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6210240/

Mojy Toes

2006-09-11T13:21:00.000-04:00

Wow.

Another weekend where I'm more tired going out of it than going into it. Fortunately I got not one fucking thing done on the house. Let's just say that Saturday night about a gallon and a half of rum was consumed way too quickly. Gotta love the mojitos. Needless to say, motivation was not at all time high on Sunday, despite the suspicious lack of hangover.

---

So the sports blog has been started up. Right now I'm going with Dog Face Sports as the name, until I can think of something better.

Blog Abandonment?

2006-09-08T12:04:00.000-04:00

Wow

I didn't realize it had been a month and a half. Time flies when you're having fun. Or is it, time flies when you're spending all of your free time at camp drinking beers and floating in inner tubes? Or possibly, time flies when you're spending all your free time attempting to finish a project that should have taken about a week, and instead is taking months?

Anyhoo, I haven't intentionally abandoned the blog, and will be making vague attempts at writing more often. My goal is to write at least once a week. I have also been thinking about starting up a sports blog that I would post shorter, more frequent blogs. I'll post a link up and email it around when I get it going.

---

So to update those of you who I haven't seen or talked to recently, I got engaged last weekend. (Which raises the question, what should I call the gf now? Something tells me the "F" wouldn't really fly all that well. Maybe "The new boss, same as the old boss?") I was amazed by how quickly the wedding planning began. About five minutes after I popped the question, the boss was on the phone with her mother planning locations, dates, guest lists, etc. Personally? I was opening up the second bottle of wine.

More later, I'm sure.

Woe is me, woe is me

2006-07-17T15:51:00.000-04:00

I know I haven't been writing much. There's a good reason for that. I just don't know what it is.

Went up to camp again this weekend. As it was 90 plus and humid, this wasn't what I would call an optional trip. It was a good weekend, lots of floating, reading, and some beers mixed in. (FYI, Goody, reading is when you move a book in front of your eyes while interpreting the data. Just didn't want to leave you out.) Also mixed in some productivity yesterday when Z came up. He had cut a piece of granite for us, so we installed that in the bathroom. Looks pretty sweet, so the gf and I were psyched. Fur face? Not as psyched. Tonight I plan to finally finish prepping the office/second bedroom and get to the painting. More likely, I will go home from work and take a nappy nap, wake up, eat, and go back to sweat/sleep.

I wish I was still at camp.

Restful? Not so much.

2006-07-10T13:12:00.000-04:00

Productive? More or less.

We needed a productive weekend around the house I suppose. Between my class, Anna teaching summer school, and weekends up at camp, it had been some time since we had actually accomplished anything at camp. Fortunately, I had left my lawn mower up at camp the last time we were there, so I didn't have to worry about mowing.

Friday was our friend Jason's birthday, so we went out to the pub for some eats and a few beers. Let's just say productivity didn't ensue immediately. Since we had already hit up Target, Home Depot, and Parks Hardware to pick up supplies right after work, I was ok with a brief pause in productivity.

Sat. Morning, we woke up fairly early and got to work cleaning the downstairs. After cleaning the kitchen, we took back bottles from the last few weekends at camp. Not a pretty sight. Why is it then whenever you're returning an embarrassing amount of alcohol to the redemption center that there is always a small impressionable child there looking at you accusingly? Or does this just happen to me? Whatever. After this, went home and got to work in the garden. So far, the garden is only in OK shape. Since Anna is working this summer, we're not putting quite the same level of attention in. Still, it's not in bad shape. We have some cukes, beans, peppers, carrots, lettuce, jalapeno's, onions, garlic, potatoes, thyme, rosemary, and basil. Oh, we also have a small tomato plant, which is a big change from last year's gargantuan 10 tomato plants.

Anyways, we spent some time in the garden, building a third raised bed, planting more carrots, and mounding the potatoes. While the gf was planting carrots, I turned over the compost. 15 gallons of sweat later, we stopped for lunch.

Post-lunch, we attacked my office. We had tentative plans to paint Saturday, but there was simply too much prep work. Gave cleaning a shot, so that we were at least close to the point where we had the room to paint. Then we had to face a tough decision. The back left corner of the office was in rough shape. The tape under the paint had been poorly applied, so it was all bubbled and bad looking. Option 1: scrape the fuck out of it, re-mud. Option 2: paint over it, pretend like we never saw it, get room done. We sat there and pondered for a bit, but in the end went with re-mudding. So... another trip to Park's.

The label on the spackle says quick drying, 30 minutes max. My ass. I tried sanding about 3 hours after application, and it was most certainly not dry.

So, on to another form of productivity: cold beers and lawn chairs in the yard.

Woke up Sunday morning, gave the mud a good sanding. Definitely still some rough spots, but at least the wall looks like a wall. Put another thin coat on, and left to go to Anna's grandmother's b'day party.

Doesn't sound like much maybe, but that was one tiring ass weekend. Next weekend: back at camp.

What is greatness, really?

2006-06-26T10:39:00.000-04:00

RBI Baseball? Game 6? Check.

Say it ain't so, Joe. Wait, it really ain't so?

Not much today, got a lot going on for school and work right now. Watched half a movie on AMC last night, Broken Trails, a western starring Robert Duvall. I thought it was pretty good, if a bit gruesome at times. Will I watch the second half tonight all depends on whether or not I remember to. And if the gf decides it's time to commandeer the remote.

The Real Problem With Computers

2006-06-23T12:59:00.000-04:00

You know what the real problem is with working on computers? It's not that I'm starting to develop a beer shelf starting just above my waist, and it's not the creeping carpal tunnel that's starting to make the tips of my fingers. It's not the glaze that forms over my eyes from staring at one space on the screen to long, nor is it the fact that I spend half my day deleting spam.

Nope. None of these things actually bother me. Beer shelf? Convenient for holding beers, and also helps me float better in the water. Carpal? Fuck it, I don't need the tips of my fingers for anything but typing anyways, and possibly throwing a knuckleball. My knuckleball always sucked anyways. The glaze forming over my eyes as I write this? Cured, mostly, by new glasses perscriptions and high-test coffee. Spam? If nothing else, you have to wonder at the absolute morons that must fall for some these. I mean, they must work, right? Otherwise why would people keep doing them?

The real problem with computers is the clock in the top right hand corner of my screen. It's always there. I always know what time it is, and I always know exactly how much longer I have to stay in my chair before I can leave with a clean conscience.

I don't want to know time it is! I don't wear a watch for this reason! I don't have an alarm clock next to bed anymore, largely because I spent, quite simply, disgusting amounts of time lying there watching 1:00 turn into 2:00 turn into 3:00 turn into... You get the idea.

Same thing for work. I find myself, all the time, simply glaring at the clock willing it to change from 2:48 to 2:49. For example, it has now been 2:48 for approximately three hours. Life would be so much easier if I could look up and see, well, French Hookers. That would make everything better.

OK, I gotta get back to clock-watching now, I'm almost within an hour of leaving for the weekend. Just like I have been for the past three hours.

Soccer, Books, and Hookers

2006-06-22T12:52:00.000-04:00

So I worked at home in the a.m. so that I could watch a bit of the US/Ghana game. I kept getting distracted by things (such as work, for example) but I think I caught everything of importance. First a comment about soccer: In no other sport do officials make as big of a difference. An official's judgement basically makes the difference as to whether a player can play not only the current game, but the next. Five minutes into the game, Ghana already knew that their best player couldn't play in the next game if they won. Why? Because of a ticky tack foul. To be honest, while you're going to hear about the big foul against the US at the end of the first half, almost every call went against Ghana. That one big foul was a huge one, a penalty in the box that led to the goal being scored that was (literally) the difference in the game.

Which, by the way, sucks. An officials judgement call shouldn't be the difference in the game.

Having said that, Ghana just looked better than the U.S. Too many boneheaded plays, too little effort too late on offense. Enough soccer, now I have to pick a team to follow the rest of the way. I'm leaning Italian, but I'll decide after I have a look around.

---

Finished the book I was reading late last night, Nick Hornby's "A Long Way Down." For those unfamiliar, Hornby writes for the New Yorker, but more importantly wrote High Fidelity (Yes, it was a book first Goody) and Fever Pitch (Way, way better than the movie. Actually, I'm guessing, as I've never seen the movie. And never will.)

The book was, well, fine. I enjoyed it, but I wouldn't necessarily recommend it to someone who hadn't read other Hornby books. In order, I would rank his books:

1. High Fidelity
2. About a Boy
3. Fever Pitch
4. A Long Way Down
5. How to Be Good

All worth reading, but start at the top if you're interested.

--

OK, no hooker stories, I just like the word.

Rambling Tuesday

2006-06-20T13:18:00.000-04:00

Bought a great album the other day, Gnarls Barkley's "St. Elsewhere." Filled with a sort of funky goodness and energy, we've listened to it just about a bazillion times recently. It doesn't keep up it's greatness all the way through, but the first half of the album alone is certainly worth the 9.99 on iTunes.

I also picked up the new Chili Peppers, which is so far, really good. Beyond Dani California, the first song, none of the songs individually are screaming at me, but the album as a whole is solid. I agree with John, and have to listen to an album a lot before I can determine how much I like it or not. Interestingly enough, everywhere I looked this album was 19.99, except at Target where it was 14.99. For whatever that's worth.

The other album that I've bought recently was the Raconteurs "Broken Boy Soldiers." Also seems like a pretty strong album. I'm guessing that most people who like Jack White (White Stripes) will like this, but again, I've got to give it some more listening before I can figure out how much I like it.

---

Oh, lest anyone think that I've forgotten about the NBA playoffs, well, I have. I've tried to watch the games, but they're just on too fucking late. I know that I'm a big wuss, but my attention span at 11 o'clock at night isn't up to the shenanigans of the Heat vs. Mavericks. That said, I may have to drink some coffee or something to watch the end of tonights game. Looks like Miami wasn't done after all, but I still think the Maverick's are the better team and will get this series to the deserved 7th game. When, well, it all depends on who shows up D-Wade or the big German. Shaq, sad to say, is a member of the supporting cast now.

---

A couple new t.v. shows have been watched in the casa de clementine. Two TNT shows, The Closer (starring Kevin Bacon's wife) and Saved, starring some guy who looks familiar but whose name I can't be bothered to look up. Both are worth watching, particularly if you like the cop and hospital shows that are on hiatus for the summer. Neither are going to be classics, but they have their points. In the case of Saved, the soundtrack is really solid, and the action and gimmicks interesting enough. The Closer, well, it's pretty much Law and Order Criminal Intent with a Southern Belle.

One show which surprised me how much I liked it was Man on the Street. It's on the Cooking Channel, and basically, as far as I can tell, is a guy just walking around interviewing people and cooking shit in weird ways. Doesn't sound very good, and sometimes it's not very good at all. A couple of episodes were surprisingly entertaining, like the one where the host teaches people to cook in campfires by wrapping everything they have in bacon and tin foil and throwing it in the fire. That's the sort of cooking I could handle.

At long last, a weekend

2006-06-19T15:26:00.000-04:00

We finally made it up to camp today. It got warm so early this year that it seems like we got up there late this year, but I guess mid-June is about the norm. Opened up the camp successfully, cleaning, running water lines, patching the roof, etc. Looks like everything made it through the winter ok, which is no sure thing. Some year's we've had trees take down electric lines, or open holes in the roof, or a porch over the water trying to get into the water.

This year? Some leaves in the yard and too-long grass were the biggest problems so far. After clean up and the like we proceeded to have a camp weekend, with lot's of yard games, card games, cheap beers, sausage, bacon, coffee, bug spray, badmitton, naps on the nap couch, cold water, inner tubes, wet dogfaces, some more beers, mimosa's, and books in adirondack chairs.

In other words, not a bad weekend. I even got a bunch of school work done, which is a good thing, as my productivity for this week is looking sketchy at best.

--

Apparently it's the 20th anniversary of the death of Len Bias. For those of you who are not Celtic's fans, this may not mean anything. But I remember this happening (along with the death of Reggie Lewis a few years later) and I remember it as absolutely shocking. Maybe that's why it inspires the people that write about it. Whatever the reason, people tend to write great columns about Len Bias, and this anniversary of his death is no different.

This is an archived version of Bill Simmons' article about Len Bias five years ago, and it reminds me of when Bill Simmons didn't spend most of his time whining, and actually wrote great columns.

Mike Wilbon is one of the guys on PTI, but first he was a columnist for the Washington Post, and he is a great writer.

---

I watched the second half of the US/Italy soccer game on Saturday, and I have to say... Finally a game worth watching! Both teams left it on the field, which is all you can ask for in a game at that level. I was particularly impressed with Reyna, once again he seemed to be in charge more than anyone else on the field. Someone who knows soccer more than I do will have to explain to me what was going on with the officials though. According to the guy announcing the game for ABC, the official who kept throwing out red cards was the spawn of Satan. Was this true? Or was it just that there really was a bunch of hard play deserving of penalties? The last red card seemed a bit tough to me, but I didn't see the first two, so it's hard to compare.

Why baseball is still the national pasttime

2006-06-14T11:39:00.000-04:00

Look. I like other sports. I love football Sunday's on the couch, and the Super Bowl may be the biggest individual game of the year. (Even if it is very often a boring blowout highlighted by beer commercials.)

And college basketball and football provide some great moments as well, and in some parts of the country are huge. I love March Madness, and the Rose Bowl, and... Well that's actually about it for those two.

The NBA, as much as I enjoy it, is a second-tier sport in this country. Stop laughing Hockey, you don't even get a tier anymore. NASCAR? Not a sport. Golf? Again, I love the Master's, but golf is simply not embraced by mainstream America. Tiger Woods might be, but I would wager that half the people who claim to be Tiger Woods fans have never actually watched golf. Soccer? Might be the national pasttime of 8 year old children of yuppies in America, but that's about it.

Baseball is still the National Pasttime.

It's the only sport that inspires poetry. (For example, the incoming Poet Laureate of the United State? His most famous poem is about baseball.) More books about baseball have been written than any other sport. Movies? Name one good movie about football. OK, other than The Replacement's. Baseball? Let's start at Bull Durham, The Field of Dreams, Eight Men Out, Bang the Drum Slowly, The Natural... I could go on. The best movie about football might be Rudy, and that's barely watchable.

Father's and son's playing catch. Ted Williams hitting a ball into the lights. Wiffle ball with the family. The Shot Heard Round The World. Throwing a ball at a tire swing. Dave Roberts' Steal. Little League. Jackie Robinson Stealing Home, Willie Mays Losing His Hat. Iconic moments combined

Name me another sport that has these kind of moments?

Mighty Casey Struck Out, he didn't miss a foul shot or shank a field goal.

The Irrationality of the GF

2006-06-13T13:45:00.000-04:00

For those of you who know the gf, it may or may not surprise you to learn that she has an irrational side. I'm not talking about the side that invents dances for various food products in the grocery store. I'm talking about the head-spinning, green-vomiting, hop on a broom, witchy side.

And it busted out last night.

The night started off wellish. We went out for Chinese food, ate a bunch of MSG, and drank a big ole rum bowl. So far so good. Went to the movie theater (To see XMen) and were a bit early, so we raced some video cars. (Winner? Me.) Then we shot some video bears. Still, so far so good. Go and sit in the grandstand seating, and get the best seat as we were the first ones in. Still good.

As the theater started filling however, the problems started. I succession of little people started rolling in, throwing food at eachother, and talking on their cell phones. If I had to make a guess, I would have said 7th or 8th grade. They kept talking through the previews, laughing, talking on cell phones, and generally being a royal pain in the ass. Eventually, I managed to ignore them, and got sucked into the movie. (Sidebar, XMen the last Stand or whatever the hell it's called, is worth watching, but only if you liked the first two. Special effects were fine, all the characters were fine, etc. In other words, it's pretty much what you would think it was from the previews. Except for Jeff, who has somehow developed an irrational hate of the director.)

Anyhoo... Somewhere around mid-way into the movie, which I am enjoying, I look over at the gf to mention said enjoyment. What I see scares me, a little more than a little. She is sitting straight up, hands clenched into fists in her lap, glaring at the back of the little heathens sitting in front of us. That's when their noise starts to make an appearance for me again. They are shrieking, laughing, snapping camera phone pictures and passing the phones around, talking on the phone, etc. In other words, we had a middle school cafeteria in our theater. From that point on, I'm on edge. The gf keeps looking at me to make sure that I'm as angry as she is (never has the ability not to make eye contact been a better skill), and then glaring back at them. The guy sitting behind us finally gives in and starts yelling at the kids to "Please Shut the hell up."

Eventually, the bad guys on the screen are vanquished, and the movie is over. I'm not certain the kiddies even noticed right away, but eventually they started swarming their way out of the theater. To get out, they have to pass us. More accurately, to get out they have to pass the withering glare of the gf. (Remember, she teaches heathens this age every day.) I pretty much just stand there, hiding as best as I can. The gf? Starts making comments about "Learn some Manners, and rudeness, and "Have some consideration, will you!", "You ruined the movie for everyone", "You are the spawn of satan", etc. Her comments start getting louder, and louder, until a couple of the kids even seem to notice. They don't stop being annoying pieces of shit of course, they just raise up the volume.

Finally, we are past the bulk of them and outside. What do we see? A couple of the little genetic misfires abusing the payphone outside the theater. At this point, the GF goes into what I like to call the Shopping Walk. Like you guys don't know what I'm talking about. You're being dragged along shopping, and you have to practically run to keep up to the lady forcing you to shop with them? That's the Shopping Walk. Only, the gf has modified it to include angry arms thrusting straight back and forth. She's more or less marching at this point. She was certainly leaving me in the dust. And then, it happens. She sees a parent waiting in their car with the window open. Bad news. I can't imagine what she is about to say to them. She slows down just enough so that I catch up, and can grab her arm and pull her to my car. Phew. Situation averted.

Somehow, I manage not to squeal my tires in my hurry to get away.

Snoring through the World Cup

2006-06-12T12:47:00.000-04:00

I realize that the World Cup is one of the biggest sporting events in the Whole Wide World. I realize that in most countries work stops, and fans become FANATICS when their team is playing. Not so much here in the great old US of A, obviously. And still, I like big sporting events.

So I decided to give it a shot. Saturday morning I got up and watched parts of England/Paraguay. Sloppy, boring game. England wins 1-0 on Paraguay own goal. Other than that? Nothing resembling clean, crisp, passing. Nothing that resembled scoring chances on either side. Missed passes and bad penalties on both sides.

Sunday I tried to watch Mexico/Iran. Another slop-ridden game. Mexico won 3-1, but don't be fooled. The game was not exciting to watch. Iran simply (with no pun intended) dropped the ball a couple times and let in some easy goals. As I write this, the US is losing 2-0 to the Czech. Republic. So much for the great US team... There's a few games coming up that look good, France/Switzerland, Italy/Ghana for example. Hopefully they are at least competitive, as right now I'm thinking of tuning out for the rest of the Cup.

---
Speaking of not competitive, remember all those nice things I've been saying about the NBA this year? I'm not about to say the same things about the Finals. In fact, I'd say unless Miami comes back and wins the next two games don't even bother watching. I saw some of the game last night, and man oh man did Miami look bad. Shaq was running (slowly) around with a look of bewilderment on his face for most of the game. He seemed to be playing fairly hard, or at least energetically, and scored five points. That's a 5 people!!! For a 7'2 center being guarded by Desagana Diop and Erick Dampier!!! Two people cut by Cleveland and Golden State for Christ's sake! Not so much what I expected. Check back in a week to see if game 5 might be worth watching.

The continuing re-edumacation of me

2006-06-07T21:03:00.000-04:00

Sat down in my first grad class yesterday. Ten people in the class, including the teacher. Not only is it the first class I'm taking (above a 100 level) in six years, but it's also the first time I've taken a class in this department. (Public Administration.) Needless to say, I was a little curious to see what I was in for.

I didn't just get to this department randomly, I thought about it a lot, researched it a lot, talked to faculty, talked to other students, etc. I know that I want to start a Master's, but I waffle on what program. I thought for a half second about English, but the only thing more useless than one English degree is two. I thought about an MBA, but I've met people with MBA's, and I don't think I want to remove all my personality at once. (Not a word Goody, or I'll tell your kid stories about you in college.)

I took a History class last fall, largely because there was one available that interested me, and I have always liked History. I liked the class a fair amount. In fact, the only thing I didn't like about it was that there wasn't enough challenge, which is when I became certain it was time to go back to school. Still, a History Master's on top of an English degree seemed only slightly better than an English Master's. (Better, only because I really disliked a lot of people in my classes. Actually, I really thought they were useless piles of shit.)

So... I came to Public Adminstration. I've got a few friends that got their Master's in that program, and they all raved about it. Seems like a program where you basically try to figure out what the source of a problem is, and then try to figure out solutions to the problem. I'm sure it's more complicated than that, but that's what I got out of it. And that's why I'm taking this class. I met with the Grad Advisor for the program, and she told me this class was a good "building block" class, that would give me an idea about what the program is all about. Tuesday's class was basically just us talking about random topics and what the solutions might be, and what the impact of the solutions might be, and how feasible they were, etc. In other words, right up my alley. Of course, the class ran an hour long, so by the end of it I was exhausted.

We'll see how it works out, but so far, so good.

Rambling through boredom

2006-06-05T15:17:00.000-04:00

Just realized today that I haven't written in a bit. Possibly due to the boringness of my life? Yup, it's a possibility. I woke up this morning, which was nice. Ate lunch, also nice. Drank some coffee, drank some water, typed away at the keyboard for a bit, oh wait the day is almost over and I haven't done one thing of note. Wonder what's for dinner, or why America is getting fat? Different meals are the only thing that make one day different from another.

---

Last couple weekends were spent at weddings. Good times for all. After the Kennedy/Lord wedding two weeks ago we stopped by my old house in Chelmsford. Weird stuff. The house itself was more or less as I remembered, the tree in the front that was planted the year I was born was huge, dominating the front yard. The hill that used to be such a royal pain in my ass to ride my bike up and down? Barely a bump in the road.

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Quick reminder, NBA playoffs are still going on, Finals start this week. Looking like it could be good stuff, Miami vs Dallas, no real idea who is the better team, nor do I really care who wins other than the vague feeling I have that it would be difficult to root for a team from Texas. Which brings up a good question: Has there ever been a President before that made us root against an entire state?

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Start my class tomorrow. Four week class, 4 hour class every Tuesday, the rest is online. We'll see how I do with a four hour class. If college was any indication, not so well.

Da Vinci Codeless

2006-05-25T13:19:00.000-04:00

The gf and I decided to bust out of the house for a few hours last night and watch the Da Vinci Code. First impressions? Man my ass fell sound asleep, even in the new and improved grandstand seating at the cheap seats. This is not a short movie, nor does it play as excitingly as the book reads. The codes that seem so tricky and cool when they are solved? Not so much on screen, where they just seemed to easy. Tom Hank's hair? Weird. Audrey Tautou? Cute.. But not as cute as Amelie. The weird looking Albino guy? He was weird looking and white, and overacting to boot. The old guy was good enough, as was the policeman.

But as for the movie itself? It resembled more than anything a vague outline of the book without any of the details that made people like it. Some people in the audience seemed to find humor in the movie, as they kept laughing out loud. The gf and I apparently missed those jokes. To be honest, the movie seemed a bit too, well, talky for me.

The movie as a whole? Harmless, and more or less entertaining. Not worth a trip to the theatre though, as there was nothing about it that screamed big screen. Save your money and go see X-Men when that comes out instead.

Blogging replacing talking???

2006-05-24T14:38:00.000-04:00

I'm siding with Goods here. And Johnson. I do use this as a means of communication a bit. I still try to make the occasional phone call, especially as I have no real grasp as to who is actually reading my blog (unless I say something snide about the gf and she smacks me..) For me, I use the blog to talk some smack to friends, or to vent a bit, or to get my thoughts about things down in writing so that when I say the opposite a few weeks later people can prove I'm an idiot. That's fun. It's also fun when Goody tries to correct my spelling.

I am glad to see that Goody and Johnson are back on their game, we'll see how long it is before John's in jail and Goody has to actually start working at his new job.

To steal from Sports Illustrated, This week's sign of the appocalypse.

tired... so tired.

2006-05-23T10:01:00.000-04:00

I've never slept well. Ever. My entire life I've had a hard time falling asleep, and a harder time waking up in the morning. It seems that no matter how much I sleep I'm still exhausted in the morning. This has pretty much always been the case, so I've adjusted to it. This last few weeks though? Ridiculous. I'm not even getting the normal around of sleep that I used to get. I wake up now, which is nice, except for the fact that it's 3 in the morning, and then I can't fall back asleep. This despite the fact that I only finally fell asleep a couple hours earlier. By the time I finally fall back to sleep, it's time to get up. Good times.

---

For all of you who don't watch basketball anymore.. You're missing a hell of a playoffs. The second round had 3 game 7's, with some great storylines and performances. Next round is looking pretty good as well, with an even matchup in the East of Miami and Detroit. Of course, these two teams will just bludgeon themselves to submission, so that might not be fun to watch. But Dallas and Phoenix? There's a matchup that's going to involve very little defense, and a ton of fast-break, fun to watch games.

Of course, it helps to have insomnia so that you can watch the West Coast games, maybe it'll be better this round.

Free for the week

2006-05-17T12:39:00.000-04:00

The GF is off camping with a bunch of 7th graders until Friday (her birthday), so I have the house to myself and the dog for the rest of the week. Could be messy. I'm gonna go out on a bender! Tie one on! I'm gonna...

Work on projects around the house.

Yup. This is what my life has come to.

With the forthcoming prospect of the gf being off for the summer, I need to get my office finished. Right now the office/guest bedroom/my closet/library is a bit of a mess. OK, it's a huge fucking mess, a mix of power tools and books, sweaters piled on a bed, and a couple of desks piled high high high with old bills. In fact, I get a little claustrophobic just going in. The closet part is key, as I started that early last fall, full of motivation. Some time this winter, mixed in with grant writing, business trips, and boredom, I lost motivation. So the next two days will be filled with filing of papers, sanding of corners, and hopefully, with some luck, a clean desktop or two.

---

FYI, while one Goody has been slacking, just a bit, in the blogs, it appears that another has stepped up to take over. Now if only there was someone to take over for the slacking of Robinson and Tomazin.

Monday Morning Blahs

2006-05-15T13:35:00.000-04:00

Had a good weekend, relaxing, relatively productive. Got some mulch down, and some potatoes planted. Stopped by the Marden's in Brewer, and they had a whole bunch of Lawn Games on sale, so we picked them up for camp.

Unfortunately, I woke up today and it was Monday. Which means, back at work. I wrote a blog on Friday complaining about my job, but didn't send it out, because who wants to hear whining about a job. But seriously? Fucking sick of my job right now.

---

ESPN has a good article about a group of guys that play basketball together. Used to have a group like this when I lived in NJ, I've never heard of anything like that here. The closest I have now is my poker game on Tuesdays, which is, at least recently, more expensive.

Best Books of the last 25 years

2006-05-11T12:22:00.000-04:00

I'm assuming the title of this blog is scaring off at least one person (Goody, I'm looking at you.) A.O. Scott of the NY Times has written an article about a survey conducted of authors to find the best books of the last 25 years. They are:

1. Beloved by Toni Morrison
2. Underworld by Don DeLillo
3. (tie) Rabbit Angstrom by John Updike
3. Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy
5. American Pastoral by Philip Roth

I was kind of surprised by this list, not for the reasons Scott discusses in his article, but because these are relatively accessible books. I've read something by each of these authors, and was able to grasp it. Three of the five definitely have similar themes involving athletes and the world events they grow up in. Also interestingly enough to me, Updike and DeLillo were introduced to me in my Sports Literature class. Guess that really wasn't as much of a blow off class as some thought.

Anyways, the article is good, and the books that are mentioned within are all worth reading if you haven't already. (Sorry Goody, no pictures.)

That's all for today.

Quick hits and wild cards

2006-05-04T11:09:00.000-04:00

Anyone not watching the NBA playoff is missing out on some great games. Most recently, the Cleveland/Washington Game 6 in Cleveland, where Lebron and Gilbert Arenas combined for 86 points in a duel that was a ton of fun to watch. Both of them were actually passing, trying to involve their teammates, and then taking the ball to the hoop when that didn't work, throwing themselves around like rag dolls. Lebron made the game winning shot on a baseline drive with .9 seconds left. Fun stuff.

---

Papelbon gave up his first run of the year yesterday, and now everyone wants to know how he'll do now. Seriously? I think he's given up runs before. If it was the 7th game of the World Series, that might involve some scarring. He'll be just fine.

---

On to the pics:

NL Wild Card

There's a few contenders here, mainly from the Central division: The Astros, Brewers, Phillies and Braves. Note that there's no teams from the west, they're just lucky that they're division winner automatically makes it in. I want to pick the Brewers, but I have a feeling they're last year's Cleveland, and will choke down the stretch. Astros? Not with the team they have right now, but maybe if Clemens comes along. Phillies? Not enough pitching. Braves? Not enough, well, anything. So I guess I will pick the Brewers after all, and then be pissed when they choke.

AL Wild Card

Really this comes down to three teams, one from each division: Red Sox, Indians, and Angels. To be honest, whichever of these teams does end up winning the Wild Card might be the favorite to win the American league as well. This year, I just think that the Angels are a little too injury prone to pull it out. Red Sox? They're going to be good this year, no doubt about it. Indians? Same.

So which of the two is it?

Offensively, the Indians are a much better top to bottom team.
Starting pitching? Red Sox have a better top two, but the Indians have a better 5, so I'd call it a push.
Defense? Both teams are pretty good defensively, but the Sox might be a bit better this year, at least up the middle.
Bullpen? Edge goes to the Red Sox due to depth.

So who wins? It's a tossup, but here's my guess. Towards the end of the season, the Indians call up Andy Marte, and he provides the momentum they need to carry the Wild Card.

Good thing too, because if the Sox won the Wild Card, I might have had to pick them to win the World Series, and that might have killed me.

I swear to god I'm not biased.

2006-05-03T11:28:00.000-04:00

Look. I'm starting with the NL East, because I want to. I happen to think that this could be a great division to watch, but I'm going to make it quick anyways.

1. Mets - Yup, this is the year the Braves finally lose it. I like to pick track records, particularly 14 consecutive years worth of track records, but not this time. The Mets are just too good. Assuming, of course, that Pedro can hold up. If they lose him for any extended amount of time, all bets are off. Oh, and David Wright and Jose Reyes? The real deal.

2. Phillies - The question here is, is Ryan Howard the next David Ortiz? If so, then the Phillies are a legitimate threat for the Wild Card. If Howard is more like the next, oh, I don't know, Cecil Fielder? Phillies don't have a chance.

3. Braves - They may have fallen a bit, but they're still not worse than Washington or Florida.

4. Nationals - Maybe when they have an owner they can compete. Until then? Not so much.

5. Marlins - Actually, if I was a Marlins fan, I think I would be alright with the way this team was put together. Think Cleveland a few years back. If the team's going to lose, and the Marlins are definitely going to lose, they might as well have potential. In five years though? The Mets and Marlins will be fighting it out for this division.

AL East

1. Yankees - Look, I know the Sox have Beckett and Schilling. And I know Papelbon is the Second Coming of the Rocket. But.. This isn't a question of who would win a short series. This is a question of who would win the Division. And right now, the Red Sox have too many questions to think that they can win the 95 games necessary to win it. The Yankees lineup is just too good. Say what you want about the Yankee's pitching, but Randy Johnson, as much as I hate him, has won 5 Cy Young's. Mussina? Known factor. Over the course of the season, these two are going to pitch well enough to win the division.

2. Red Sox - If they win the Wild Card, which they might, then they would be my favorite to win the World Series. But they have so many question marks, that anyone who picks them to win the division is ignoring quite a bit. If either Manny or Ortiz is out for any period of time, then the Red Sox have, quite simply, no offense. Even with the the two of them playing like the best two hitters in the league (Which, in the AL, they might be) The Red Sox simply don't have enough pitching. Schilling may or not hold up, but at least he has in the past. Beckett? Big game pitcher, yes. But he's won 45 career games!!! Every other Sox starter? Iffy as well. Papelbon has great stuff, and seems to have the right personality. Personally I think they are wasting him in the bullpen, but that's just me. With him closing, the Sox bullpen should be strong enough. Would I be shocked to see the Sox win the division? No. Do I think it's going to happen? No.

3. Blue Jays - I'm a little tired of hearing about how much better they got. Seriously? Compare them position by position to the Red Sox or the Yankees. They might have two players that would start for either team. Vernon Wells is better than either Damon or Crisp, maybe. Their pitching? Unproven. No way the Blue Jays win in September in either Boston or New York, but they could make it interesting until then.

4. Orioles - Only the wizadry of Leo Mazzone (former Braves pitching coach) keeps them out of the basement in the East. And Miguel Tejada, who is the best shortstop in baseball, unless his bitterness over playing in Baltimore takes over and he starts pouting. Which could happen.

5. Devil Rays - A much improved team, Tampa could be the best last place team in baseball, but their pitching still makes them a last place team. Carl Crawford? Maybe this will be the year he gets some pub for being one of the best overall players in the game.

Tomorrow? Wild Card Picks, and maybe the playoffs if I'm in the mood.

The Return of the Anti-Christ

2006-05-02T11:24:00.000-04:00

Johnny Demon returned to Fenway Park, and walls are still standing, the sun came up, and civilization as we know it has continued. Red Sox fans demonstrated everything that people love and hate about them last night. They should have applauded Damon when he came back for the first at bat, and then booed him every at-bat after that. That would have shown that they hated him for going to NY, but hadn't forgotten everything that he did while playing for Boston. That would have been fine. As it was, he got booed, pretty much incessantly, the whole game. I think he handled it ok, but whatever. Some thought the tipping of the hat was a sign of delusion, others thought it was handled perfectly.

On the other hand was the reaction to the return of Doug Mirabelli. Some say that the ecstasy over the return of a backup catcher is a sign of insanity. As much as it goes against my instincts to stick up for the Red Sox, I do think that it is a sign of the knowledge and passion of Red Sox fans that they recognize the importance of Mirabelli. In all reality, Wakefield is a crucial part of any chance the Red Sox have for success. With Mirabelli, he has a better chance of success.

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On to the picks. Today, I'll work my way through the AL and NL Central. Some years, this is a meaningless pick. This year? Not so much.

AL Central

1. White Sox - I hate picking the White Sox to win. It bores me, and to be honest, I just don't like them. Since they picked up right where they left off last year, and they are the defending champs, and they only seem to have improved themselves last year... Well, it's hard to pick against them to win their division at least.

2. Indians - Rememeber a few years back, when Cleveland traded some fat shlub (Colon) and got a ton of prospects in return? This is why. The Indians are absolutely loaded offensively, and their pitching might be just good enough to win. They have a couple top of the rotation type pitchers in Westbrook and Lee, and Wickman can play the role of the fat veteran closer with no fear with the best of them. This might be their year, but the White Sox are going to have some injuries for that to happen.

3. Tigers - It's amazing what happens when you hire a real coach. Leyland has his boys playing hard, and they have quite a bit of upside. Chris Shelton may be a good player, but he's not keeping up this pace. Also, their Ace? Kenny Rogers. In another year, they could be a dark horse to win the division, but the Central is crazy good this year.

4. Twins - I can't believe I'm picking the Twins for 4th in the division, but I am anyways. Things don't seem to have come together for the Twins this year, but their pitching is good enough so that they could make a run at it. Santana may not have started that well, but he's the real deal, and will be in the running for the Cy Young by the end of the year, again. Honestly? Any team in this division could win it, and I wouldn't be surprised.

5. Royals - With the exception of Kansas City. If they win more than 60 games this year, I'll be surprised. Seriously, can you fire an entire organization?

NL Central

1. Cardinals - Look, until St. Louis doesn't win this division? It's theirs. They might be aging a bit, but they still have two legit top of the rotation starters, a solid closer, and the best lineup in the NL. (If only because of Pujols.) Even though this is a much improved division, the Card's are still the class of the division until someone proves otherwise.

2. Brewers - This is the year that Milwaukee makes a run at it. They've got legitimate pop in their lineup, as well as possibly the best top three starters in the NL. They have the brother of Maddux coaching the pitching, so the bullpen will be solid again. They also have a deep bench. Can they take the Wild Card? I think they can. And no one in the NL will want to face Ben Sheets, Doug Davis, and Chris Capuano in a short series.

3. Astros - Eventually, the Astros are going to be too old to compete in the Central. Look, if Clemens comes back and is as good as he was last year? Maybe they can compete for the Wild Card. Maybe. But I just don't think that's going to happen.

4. Reds - I know the Reds are in first right now. But seriously, they've got nuthin. Their best pitcher may also be their best singer is Bronson Arroyo, and he's going to come down to earth. They're going to hit some home runs, but they'll give up more. Still, they're improved since last year.

5. Pirates - This pick is for Joey only. At this point in the season, it will be a major success if the Pirates don't lose 100 games. I don't understand why they're not better, but they're not. They have decent pop, young pitching with potential, and good defense. Still, the reality is that the Pirates will be hard-pressed to stay out of the Central in an improved division.

6. Cubs - Improved, that is, except for the Cubs. They just suck. Maddux is carrying them right now, and while I'm sure he'll get his 15, and Zambrano will probably get his 15, I don't see where any others are coming from. This team is just not good.

Tomorrow: AL East and NL East
Thursday: Wild Cards
Friday: Playoffs

Bumstock? Not any more.

2006-05-01T13:02:00.000-04:00

This past weekend marked the end of Bumstock, and to be honest, if anything it was too late. Bumstock used to be a weekend of music surrounded by partying. Now? Bumstock field was plowed under to make a parking lot while ago. Somehow, partying in the parking lot just didn't have the same ring to it. It used to be, that come Friday afternoon you could hear bands playing. The last few years? I've found out about Bumstock after it happened. This year? The last year? Bumstock was held in the Field House. They should have cancelled it years ago.

Maine Campus Story

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I've decided to amuse myself and pick the baseball season standings. I'll start with the AL and NL Wests.

AL West:

1. A's - Pitching wins, and the A's have more of it than anybody else. I know Zito's not what he has been, but by the end of the year, he will be, and the A's will be in the playoffs.

2. Angels - Mike Scoscia is one of the best managers in baseball, and he'll find a way to make the Angels contend for the West and the Wild Card, but in the end I just think the A's are better. That said, if the Ervin Santana and Casey Kotchman turn into impact players, then I think the Angels could make a run at it.

3. Rangers - Great position players, but you need at least some pitching to compete.

4. Mariners - I would be shocked if Seattle even came close to a .500 season.

NL West:

1. Diamondbacks - Young, young, young team. But seriously? The NL West sucks. The Diamondbacks have two potential stars that could be called up mid-season, and just enough pitching. If either Stephen Drew or Justin Upton is ready, they could make a run at it. They might be a year away, but I like this team.

2. Padres - Another young team, but San Diego has the one thing that a team needs to succeed: An ace. Jake Peavy is a great pitcher, and the rest of their team.. Well, is old or young. Piazza? Old. Anrian Gonzalez? Young. Barfield? Young. It goes like that around the whole team. It's possible that San Diego doesn't have one position player in their prime, and only one pitcher. Still, that makes them better than most teams in the NL West.

3. Giants - The one thing that could change everything in this division which Barry Bonds is playing for San Fran this year. I'm betting on whiny, gimpy, fat-headed Bonds, which makes the Gints into a mediocre, aging team overly dependant on a pitcher (schmidt) with a history of arm problems.

4. Dodgers - See above on Giants, only without any potential upside of Bonds. Oh, and their best starting pitcher is Derek Lowe.

5. Colorado - I know they've started off the season strong, and blah blah blah. Look at their roster. They're not finishing over .500.

The Boss still bringing it...

2006-04-27T12:21:00.000-04:00

So the unthinkable has happened. Hurricane Tomazin touched down in Borono, and I walked away safe, sound, and sober. We're definitely getting old. Hell, Tomazin the elder drank root beer! There was a day, not that long ago, where I not only wouldn't have walked away sober, I probably would have crawled away shit-faced, if I didn't just pass out face first where I was sitting (or standing.)

For those of you that are concerned about such things, the Pig Roast is still on, so long as the Scarborough house is still in effect. Dates to be announced, well, when they get around to it.

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So, I was flicking around the tv the other day (that sound you hear? The gf grinding her teeth in annoyance at me changing channels.) Anyways, I was flipping around channels, and I did something I haven't done in at least ten years. I stopped on a music channel. No, not MTV, that's not a music channel anymore, that's more of a Sluts Anonymous at this point. (Not that there's anything wrong with sluts, I wouldn't want to imply that.)

No, I stopped on VH1, where the Boss was on a show called Storytellers. Just Bruce, his guitar, and stories about how he wrote some of his more famous songs. Great stuff. Obviously I was riveted for the duration of the show. (That new sound you just heard? The gf banging her head against the wall.) Unfortunately for me, and fortunately for the chicky poo sitting next to me, there was only like 15 minutes left when we tuned in.

Basically, that just reminded me of why I listen to the Boss. His last three albums released on iTunes show his range:

We Shall Overcome - The Seeger Sessions - Just released this last week, this is the Boss' tribute to folk music. I've never been a huge fan of folk music, but this album has a rough quality and energy that's appealing. My favorite song on the album was 'O Mary Don't You Weep.' If you buy this on through iTunes, you get a video of this song as well.

Hammersmith Odeon, London '75 - Live album from just before Springsteen became a household name. For those of you who haven't heard or seen live Springsteen, a must listen. Highlights include an extended version of Jungleland followed by Rosalita, basically equalling 20 minutes of kickassness.

Devils & Dust - Released in 2005, this Springsteen's most recent studio album. For those of you who were fans of Nebraska, The Ghost of Tom Joad, The Rising or The Streets of Philadelphia, this for you. This is not the rowdy, electric, party Bruce, this is the quiet, acoustical, thoughtful Bruce. One of my favorites on this album is The Hitter, about a boxer stopping by his old home after years of getting the shit kicked out of him. Great album, and to me, proof that the Boss can still bring it.

And I'm out.

Bringing nothing too the table

2006-04-26T10:40:00.000-04:00

I've got nothing today.

Nada.

Zip. Zero, Nuthin.

And I'm still doing better than was last night at the Poker table. I started off strong, holding even at about double my money for the first two hours. Then, all of a sudden (and you can feel it happen) I started slipping. It wasn't that I was getting bad hands. Those are easy, you just fold em. Nope, I was getting the second best hand. Tough to get out of those. So I kept playing, and kept playing em, and kept losing. Didn't even win a split pot for the last three hours. Only ended up down 40, which isn't that bad considering I haven't really lost at all recently. It just kind of smarted that it happened so fast.

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Little scared, the Joey and Eric T. are making an appearance in Orono. Last time Eric showed up here we accidentally rang up something like a $300 bar tab, and it took my liver a full week to recover. I don't think they're staying for the night, so my liver should be ok in a few days.

Least relaxing vacation ever

2006-04-25T11:43:00.000-04:00

Was it the trip from hell?

Mebbe.

Let's just say, I would never. Ever. Recommend that anyone take the same same trip that the gf and I took last week. That is, unless your idea of a good vacation involves waiting in lines of people and cars to get to.. more lines of people and cars.

Sure, there were good times. (Like for example, yours truly winning a black jack tournament) Also enjoyed Universal Studios Adventure Island, Nassau (particularly snorkling and Senor Frog's), and vegging our by the pool. Kicking the gf's ass at bocce almost made up for getting my ass kicked at miniature golf by the gf. And someday? She might let me live it down. Who the hell 8 putts a hole in mini-golf? Me, that's who.

But seriously? I so much more enjoyed my sales pitch from hell on why we should by a time share in Orlando. And the dirtiness of the hotel rooms. Best of all might have been the absentee parenting going on all over the cruise ship. For those of you who are parents, let's just say, letting your little angels run around the ship bar at 11 o'clock at night? Not cool. Especially when they're playing a particularly loud and shriek filled game of tag.

If you want the full story of the vacation from heck, ask the gf. She tells it better.

Oh, one last thing..

Ramada Vacations? Fuck you.

Brief Respite...

2006-04-11T12:42:00.000-04:00

Taking a quick breath today, landed at home for a week before heading off on a vacation.

Brief schedule for last couple weeks involved two days in the office, 5 days in DC, and 5 days in Providence. Misc ramblings on each:

DC - Stayed in the same hotel as the UConn basketball team and the UConn booster club. Interesting that they travel together... But it made for a lot of fun during the UConn - George Mason game. Went to the Sports Bar in our hotel, and hung out with a bunch of people from DC and all the UConn fans that couldn't find tickets of their own. Rowdy, good times. Games like that are exactly what I love about sports bars.

Also spent some time on the hill, meeting with some of the aides and some of the reps for Maine to talk about our programs. Interesting stuff, and by and large, ME is well represented. To a one, all of them were nice and happy to see other people from ME. All four ME reps agreed to vote for a restoration of funds for our programs. Collins actually co-signed the letter in the Senate asking for funds.

Providence - After an all-to-quick weekend at home, off to Providence for a week. First things first, as I get out of the car, I'm pretty sure that I see a Baldwin brother. Yup. It's the one from Backdraft. I thought about saying hello, but as it is, he is only the one from Backdraft. If it was the one from Usual Suspects, or Alec, maybe.

After the first day of meetings, it's time for some beer. A few of us wander down the street, aiming towards a brew-pub type of place that we've heard about. As we walk in, I notice a familiar looking face standing behind the bar. It's been a while, so I'm not sure, but yup, it's Tinsley. She's doing well, and says hello to everyone.

Well, I have a few more days in Orono, and then the gf and I head out for a bout with sun, sand, and large boats with pools on them. I'll see what I can do about another blog sometime this week, as I know you all miss me so, so much.

That sound you heard?

2006-03-24T09:05:00.000-05:00

The screams of thousands of people tearing their brackets to shreds. No Duke? No Gonzaga? No WV? Personally, those losses last night, combined with a Texas win, actually helped me. Of course, it only helped me if Texas wins the whole shebang, which, let's be honest, isn't real likely. Still, it gives me a winning scenario at least. Oh, still leading our pool by the way? The GF. Who picked by which team had the better cheerleaders. (To be honest, I laughed... But her picks looked pretty frickin good then, and even better now.)

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Also, what's up with the Boston media sucking so bad? Why are they putting out poles questioning Belichik already? Seriously, don't you get a few years after winning three super bowls before people start calling you an idiot? I mean, look, Adam Vinitieri was a great kicker, and he should drink for free in Boston for the rest of his life. However, not wanting to pay a kicker three million bucks a year doesn't make Billy B a bad guy.

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Bruins update:

ummm

Oh wait, no one watches the Bruins.

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Celtics update:

Big Al, a big wuss? Apparently, his ankle isn't healed after all, as he's being shut down for a few games. If you've been listening to the coaches and other players talk though, they basically talk about how young players need to learn how to play through pain.

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Quick program note: I will be out of town through Wednesday night, so don't expect too much in the way of blogs.

So about loyalty...

2006-03-21T13:58:00.000-05:00

So... let me make sense out of this...

J0hnny Damon signs with the Yankees for 12 million dollars more, after having played with the Red Sox for three years, the A's for one year, and the Royals for 5 years, and is a traitor to the Red Sox.

Bronson Arroyo signs with the Red Sox for a below-market "Home-Team" discount... And is promptly traded before he even plays a game.

Someone please explain to me why anyone should show loyalty to this team? Just wondering.

These things I know for sure...

2006-03-20T11:38:00.000-05:00

You know what I miss? When there were things that I knew for sure. At one point in my life, I was absolutely positive that I was going to be a catcher for the Yankees. Turns out I was off a bit there.

In fact, it seems like every day that things I knew for sure are no longer true. Remember when Kobe Bryant was a fan favorite for his fresh faced enthusiasm and his overall goodness? Turns out that wasn't, well, let's just say that was off a bit.

I always thought that I would live in NJ as soon as college was over. That thought lasted through freshman year of college.

I was convinced that I would never find a job I liked. I've found a few. Now I wouldn't mind finding some more.

When I got to college I thought that I would party like I never had before. Who knew our high school parties were so crazy? (Although, as I've learned over the last few years, a well-thrown Pig Roast can be a pretty kick-ass party..)

Until recently, I KNEW that the Red Sox would never win a World Series, and it had never occurred to me that the Patriots could even be in the Super Bowl, never mind in the Dynasty conversation. Also? Drew Bledsoe, at one time, was an elite quarterback!!! Heh.

What else? I could on and on about how we KNEW there was NO FUCKING WAY a majority of people could possibly vote for Bush, but as it turns out? We were right about that.

I knew, KNEW that I was as different from my parents as any people could be. And then I found myself talking politics and agreeing with my mother! The horror, the horror!

It turns out that the longer I live, and the more I learn, the less I know. Crap.

Random thoughts on a Tuesday

2006-03-14T09:55:00.000-05:00

Listening to NPR books (a podcast) the other day, and a guy came on to talk about his book on "Powered aging" or some shit like that. I was getting ready to turn it off, when he started throwing some statistics out like this one: 2/3 of all people who have ever reached the age of 65 are still alive. And, every 8 seconds another baby boomer turns 65. Which obviously prompts me to think.. So much for my chances of retiring on Social security in a few years!! Also, there's going to be a hell of a lot of new executives in a few years when all these old fuckers retire.

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WBC update: US spit the bit against Korea, playing poorly and losing 7-3. Next game is a must win against Mexico on Thursday night. Mexico lost to the US in the first round, but put up a pretty good fight. Too bad the NCAA tournament starts Thursday, so no one in the US is going to watch any baseball.

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Talked the gf into filling out a bracket last night. Not sure that this will lead to me being allowed to watch more games, but it can't hurt. I have a sneaking suspicion that a) she's going to win, and b) I'm still going to get a look every time I try to watch a game.

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Is anybody more annoying than Gary Tanguay? He makes me want to punch my tv.

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Tommy Heinsohn and Mike Gorman agree, this Celtics team is fun to watch! And if they're not unbiased, I don't know who is. But seriously, they are fun to watch.

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If you aren't already, check out the podcasts through iTunes. Itunes is cross-platform, and easy to use. And free. Podcasts are free too, and will play on any mp3 player, or you could burn them to cd, or play them on your computer. My current favorites are the NPR books and NPR movies podcasts. I know John is partial to the Democracy Now podcast, and to be honest, if you have a hobby at all there's probably a podcast that you'll get into.

http://www.apple.com/itunes/

WBC? I'm into it.

2006-03-13T14:14:00.000-05:00

You know it's been a while since I wrote a blog when Goody's written several since my last one. And it's been a week since he wrote one.

Let's see. Boring ass weekend. The GF has a bad case of the "holy shit I'm so sick," so we didn't do to much. Caught up on sleep, watched a game here or there, read some more Lincoln. I'm getting into the World Baseball Classic or whatever it's called. I was skeptical, but I'm getting over it. The biggest drawback as far as I was concerned was the pitch counts. What that seems to have done though, is force pitchers to throw more strikes. Starters are still going deep into games in general, hell a guy from the Netherlands threw a no-hitter! (Of course the other team got run-ruled in the seventh, but whatever.)

No, the WBC has actually been pretty fun to watch. I expected the caribbean teams, and the asian teams to take it seriously, but the US players seem to be busting their asses. Also, it's an awful lot of fun for me to watch the gf try not to root for any of the Yankees on the team. Fun times.

Yesterday during the US/Japan game, there was a bit of a controversy, that of course the announcers wouldn't let drop. A Japanese player tagged up and scored on a fly ball to Left, only to be called out for leaving too early when the US appealed. On replay, it looked like a bad call. Don't really care about that though, my point is more this. If the games weren't mattering at all, could there possibly be an umpiring controversy?

What happened to us?

2006-03-01T12:16:00.000-05:00

I mean, seriously. What happened to us? As a country I'm talking about. I'm currently reading the new Lincoln book, (good book by the way.) I was expecting to be impressed by Lincoln, his intelligence, his empathy, etc. What I wasn't expecting was to feel that things were better back then. The book starts out describing the lives of several of the people that were on Lincoln's cabinet during his presidency. In doing so, the way life was in the 1800s is covered quite a bit.

The thing that was remarkable to me was the optimism about America. People wrote essays, books, articles, letters, all about how great it was to be an American, how you can overcome any circumstance to be what you want, etc. (Of course, in order to have learned how to write, you probable were born into an advantaged life. Even Lincoln and his legendary log cabin had a step-mother who was relatively highly educated and who taught him to read. ) Even people from France wrote essays about how great of a country America was! Imagine that now..

Now we again have a country that is once again split bitterly down the middle, but it's no longer as clear what the reason is. Before the civil war, slavery was the main issue, but there were side issues of state vs federal rights, and others as well. Now? Religious extremism? Is this really what's separating the right vs the left right now? That seems fairly stupid to me. I suppose that this is what happens when you found a country based upon religious tolerance and than assume that it only applies to your religion. Idiots.

If there's anything that history has proven, it's that no one culture or country can dominate forever. The fall of the Roman Empire, the British Empire, the Mongols, Alexander the Great, Egypt, etc etc etc. In comparison to many of those countries and eras, we are in the midst of an incredibly insignificant time. Especially if, as it currently appears, the US is already on the downward spiral.

Reasons why this winter should blow me

2006-02-22T09:42:00.000-05:00

OK, first off, a quick note in defense of the Celtics. For those of you not paying attention, the Celtics have won three of their last four with two starters out, and a third playing on one leg. Last night, that third didn't play at all, and Paul Pierce was out for long stretches in foul trouble, and the Celtics beat the Jazz by 20. I realize that there may only be three Celtics fans left in the world, but just so the rest of you know, the Celtics are showing signs of a pulse.

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Back to the titled subject, Reasons why this winter should blow me:

1. No Snow. Look, if I wanted warm winters I'd live in Florida. I like changes in season, it keeps things fresh. Even when it's been cold this winter there's been no snow. I literally have ZERO snow right now. It's the end of February in Maine for fuck's sake.

2. The moron in charge has once again cut our programs, to "Save Money". Seriously, have we ever had a more incompotent president? I mean, is too hard for people to remember that when Clinton left office he might have taken the keyboards, but he left a budget surplus? This was only a few years ago people.

3. I've not been skiing yet. This is closely associated with number one, but that alone isn't enough of an excuse. Hopefully this will be remedied tomorrow, when I plan on coming down with a case of the "too sick to work must go skiing" bug that's going around. But as of yet, it hasn't happened yet. And one of the primary reasons I like winter is skiing.

4. Did pitchers and catchers report yet? For the first year that I can recall, I'm not excited about the upcoming baseball season. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because I don't plan on playing this year or maybe it's because I am completely fucking sick of Red Sox fans and they're incessant, illogical whining about Johnny Damon. Maybe all of this will change once I see the latest Fantasy Team that wears pinstripes this year, but I doubt it.

5. Money is tight. Apparently, and nobody told me this, buying a house is really expensive. I thought that I had planned everything, but apparently my math skills suck. The mortgage, home insurance, taxes... I was prepared for all of this. I wasn't prepared for the butt raping that is my oil bill, nor was I ready for Sewer, Water, blah blah blah. Last night, I went through and built a monthly budget spreadsheet to help control costs. That was fun.

6. Grant writing is fun. Look, I work for federal grant funded programs. We have to write grants to get our money. I can deal with this. We aren't allowed to use money from those grants to write those grants. I understand this too, unfair competition and all that. What I don't understand is why the University is to cheap to pay for our time while we write the grant. They make millions from these grants. They would have to pay roughly $7,000 in salary time to the three of us that worked on the grants. We give them 8 percent of our grant every year for, well, office space and the right to use their name on our letterhead. This amounts to, over the life of the grant, a bit less than 500,000. But the U won't pay for our salary time, so we have to use vacation time. In other words, in the last two months, I have been on vacation for four weeks of it, and in that four weeks, I have worked almost 300 hours. Let's just say that I've had better vacations.

So in closing, this winter can, as was said so eloquently in that oh so classic movie,

SUCK ME BEAUTIFUL

End rant. For now.

Is that a Goody I see?

2006-02-18T10:36:00.000-05:00

First off, I gotta say, GOODY!!! Where ya been buddy! Way to get back on your game. Now keep it up.

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I like the theme of history and repeating our mistakes. It does seem like our country has a way of forgetting history.. Probably because of who's writing them, but that's another story. And another blog to be honest. If I start writing history, I'll still be writing two hours from now, and it's Saturday morning and I'd like to get shit done today.

Missing ASAP though, that's something I can relate to. Working at ASAP isn't something that can be described to people who weren't there when we were there. I still work in the same building, and when I walk upstairs I expect to see the same sort of thing. Loud music, debating, group work, that sort of thing. Now? It's a bunch of nerds sitting at keyboards not talking to each other.

When we were there, it did seem like some sort of a nexus of creativity. The theory behind ASAP was 1/3 learning, 1/3 teaching, 1/3 producing. By working like this, it seemed like we were able to stay at the cutting edge of technology, while remaining interactive with everyone else that was working there. Now? Comp Sci majors all. None of the trash talking that we had, none of the diversity of backgrounds.

I relate to what Goody's talking about in other ways too. I've been working my job now since April 2000. I've learned quite a bit, done quite a bit in that time. I generally do enjoy my job, and I think that the work we do is necessary. Still.. I have moments of being really sick of the same shit over and over again. I'm almost always sick of University politics. What are the options though?

Go work in corporate America? I'm sure I'd make more money, but I'm equally sure that I'd feel like a sellout.

Go back to school? Well, unlike some people living in New Zealand, I'm not sure that I can be a professional academic. I am going to start taking Master's classes soon, but largely because my job pays for them.

What are the other options? Apparently I'm not going to make millions playing for the Yankees, I don't like my odds of winning the Lottery, and there aren't any millionaires in my family that I can mooch off of. Back to the drawing board I guess...

Happy Hallmark Day, and an ode to the Olympics

2006-02-14T12:52:00.000-05:00

Thankfully, the gf hates Valentine's Day with a passion, so I don't have to scrounge around and find out which insanely over-priced for one day piece of chocolate or flower will keep me out of trouble today. What a stupid "holiday."

Now don't get me wrong, I don't mind buying flowers for my lady friend. In fact, I'm a big believer of giving flowers for no reason other than I wanted to. As for chocolate, I try to bring candy bars with me every time I leave the house with the gf. This way, when she gets tired and cranky I can bribe her into sugar-induced happiness for at least as long as it takes to get home. (When I get tired and cranky like that, the gf starts looking for hot dog stands or bars, whichever comes first and preferably all at once.)

Plus, $50 bucks for 12 measly little flowers that usually cost $15 is simply a fucking rip-off.

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I love the Olympics. I know that they're overblown and jingoistic, and I just don't care.

I like that sports that aren't even close to being on my radar all of a sudden became Must See TV. I like trying to figure out if someone is a great cross-country skier or merely a good one. I love when someone absolutely nails their event for a gold, like when the French guy one the downhill with an absolutely perfect run one year after blowing out his knee. I like it even more when someone busts their ass in front of the home crowd, gets a bronze medal, and a standing ovation, like the Italian guy in the long speed skating event.

I like the luge. I'm not so hot on ice dancing or figure skating, but curling? Not sure why, but I like it. I love the fact that random countries completely dominate sports, and I love the fact that very often the person/team that wins was not the favotite to win.

I like how Bob Costas makes everything that happens seem like the most important thing that's ever happened, and I love the fact that unlike professional athletes, I know all of the Olympic athletes are actually trying.

Nothing like having a plan

2006-02-09T14:46:00.000-05:00

For those of you who have known me for some time, it might surprise you to know that I am a bit of a neat freak and a planner. I know, I know, my dorm room was a shit hole. And granted, at no point was the Peach House what any normal person would call "clean." Unless Lizzy was up visiting, and then sometimes the bathroom got cleaned. Thanks Liz!

What I'm talking about is project planning or organization in, oh, let's say... Your workplace. At work, I plan carefully, building timelines and setting deadlines. When I'm allowed to. I do this, because I hate working under a time-crunch. To me, working under a time-crunch means that I'm more likely to fuck something up, and not catch it. Unfortunately, my boss thinks that he works best under a time crunch. For example, we are currently working on our renewal grants, which are due Tuesday. We've known that there was going to be a grant due this year for FIVE FUCKING YEARS!!!! Obviously, we aren't even close to getting done. Because my bss hasn't gotten his shit done, I am going to have to work this weekend. And possibly around the clock on Monday. Just like the last set of grants, where I had to work 100 hrs in a five-day week to get the grant out. Right now, we're actually behind where we were that week.

I love my job so much right now!

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In other news:

Hockey players gamble, Mark Cuban said something wacky in his blog, and parents of middle-schoolers are insane.

Now for the laughers.

2006-02-07T08:47:00.000-05:00

Recently, the gf and I have been in the mood for comedies. Sounds easy, right? Go to netflix, reserve some comedies, and good to go. Well, we tried that. We got The 40-year old Virgin, Wedding Crashers, and Anchorman. All got rave reviews as laugh out loud hilarious. Over the past week or so, we watched them. And were, for the most part, very disappointed.

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Wedding Crashers

We'll start in order of the biggest disappointment. This movie didn't suck completely, there were funny moments, and there were boobies galore. The problem here was that this movie was lazy. They took a great premise for a movie, and sharted out this piece of recycled crap. It was like everyone in the movie was playing characitures of themselves, only without bringing the funny. As I write this, I'm trying to think of one thing that made me laugh. Can't do it.

Anchorman

OK. There were moments of funny in this movie. Not because of Ferrell, who was OK I guess. Not because of the Married with Children whore/daughter, whatever her name is.

N, the humor all came from Steven Carrell, the guy from Saturday night live. Everytime I laughed out loud it was because of him. The rest of it.. Was almost funny. Good premise, great sound track, it just wasn't quite all the way funny.

40-Year Old Virgin

I almost peed myself during this movie. I was laughing so hard that my stomach cramped up and tears were rolling down my face. Why was it so funny? Not sure. Maybe because it's characters were not complete assholes, just broadside shots of people that we all know. And at least the writers of this movie liked their characters.

Steven Carrell was great. Great. I think the last time I laughed this hard was when Spaceballs first came out. I was ten, and in the hospital after a skiing accident. I laughed so hard I popped a staple. ("Man, we ain't found shit." Now that was some funny shit.) Last movie they let me watch at that place.

If you haven't seen this movie yet, I can't recommend it enough. Wait through the first ten minutes or so, which are a little slow. I can't promise that everyone will like this movie, but I can promise that if you do, the scenes at the end might make a top ten funniest scenes list for me.

Wow, that was exciting

2006-02-06T09:27:00.000-05:00

So. Pittsburg beat the curse of Slash, or was it Maddox, or was it O'Donnell? Not the best game I've ever seen, it could have been worse. At least there were a few exciting plays, and it came down to the end, sort of. Seemed like Seattle was getting jobbed a little bit with the calls, but none of them were game costing, I didn't think.

Anyways, if your name isn't Joe T this Super was more about the commercials and the music than anything. The game was fine. The pre-game with Stevie and friends was good, the half-time show was good. No boobies this year, which I think was a mistake.

As far as the commercials? They were good. Not great, but good. I liked the Budweiser table/refrigerator, and the Monster.com monkeys/jackasses was good. Actually, in the first half it did seem like there was a few right in a row that I laughed out lout at, but those were the ones that jumped out at me. Oh, and the godaddy.com Ad? Sucked.

All in all, I give this Super Bowl a solid C+. The game was certainly not a failure, but it certainly didn't bring it's A game.

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Somehow I forgot to post this yesterday. So there may be another one later today, but there may not as well.

OK, It's really Friday, right?

2006-02-03T15:34:00.000-05:00

Thank god.

This is definitely one of those weeks when it's hard to watch the clock tick down til 4:30, when I can finally make the mad dash for the door. As it is, I don't punch the clock at my job, so I will be leaving as soon as Woodman's opens. (4:00) Leaving before the bar opens is just reckless on weeks like this.

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So we got the word, more or less. Bush's budget for 2006-2007 does not include any money for Talent Search and Upward Bound programs. We won't know for sure until Feb. 6 when the budget actually gets announced, but at this point, when you get word like this it very rarely changes. This means that the lobbying efforts begin again. Last year we managed to get money back on the House floor, so it's certainly possible that will happen again. Still, it would be nice if we were getting increases at some point.

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Plans for the weekend? I fully plan to not have a conscious thought if I can avoid it. Next week begins the next cycle of grant writing, hoo ahh.

And yes that was a Scent of a Woman reference.

Are we there yet?

2006-02-02T13:32:00.000-05:00

At Goody's request, I'll abandon my John hat for the day, and talk about something else besides politics and the fact that our governent is being run by a hyperactive eyelid.

Met a couple of my friends for a beer yesterday after work. Needed to happen. This hasn't been my favorite week of all time, for no particular reason other than the fact that it sucked. So anyways, there I am drinking my Casco Bay Riptide Red, which is a fine beverage, only to realize in the middle of out conversation that I had no idea what day it is. No clue. And I was still on my first beer. Now, my tolerance isn't what it was back in the days of 30-pack marathons, but I haven't yet fallen to the point where one beer makes me forget what day it is.

So I asked my friend what day it was, thinking that it was Friday, but prepared for Thursday. You can imagine my shock when I found that somehow I was off by two days, and it was really Wednesday. I wanted to curl up in the corner and cry. As that wasn't really an option (I go to this bar often) I had to man up and drink another beer. Yup, that's right. Two beers on a school night. And, believe it or not, I didn't fall asleep on the couch when I got home.

Trust me, that's not a trend I'm looking to continue. In fact, I'm going to make it a goal to nap on the couch every day. Everybody's got to have goals, right?

State of the Onion

2006-02-01T09:43:00.000-05:00

Ahh the pomp. Oh, the circumstance. Eek the tedium of a bunch of self-important politicians standing and applauding, occasionally interupted by a small little boy standing on a podium blinking and winking.

Yup, I watched the State of the Union. It was interesting, at least up until the point that it actually started. First off, Cindy Sheehan got arrested before the event even started. She was the guest of some congresswoman from California. Can you imagine that invitation?

" So, you're going to behave yourself, right? No screaming and yelling? No egging the president? You promise?"

Seriously, you have to respect Cindy Sheehan. She might be completely insane, but at least she's consistent.

The other interesting thing that happened before the State of the Union was that the GF got so pissed of at Shrubby that she stormed out of the room and started angrily doing dishes, Before he had even been announced! Of course, I'm just assuming it wasn't something I said.

The content was predictably dull. In fact, after the speech one of the pundits said that something like 48 out of 62 of the paragraphs could have been read by Clinton. I mean, seriously. Clinton was a Rhodes Scholar. He can read anything Bush can.

Seriously though, I'm guessing that the big portion of the speech was supposed to be the whole "the United States is addicted to oil" thing. First of all, no shit. Second of all, Bushy fucked up reading it! Shouldn't he have been practicing that portion above all others? I mean, seriously. What a dumb fuck.

Anyways, the best part of these is always the faces the senators make. You would think, with these being people in the public eye, I don't know, ALL THE TIME, that they would have some control over their facial expressions. Nope. My all time favorite is when they zoom in on Ted Kennedy when Bush is talking about education. Kennedy's face just turns redder, and redder, until he looks a little like a big scary strawberry. None of that this year though. They did zoom in on Hillary at one point, and she looked like she was going to die a painful death if she didn't take the shit she was brewing. And at another point, Collins and McCain laughed outloud at something said. Good stuff.

And once again, the Democrats dropped the ball. The Democratic response is an interesting new tradition, one that seems like it would be a good place to display someone they are grooming to run for a higher office maybe, or who has an election upcoming this year, or something along those lines. Like last year, when Barack Obama gave the response. Nope. The Dems pick a governor from Virginia who has been office all of three weeks. They picked him because he was a good speaker, used to connecting with people. If that's the best that the Dems have to offer as far as speakers go...

Well let's just say he made GW look smooth and collected.

Worst year on record?

2006-01-30T13:10:00.000-05:00

The idiot in the Oval Office gets a chance to talk to people tomorrow night, without college kids peppering him with hard questions that he can't answer. (Great editorial in the globe here...)

I'm curious to see what he has to say for himself. In the past year, we've discovered that the President doesn't follow the laws of his country, that there was no evolution, that George Bush doesn't care about black people, that there were no weapons of mass destruction (oops, everyone knew this already), that Congress and the Senate was full of people taking bribes, etc etc.

So seriously, is there a year on record that sucked more? Honestly, the first time I see any possibility for optimism is in 2008 when we might have someone better in charge. I am sincerely scared shitless of the damage that Curious George could do when he's not worried about getting re-elected.

So I will be watching the State of the Union tomorrow night to find out if putz boy is cutting our funding again. Dumb fucker. I'm sincerely worried that my head will explode if I watch Bushy mumble his way through lies and incompetence. This is going to require alcohol.

Fortunately, the next day Bumbling Bush will announce his budget. If last year holds true, this won't be anywhere close to what the actual budget for 2006 looks like, but it should be suitably horrifying.

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In other news, according to the Chronicle for Higher Education, we have finally reached the point where more than half of all people receiving financial aid grant monies are middle income or above. The Buffoon in DC calls this "Merit" based aid, but what it really means is that the only way for poor people to graduate from college is with heavy loan debt. Sweet! for more opinions, read the article that I linked to above, and you all no doubt skipped over.

Baseball vs. Football

2006-01-25T14:54:00.000-05:00

Regarding yesterday's rant about the Town of Orono.. I talked to someone with relatively insider knowledge, and was told that the reason the town told the state to check out the Bear Brew is because their liquor license was up for renewal, and it is routine to check on the food license at the same time. I was also told that one of the reasons the town hates the Bear Brew and Ushuaia is that the owners of both establishments act like pompous assholes at the town meetings. Having met both of them.. Let's just say I have no trouble believing that. None of this changes the fact that Orono refuses to admit that it is a college town.

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In a new and interesting (at least to me) topic, Jim Caple at ESPN takes on the argument that football isn't actually more popular than baseball.

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=caple/060124

He makes some good points anyways. Not sure which side I fall on, except to say that baseball is probably second to soccer internationally, followed by basketball, tennis, golf, and many more before you would get to football. Hell, swimming might be more popular internationally.

borono intentionally

2006-01-24T07:08:00.000-05:00

So.. I realize it's been some time since the last blog. I started writing a few, but then got distractimicated by my real life, or more specifically, my real work. Trust me, I would really rather be writing useless blogs about all the random shit that annoys me.

Sometimes, things pop up that just require my comment. Sometimes this is a pressing political event, possibly an important cultural milestone.

Sometimes, the town of Orono once again forgets that there is a college in it's midst. For those of you that don't know, for some time we have know that Ushuaia has lost their liquor and special entertainment licenses. (They were granted a 30-day extension by the state.) Apparently the town is concerned about the growing number of violent incidents occuring there. (47 this year, including several stabbings and one death, of an asthma attach after a stabbing.) This is more than any year in recent memory. More on Ushy boo boos in a minute.

This past Friday, the Bear Brew was temporarily closed for six hours for "cleaning." Apparently the state department of health received a tip that the Pub might not be up to par in meeting some of the general health requirements. They received this tip from someone connected to the Town Police. Also, the Pub apparently forgot to update their food license. Oopsies! For now they can serve pizza and beer, but no other dinner. They are up for renewal in all of their licenses later this winter, and it's not looking good.

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So.. the town of Orono, after a brief surge of having more than one place to go at night, is once again faced with the very real possibility of having nowhere for the hockey players to hunt down their prey after games. Now let's be honest here. I haven't gone out on the weekends in Orono while school was in session since the last time someone visited and wanted to go out, so I'm hardly crushed by the loss of two places I won't go to anyways. But, there is a matter of principle involved here. Also, the possibility that if the places scumbags go are closed, than they will try to go to the other places. For example, people might actually show their faces in Margarita's again.

Now, I understand that these two places probably did everything that they've been accused of. The Bear Brew, for one, has never had the cleanest kitchen on record. To be honest, that bathroom being located so close to food has always bothered me a little bit. BUT... never did the town give a shit before! Ushuaia has always been a place where it was just as easy to get punched by a football player as it was to get an std on the dance floor! (I mean talk about unclean, Geddy's wasn't closed down for that fucking bathroom???) If anything, the owner of Ushuaia's has improved things. Not that I've been to the place in three years, but I understand that he's gotten his people security training, installed security cameras, and wands people for metal objects as they come in. (All instituted since the stabbings.) What else is he supposed to do?

So, good work Town of Orono. You've closed the two places college students like to go the best. I'd believe your claims of good intentions if you ever checked the cleanliness of the kitchens in let's say, oh, Pat's Pizza. Instead, I'm just going to go on believing that Orono refuses to admit it's a college town.

Holy Crap

2006-01-12T12:45:00.000-05:00

This is some funny shit. If you ever owned a Nintendo, or if you ever even played one, click this link. Trust me.

Old age causes Rambling...

2006-01-11T18:28:00.000-05:00

So. Somebody's been a-slackin on the old blog again. It's not that I have anything better to do, that's quite obviously not the case. It's just that some things are more insistent, like for example, writing the renewal grants that (will hopefully) continue to pay my salary. Lot's of fun working for a grant-funded non-profit, let me tell you.

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In related news, word is that Bush may once again be zeroing out funding for the TRIO programs this next budget cycle. What a numnuts. For those of you that don't know, the TRIO programs, two of whom are my employers, are college access programs for low-income people from Middle School on up in age. Almost all of the people we work with come from families where no one has ever received a degree beyond High School.

I'm not sure why Bush thinks this is a good place to make budget cuts, but to me it represents everything that is wrong with his presidency.

Lack of foresight. These programs work, but can't show immediate results. There are no tests that kids can take when they're in 7th grade to prove that they'll go on to college.
Lack of caring for people unlike himself. Where are the tax cuts for the people that can't afford to pay their taxes?
Being stupid.

I could go on, but I'm not in the mood.

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Pat's beat the Jaguars. Like that was a surprise. The Broncos

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The gf has mandated that I no longer talk about Johnny Damon. Apparently, I was making too much sense, and as a Red Sox fan, she couldn't handle that. Or something like that.

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So I turned 28 the other day. This one stung a bit. For the last few years, I could use the "Well at least I'm still very immature" line of reasoning to fight the "You're getting old argument."

Well, over the past year, I've bought a house, a truck, and a dog. My girlfriend's moved in, and along with the dog, taken control of the house. I can count on one hand the amount of times I've gotten drunk on back to back days. I've taken on more responsibility at work, I've started developing a pot-belly. If I ever combed my hair, I might notice that I was starting to lose recede a bit.

Fuck it.

I'm getting drunk tonight, just because I can.

Possibly a nice shiraz would do the trick.

Johnny Johnny bo Johnny

2005-12-22T10:18:00.000-05:00

fee fi fo fonny... Johnny!!!

So the Yankees signed Johnny Damon. Now in New England, the world is ending. Johnny's a traitor, the Yankees stole him, blah blah blah. Get over it. Bob Ryan says it best...

First of all, why on earth should Johnny Damon show any loyalty to the Red Sox? They were his third team!!! It's not like he came up through the system!!! Second of all, he wanted to stay with the Red Sox, but the Yankees offered him 12 million more!!! Now, I have a coworker who asked me, with a straight face, how three million more dollars a year could possibly make a difference. Seriously? This argument sucks. Three million more dollars a year is a lot of fucking money. That makes a difference to just about anybody that can add.

As far as the Yankees stole him argument.. He was a free agent for Christ's sake! The Red Sox, the Royals, the Devil Rays, and the Yankees all had the same opportunity to sign him. He gave the Red Sox a chance to match the offer the Yankees made, and they refused! So where in this is stealing?

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So enivitably, this will lead to more of the "Yankees are buying a championship" argument. Horseshit. You know who the richest owner in sports is? Carl Pohlad, the owner of the Twins. Now, I'm not sticking up for Steinbrenner, who is a pompous old asshole in a lot of ways. But at least he puts his money where his mouth is and puts the best team he can afford on the field. Would anybody seriously prefer to root for a team where the owner pocketed money instead of spending it on players? Anybody that would is an idiot.

Just like anybody that would take a job, all other things being equal, with a three million dollar per year disparity in pay, needs to go back and review their basic math skills.

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So if you want to feel bad because the Sox just fucked up and lost your favorite player, go ahead. I don't want to hear about it being anybody's fault but the management of the Red Sox.

Hopping all over the cable bandwagon

2005-12-21T18:47:00.000-05:00

Goody appears to have remembered how to type! And he was paying $120 for cable? What the fuck? I had digital cable and hi speed internet through ahellphia, and it never got up above $90. Particularly once my boss agreed to pay for the internet portion of it since I work at home so much. Still, for once, Goody's point is valid.

Digital cable is a rip-off, and the regular "classic" package isn't much better. I mean, I like a good informatial as much as the next person, but come on. 15 channels of QVC? (On a very related note, somehow I don't yet own a Ginsu knife. Yet.) I do know people that like the home shopping network, but very few of them also want Sportscenter and MTV. (On another related note, why is there no retirement network? Or is this what QVC stands for? Quit Vorking, Corporation? Quick, Vhile Cicking? What?)

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So why is it that there is no competition amongst cable companies? If you can read (I know, I said IF dummies) then you've read about how movie companies are going broke because people are staying home to watch tv instead of going to the movies. How hasn't this translated into some price competition? I mean, is it harder to get cable up to Maine than it is to get oil? Off the top of my head, in Orono I have the option of Dead River, RH Foster, Irving, Weber, Standard Oil, Murphy Bros... I'm sure there's more. Off the top of my head, I can name one competitor to Adelphia. DirectTV. Great fucking options people.

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As far as Goody's idea about a la carte cable companies, great idea. Not the first time I've heard it... But great idea. In fact, that might be another blog, what channels would I choose...

Thank God I Cancelled Cable

2005-12-20T19:06:00.000-05:00

Busy, busy, busy.

Our friends in the federal government decided that the 12th day of Christmas looked like a nice due date for our renewal grants, so I've been crunching numbers this week. It's amazing how hard it is to get data from schools when they're on holiday...

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So I have to admit, I am addicted (sort of) to a couple tv shows. To be honest, I can't actually remember the last time this happened. Seinfeld, Friends, Cheers, all good shows. I never could even remember what day they were on, I was always to busy either with sports in HS, working, or partying/studying in college. Now, as I am an old, broke fucker, I turn on the boob tube every night, and try to stare through the static to catch a rhyme or meaning to the trashiness. While I still can't understand the appeal of reality shows, there are a few shows that I do kind of like.

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Lost - I like this show, I think. I missed the first season, and most of this season, but it's an interesting format for a show.

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Grey's Anatomy - I am absolutely confused by the fact that I like the show. As far as I can tell, it is basically a simple formula of:

(90210 + ER)
__________
( 1/4 Cheers + Scrubs.)

Does that sound good? It doesn't to me. Maybe I like it because the cute girl from Old School gets drunk a lot. Maybe I need to stop drinking partaking of the crack pipe while watching the tv.

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How I met your Mother:

OK, this show I've only seen twice, and I can't even remember what the name actually is, but whoever wrote this show, while they need to stop laying on the cheese, definitely knows people our age. And each time I've watched it (remember, twice) there have been a few laugh out loud moments. The first show I saw had a scene where one couple had to go to a wine party, and weren't allowed to drink the wine because wine had to air out. The other couples were talking about stock options and babies. The guy took the only rational response, and jumped out the window of their apartment's bathroom, and went to the bar to meet up with his buddies. I mean, haven't we all been there? Whatever. I have no life.

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OK, that's all I'm admitting to for now. If I feel braver tomorrow I might dive into my unexplicable laughter at a t.v. show involving Freddie Printz and Brian Austin Green. Crap.

Mini-rant Friday...

2005-12-16T11:23:00.000-05:00

So apparently I wasn't meant to post twice in a day, as I forgot all about my pseudo-promise almost as soon as I made it. By the way, thanks for the reminder, Goody, that peepee jokes are still funny. It'll be great in two or three years when you and your kid just sit around telling poop jokes and laughing hysterically. Poor Amy.

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I was listening to the radio on the way to work yesterday, and it was time for the sports talk newsflash. Item number one was that NASA has just announced that this past year was the warmest year on record. (Sure as hell doesn't feel that way in Orono right now, but whatever.) They also said that it was warm in an unnatural way that can only be explained by, wait for it... Global Warming!!! (Doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that one out, oh wait...)

I'll let Johnboy explain why our government is cutting funding in environmental studies, as I'm just not smart enough to understand. Assuming of course that his brain bucket is still intact.

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Another rant: Yesterday in class my professor asked, "Who has read "Player Piano" by Kurt Vonnegut." One person. Me. He then asked, "Who has heard of it?" Same person. Finally, "Who has heard of Kurt Vonnegut?" Three hands went up. I was amazed that on a college campus, in a room of people who are, generally anyways, not idiots, only three people had even heard Kurt Vonnegut. And then I read this article in the Times, affirming what I already knew:

Kids these days just can't read like they used to.